


Without An Agenda

by kirasha, Titti



Category: Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Political Animals
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-05
Updated: 2014-11-05
Packaged: 2018-02-24 01:40:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 70,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2563571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirasha/pseuds/kirasha, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Titti/pseuds/Titti
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With Hydra still trying to kill the dangerous people on their list, Steve ends up protecting the Hammond family. But with some help from Bucky and the rest of the Avengers, plus a lot of confrontations with a very opinionated family, he also finds that right partner.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Without An Agenda

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Marvel Big Bang 2014.
> 
> Accompanying Fanmix by Defcontwo can be found [here](http://defconcollections.tumblr.com/post/101882797021/weve-been-waiting-but-were-next-in-line-a)

With the dismantlement of S.H.I.E.L.D., Tony had stepped up and truly privatized global security. Of course, he was also a smart businessman. Every Avenger name, costume and codename was now copyrighted and trademarked. There were lawyers recouping funds from unauthorized toys and merchandise, new deals were brokered, TV shows were authorized. There were also functions they attended where they were paid to party and eat. 

Steve found the entire thing a little repulsive. It was one thing to sing and dance to sell US bonds; it was another to profit from doing the right thing. On the other hand, the government was unwilling and unable to protect the population and letting Tony pay for everything didn't sit well with him. So now, he had a salary courtesy of Avengers, Inc. He had a free apartment in the middle of Manhattan and made appearances both in NY and DC, with the occasional trip to LA. 

He had kept his apartment in DC. Considering that he spent plenty of time there, trying to deal with politics, it seemed like a good idea. If he were honest with himself, he also didn't want to give it up, because he was hoping that Bucky would come and find him one day. The trail had grown cold, but Steve would not give up. He knew that it was a matter of time before Bucky remembered and found him. He'd make it easy by not leaving his apartment.

DC was a much different city than NY. While working with S.H.I.E.L.D., the city had been one large training ground, but now he was taking the time to see the sights (things other than the Smithsonian, which was still his favorite place to be). He was learning where the best bagels outside of NY were, or where they made the best pizza (Sal, who'd just come from Naples and still didn't have a green card), the Chinese restaurant that made wonderful dim sum on the weekends (you'd better know what you wanted, because no one spoke English).

"One day, you'll have to go somewhere other than a restaurant," Sam had said one day when Steve had been looking for Thai, but Steve hadn't paid attention. He was discovering a whole new world, foods that he'd never tasted in the 40s, and now he was going to try everything (and with his metabolism that meant a lot of it, too), but Sam wasn't one to give up so easily. 

It had taken a lot of talking, nudging, teasing and finally begging. "Natasha should have tried that," Sam had said with a grin when Steve had finally capitulated. Steve didn't point out that Natasha would never beg. Instead he memorized the address where they were supposed to meet and told Sam that they'd see each other later.

At ten o'clock sharp, Steve found himself in front of the location (he had tried that Vietnamese restaurant before coming over). He looked at the building. The Dome, or so the bright lights said. It was supposed to be some DC hot spot, or so Sam had said. Steve didn't know what to expect. From the women in short dresses and the men in smart suits, something truly expensive. With his jeans and tee shirt, he wasn't sure he would even get inside, which would give him the perfect excuse. 

He went at the back of the line, standing self-consciously among tens of people who looked like they had just come out of a fashion magazine. He tapped his fingers against his leg in time with the music coming from inside. If he could hear it so clearly from out here, he didn't even want to think about how loud and uncomfortable it would be inside. Maybe Sam would change his mind and they could go elsewhere.

Steve debated if he should just called his friend when he saw _him_ \- saw Bucky, walking inside the place like he owned it.

"Excuse me, coming through, excuse me, on your left." Steve snaked through the crowd to reach the entrance.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing, pal?" the bouncer said.

"I need to get inside," Steve answered, moving past the bouncer, who tried to stop him. "Don't do it," he warned, but the bouncer wasn't listening. Steve grabbed the man's arm and easily twisted it around his back. "I'm going in there to find someone and then I'll be out of your hair, _pal_. You take care of these nice people and I'll be gone before you know it."

Steve pushed the man to the side and ran inside.

"Sir, there's a cover," a woman's voice stopped him.

Steve took out a twenty dollar bill and handed it to her, before continuing in his search. The club was even louder than he had expected, the music assaulting his enhanced hearing. He blocked it out as he scanned the room, but there were too many people pressed together. He jumped on the bar.

"Hey, watch it, man, or I'm calling security," the bartender yelled, although how a normal person was supposed to hear him, Steve didn't know.

Steve scanned the room until he found Bucky. He jumped off of the bar, before pushing through the crowd, toward his ultimate goal. Bucky was walking away from him, and Steve wouldn't let him, not this time. He reached out and grabbed Bucky's right arm. "Buck, we need to talk."

"You need to take your hand off my boy, here." The first response came, not from the man who had been addressed, but the larger man at his side.

"It's okay, Omar. I don't mind being man-handled by Captain America." Reaching over with his left hand, TJ Hammond carefully pried the man's fingers off his arm with a smile. "Although, I would have preferred it be me he was looking for when he did it," he teased lightly, balancing flirtation and reproach with practiced ease.

TJ had almost stayed home that night. But, then his family had started in on their usual plotting and planning and he'd made the decision to come into the club, instead. He supposed he could have gone back to his place. But, by the time he'd escaped his mother's house, a night at the club was looking really good. He'd called Omar from the car, telling him to meet him there and they could put together a little party in the V.I.P. room.

That was where he'd been headed when a very firm hand around his arm stopped him.

TJ considered it a bonus that hand was connected to the very attractive package that was Captain America.

Of course TJ knew who he was. The man had been in the city for some time and TJ made it a point to know who everyone who was anyone in D.C. was. It helped that the man now grabbing at him had been plastered all over the news in that debacle at the Potomac. His identity wasn't exactly a secret anymore. Not that most people would notice. People rarely looked past the mask to see the guy wearing it.

Even when that mask was nothing more than a smile.

"I'm sorry. I'm not the man you're looking for. But, maybe I can help you find this...Buck? Wait. Where are my manners. Thomas Hammond, better known as TJ to most people."

Steve stared. It was like being on that bridge all over again, seeing that face, Bucky's face, and things making no sense at all. An even louder than normal noise brought him back and he focused on the man in front of him. He looked so much like Bucky, but it was obvious that it wasn't him. It wasn't just the arm, although that made it easy, but everything else. From the way he carried himself, to the pleasant but slightly fake tone, to the diplomatic smile.

He shook his head as he finally released the man. "I'm sorry. I thought you were an old friend." He extended his hand. "Steve Rogers, it's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Hammond."

"TJ, please." Taking the offered hand, TJ smiled and shook his head. "Mr. Hammond is my father. And, the pleasure is mine." Incredible as it seemed, he had the impression Steve Rogers was the one person in the entire country who didn't know who he was. He was polite, but not deferential or fawning. Even upon realizing his mistake in identifying TJ as his friend, he still treated TJ like any other man he might have met instead of someone important from whom he could get something.

Just then, the bouncer stationed at the door tonight appeared at Steve's side. "Sorry, TJ. He got passed me."

"You favor your right heavily and you telegraph." Steve didn't say that passing him wasn't that hard after all. "But sorry about that."

"No apologies necessary, Daryl." Yes, TJ actually made sure to know the names of everyone working for him, no matter what his parents thought. "It's alright. Go on back to the door. Mr. Rogers will be staying as my guest tonight."

"Oh, he paid the cover."

"Did he?" TJ couldn't help chuckling. "I'll take care of that, then. Thank you, Daryl."

"Of course."

As the bouncer left, TJ turned back to smile at Steve. "Seems you've made quite the impression on my staff tonight. Since you've already paid the cover, do me the honor of joining me in the lounge? I'll kick myself in the morning if I pass up my chance to get to know you better and the music in here isn't the most conducive to conversation. If you're expecting your friend that you've mistaken me for, I can ask Daryl to keep a watch for him at the door and send him up to us."

"Music? Is that what you call this noise?" Steve asked. "This can break your eardrums and that's without enhanced hearing." He couldn't believe people paid for this assault to one of their sense, and it was considered fun too. The idea of being somewhere quieter was appealing. "I am meeting someone, just not the same friend I thought you were. The name is Sam Wilson, Black, no African American? Still working on what’s acceptable today, 5' 10", 180 pounds, short black hair, with a goatee and mustaches like he can't figure out if he wants to shave or be Tony." It seemed to be a popular style too.

"I'm sorry that means that if you can take me to a room where I won't need my regenerative powers to ensure that I can still hear, I will be very grateful," Steve said.

TJ shrugged. "It's not Haydn or Fain and Tobias, but it has its merits. Just give me a moment."

He stopped the next waitress who passed. "Maria, sweetheart, will you go ask Daryl to put 'Sam Wilson' on the list? He's to be shown up to the V.I.P. Lounge as soon as he arrives." Taking a look around the club, he made a decision. "And close admittance to anyone not on the list for the next couple of hours. It's getting a little crowded in here. Thanks."

Turning back to his companions he gestured toward the stairs. "Shall we?"

"Yo, I'll be up later." Omar clapped him on the shoulder with a grin. "Think I'm gonna find me a couple honies on the dance floor, you know what I mean."

"Don't do anything I would do," TJ admonished, laughing as Omar made his way back the way they'd come. "Mr. Rogers?"

"Please, it's Steve. I'm old enough that I don't need the 'Mister'," Steve answered easily. "And before? I have no idea who Hayden, or Fain and Tobias are, unless you mean Charles Tobias. He did We Did It Before And We Can Do It Again with Cliff Friend right after Pearl Harbor," he said with a little smile. "I'm not sure why _you'd_ know about him, though."

He followed TJ toward this VIP lounge, hoping that it was quieter than here. "So you own this place." He was still looking around as they walked, in case Sam was already here. "It's…" He couldn't manage to find a positive adjective. It seemed like some sort of torture and not a place to have fun, but he wasn't one to disparage people or their accomplishments. "Busy. People must like it."

"And you don't," TJ finished with a grin.

The walk up to the lounge was anything but quick. Unlike Steve Rogers, most of the people there knew who TJ was and wanted their five seconds of fame to be seen talking to him. If he allowed paparazzi in the club, he'd never be able to move. As it was, they couldn't go more than a foot or two without someone trying to stop to talk, take a selfie, etc.

And TJ smiled and made polite noises at all of them because he knew it was what was expected.

It wasn't until they were in the relative safety of the V.I.P. lounge -- which was restricted to TJ, his business partners, and their guests -- that he picked up the threads of the conversation again. The sound was dampened, though not completely gone, just as the lights were set a bit brighter than on the dance floor below, but still dim enough to give the illusion of intimacy none of them could truly expect. The lounge was built to hold up to fifty people, but rarely saw more than a dozen or two at a time unless TJ was in one of his moods. Everything from the plush couches to the gleaming wood paneling was chosen to his personal taste as this was, essentially, his refuge from the world and his family.

"The glass is soundproof. So, we can watch the main room all we want and still carry on a conversation," he told Steve, pointing to the glass wall on one side of the darkened room. "The other one overlooks the dining room, but that area's closed for a private party tonight. To answer your question from before, Charles Tobias was who I meant. Sammy Fain wrote the music for Hellzapoppin with him in '39. My grandmother was a Vegas showgirl in the late 40s. I grew up listening to the popular music from her childhood and show years. I also have been playing the piano since I was small and Haydn is one of my favorite composers. Please, have a seat," he added, undoing the button on his jacket before taking a seat himself.

"Whoever sold you that as soundproof was lying," he said, chuckling. "And it's not that I don't like it. It's very loud and my hearing is better than most." He took a seat on the couch as he looked around the room. It was all so fancy, nothing like the bars back in London. "So… I probably should ask. Should I know you? Plenty of people seem to."

"Plenty of people think they do." Standing again, TJ made his way over to the bar. He could have hired a bartender for the lounge, but he preferred mixing his own drinks. It was relaxing. "Technically, I suppose you should know who I am. But, I'll admit that it's refreshing to talk to someone who doesn't. Drink?"

"Technically? I don't know what that means, but I'll make it easy, unless you're S.H.I.E.L.D., Hydra, or someone who's trying to get me to testify in front of one subcommittee or another, then it's unlikely that I should know who you are… and that came out wrong," he said with a laugh. "I mean that there are too many things to learn and I've been focused."

Steve wasn't sure how TJ could even hear this far away, but then his ears were probably not buzzing from downstairs. He got up and joined him at the bar, saving himself the trouble of speaking up. "Whiskey, or anything that has flavor. Alcohol content is irrelevant since it doesn't affect me." He tilted his head as he stared at the man. It was hard not to remember a dark bar, sharing a drink with Bucky, but he pushed that away and focused on the conversation. "So back to why I should technically know you. Are you famous? Like that Hawking guy? Or Tony famous?"

TJ's hand paused over a tumbler, his usual cool veneer cracking in his surprise. "What does that mean? 'Alcohol doesn't affect you'? You can't get drunk? That...has to suck."

Shaking his head, he retrieved two tumblers and skipped the ice. It took a minute for him to place the references and when he did, he laughed as he poured their drinks. "Hawking, as in Stephen Hawking? No. Not like that at all. Pretty sure I'm lacking several degrees for that one. I'll assume you mean Tony Stark, given your association, and if you switch famous to infamous, you might be getting closer." He handed one glass to Steve. "Here."

After taking a swallow from his own drink, he came back around the bar and returned to the couch. "As you insist, my father is former President Bud Hammond. My mother is former Secretary of State Elaine Barrish. My brother, Doug, was her Chief of Staff. The country's basically been forced to watch me grow up since I was twelve."

"Thanks." Steve took a sip of the whiskey. He never had the money for the good stuff, but his taste buds surely knew how good this was. "So not someone I should know," he said with a grin. "Sorry, but there's a lot of history to learn. If I start with all of the children of all of the former presidents, I'll miss out on a lot more important things, like Stephen Hawking."

He swirled the alcohol, not in a rush to finish it, while he watched the other man, trying to find out what he wasn't saying. Tony spoke like that, too many words, too few direct messages. It was tiring listening to them and trying to find out what they meant. With Tony, he could just cut to the chase. "Tony would say he's infamous, too. Pretty sure he wears that as a badge of honor."

Drinking some more, he enjoyed the burn he could feel as the whiskey made his way down. It was easier not to stare when he could concentrate on something else. "Not getting drunk isn't that bad," he said as he put the glass down. "I get to enjoy the taste without losing control and I can keep going for basically ever. There are moments when it's not so nice. I lost my best friend. That time I wanted to get drunk, but normally I don't want to. So, TJ, since you seem to know who I am and what I do, why don't you tell me what you do? Other than knowing everyone in DC if that little walk was anything to go by."

TJ had to bite his tongue on the crass remark about endurance that wanted out. Hard. Steve was so... _genuine_ it was incredible. He was pretty sure he'd never met anyone this straight arrow and sincere. They didn't breed them in this town. You had to go back to Steve's time and even then you probably wouldn't find them in D.C. "Know everyone who's anyone in New York, Los Angeles, London, Milan, and Paris," he replied with as straight a face as he could muster.

He waved toward the room at large. "This is it, really. The Dome is my baby. My partners and I opened her a couple years ago and I put most of my time into keeping her running and relevant. Everything else is either publicity for the club or public appearances for my family's various endeavors, interviews and photo-shoots and parties. My brother's the one who'll pick up the reigns of the 'political empire'. I have this."

It seemed empty to a lot of people. TJ got that. His parents thought he was just wasting his life, using it as an excuse to party. None of them saw the truth of things. But, that was nothing new, either. Taking another swallow of whiskey, he looked up at Steve, smirking playfully. "And for the record? I am way more important to know in this town than Stephen Hawking."

Steve raised his eyebrows. TJ went from remind him of Bucky to being Tony's younger version. It was a downgrade as far as Steve was concerned. "I somehow doubt it, but then I've never been too impressed with 'everyone who's anyone', no matter in which city they live in. They are usually a lot less important in the grand scheme of things that they'd like to think."

He looked around the room again. "But this is nice. A lot more impressive than being a politician considering how many have been arrested lately. Vice presidents, senators, congressmen, they really don't have the best reputation. Come to think of it, they didn't in my time either."

He looked at TJ and smiled brightly. "However, you have saved my hearing, for that you are more important than a lot of people at the moment."

"I did Captain America a solid," TJ drawled around the lip of the glass as he went in for another swallow. "That's got to count for something."

"You get the pleasure of my company in return," he said with another smile, before turning as he heard his name being called. "Hey, Sam." He clapped his friend's back. "You ever suggest a club again, I'm going to hurt you," he said in a friendly tone. "Now, meet TJ. He rescued me from the noise."

"Nice to meet you, TJ-He-Rescued-Me-From-The-Noise." Sam offered his hand, which TJ, who had stood again upon the other man's arrival, took briefly.

"Just TJ."

"Just TJ." Sam repeated, turning to stare at Steve in amusement. "Now, see? This is why I tell you to get out and go to places like clubs. So, you can meet nice men who save your hearing. Say 'Thank you, Sam'."

"I wouldn't need to be rescued if I weren't in here in the first place, so 'thank you, Sam' for almost causing my eardrums to explode," he said, before turning to look at TJ again, even if he was still talking to Sam. "Doesn't he look like Buck?" Sam might have not known Bucky, but he'd seen enough pictures while they were looking for him that he would understand. "I thought it was him at first, jumped the line to come and catch him."

Steve smiled, and the smile was directed at TJ. "Instead, I got to meet someone infamous, but still better than a politician," he teased. "Or at least I think so. We didn't have time to reach an agreement on the subject, because you arrived."

"God, don't ever let my family hear you say that." TJ's huff of laughter was stilted as he shook his head. "I'll never hear the end of it. Don't know about you, but I need a refill. How about you, Sam-Who-Drags-His-Friend-To-Clubs-He-Hates? Got a full bar. Anything you like." It was the V.I.P. room, after all. And, these were V.I.P. guests, whether Steve choose to see that or not.

"Touché." Sam laughed, eyeing the drinks in both TJ and Steve's hands. "Just a beer for me. Thanks." Watching the other man move toward the bar, he nodded. Then, he glanced at Steve. "Yeah, he does look like Barnes," he added quietly. "What I saw of him. Little creepy, actually. You know who this guy is?" Sam wasn't going to make a big deal of it. Far as he was concerned, man was man, no matter who his parents were. But, that didn't mean he didn't recognize their host.

Steve nodded. "He told me after I grabbed him and called him Bucky," he said with a small smile. "He's used to being recognized. Being mistaken for someone else must be a new experience."

"I'll bet," Sam murmured

Steve finished off his glass, before turning to their host. "Do I get a refill, too or am I going to put you out of business with my drinking?" he teased. "I'll take anything that isn't beer."

"All you've said is that you can't get drunk," TJ returned, a faint smirk tilting up the corner of his mouth as he poured two more whiskeys and drew a beer from the tap for Sam. Picking up one tumbler, he handed Sam the glass of beer with the other hand. "You haven't said if that means you'll just keep drinking up my good whiskey like it really is the water of life." He held out the fresh drink toward Steve and reached for Steve's empty to take back to the bar while he retrieved his refill.

Sam looked at Steve and simply raised his eyebrows over the rim of his glass as took a drink.

"I wouldn't finish _all_ of your whiskey," he added with an innocent smile. This time, he swirled the whiskey around, enjoying the feel of the glass in his hand. It was almost like he could imagine a bar in London, from long time ago, before any of these people and their parents were even born. 

"All the senses are enhanced, including taste," he explained. "I enjoy drinking, recognizing the flavors. It's something I couldn't do before the serum. I wasn't healthy enough and I sure wasn't rich enough. Now, I can recognize almost anything that's on any given liquor or wine, but it's nice to find new blends."

"Now that's a statement that's just begging me to start mixing drinks and test it," TJ teased, taking a healthy swallow of his own drink. He didn't even really taste them anymore. Just drank when he needed to relax and other options were off the table for any reason.

Steve chuckled. "Is there a bet that comes with the drinks? It might make the night more interesting." He gave a cursory look at the drink. "Although you might want to slow down if you want to win or if you just want to savor it." Taking a small sip, he kept his eyes on TJ, before putting it down. "For example, when you drink this, you can taste the rye mostly, but there's wheat and barley as well. There's a hint or orange and peach, and-" He took another sip. He closed his eyes and swirled the amber liquid in his mouth before swallowing, Adam's apple bobbing while his throat burnt from the alcohol. "I'd say almond and pine nuts with a touch of chocolate. You can even taste the oak from the barrel in which it aged. With one sip, you can know so much about its history, the country it's from, the way ingredients were combined to make something so sweet. Why give it all up by simply swallowing it like it's water? You'll be surprised how much better things are if you let yourself enjoy them instead of rushing through them. It's something this modern world has forgotten."

The only thing TJ was swallowing at the moment -- God help him for the thought! -- was air. He raised his glass absently, lowering it again when he realized he had no idea how to take that next drink in the wake of witnessing the hottest sip of whiskey he'd ever seen taken. If TJ could see another glass of whiskey, ever, and not imagine blue eyes and an almost sweet smile, he'd be surprised.

As he cleared his throat, he was grateful for the interruption Maria's appearance presented at that moment.

"Sorry to bother you, TJ, but Max says he needs you to handle something at the bar."

"It's alright, Maria." Rebuttoning his jacket, he shrugged it straight before following her back to the main floor. But, not without a glance back at Steve. "Excuse me, gentlemen. I'll be back in a moment."

After he was gone, Sam turned to Steve with a smirk. "Did I interrupt something? Would you like me to leave you two alone? I'm sure I can entertain myself downstairs."

"What?" Steve asked with a frown. He had no idea what Sam was talking about for a split second, but despite popular opinion, Steve wasn't stupid or naive, but he didn't think like people did today. Or maybe he never thought like other people. Bucky certainly never acted like him around people. Still, he was smart enough that when he gave it a thought, he knew exactly what Sam was saying. "I've just met him," he said, shocked at the implication. "And he's a man." He probably should have started with that one, and he would have if it had been 1944, but it wasn't and he didn't think finding the right partner should be limited to gender.

"It's just… He looks so much like Bucky that I couldn't walk away, Sam, and it's strange, because the more he talks, the more it's obvious that he isn't, and I should leave for my mental sanity, but-" He shrugged. "Nothing is going to help with that until I find Bucky."

"I think I'm starting to understand why Natasha's attempts at finding you a date have been a bust." Sam chuckled, then drank down the rest of his beer. Moving to place the empty glass on the bar, he shook his head. When he turned around, he leaned back, hands supporting his weight on the edge of the bar.

"You really don't see it, do you?" Cocking his head, Sam had to wonder if Steve even realized what he'd just said. Or, implied. "Steve, the look you just gave him was hot enough to melt your own shield and I'm not even batting for that team. He is, though. Your new friend that you've been making eyes at ever since I got here, is rather _famously_ gay. And, if his look just now was anything to go by, he would not be saying no if tall, blonde, and vintage wanted to take him home tonight for some very private horizontal tango lessons, if you get me."

"Natasha didn't find me a date, because she made too many assumptions about what I want, just like you are," he added before Sam could come up with yet another wrong assumption. "If I were to take him home, it'd be to make sure that he's safe. There would be no tango or sex. You can say the word. I won't self-combust." One day people would stop thinking that doing the right thing meant that he was some sort of priest, unable to relate to the rest of the world.

"It doesn't matter if he's straight or gay. I'd never have sex with someone I've just met," he said, before taking another swallow if his whiskey. "If I'm looking at him strangely, it's because of who he resembles and don't even suggest about me and Bucky, because that's so very wrong." He fixed Sam with a gaze. "There is nothing hot or lascivious about the way I'm looking at him. I'll-" He lowered his eyes as he stared at the glass. "I'll stop looking, because I don't want to give him the wrong impressions. He reminds me of Bucky, of better days. That's all."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Whoa, ease up there. I'm not making assumptions. I'm just telling you what I see. That's all. You say it's nothing. Fine. It's nothing. Moving on. All euphemisms used for humor factor not kid gloves, thank you very much."

Steve's eyes don't move, as if the alcohol can provide a higher truth and then nods. "Thanks. I appreciate that, but if that's what you see and what he sees, then it's time for me to go home." He looked up and smiled. He was used to smiling to people regardless of what was going on inside him. "Maybe we should try something different for fun. Movies? Restaurants? Let's skip places where people assume that you're looking for someone."

* * *

Fate was a mysterious beast. Steve was doing his best to find Bucky, but he found himself staring at TJ for a second time. It was almost two months after their first encounter. He had been spending his time looking for his best friend until they got intel from Fury that gave them another mission.

Hydra seemed to have split with different factions working toward different goals. It wasn't hard to believe considering that the organization had infiltrated multiple agencies in multiple countries. It seemed that one branch had decided to continue the work started by Pierce. They couldn't kill ten million people, but they were looking to kill the more immediate and important threats.

Nick had managed to give them some names, mostly politicians and CEOs. Normally, they would contact them, get their security up to speed and look for the Hydra agents on the mission, but tonight it was different. They found themselves at a fundraiser for the Democratic party. The party was at a fancy Virginian mansion, although Steve would have called it plantation, but it was told that it wasn't PC anymore, especially for Democrats. The guest list included five names from that Fury's list, including the president, seven if you included Tony and Bruce

"Keep your eyes open," Steve said over the comms. They were in a garden, completely exposed and he didn't like it one bit.

They had gotten invitations for the night thanks to Tony who was working the crowd with Pepper at his side. They could have been the stars of the party. Rhodey has his uniform on. Both he and Tony had their Iron Suit discreetly hidden under a table with Happy standing next to it. Steve had decided to keep his shield in a separate location while Clint's bow was in another and Sam's wings in yet another one. He was sure that Natasha was the only one who had guns and knives on her despite the strict security and the Secret Service. 

Steve was walking around, not really talking to people. It was strange how many people had mistaken him for a waiter before doing a double take, but most people left him alone, which allowed him to stay focused on the mission, at least until he ran into TJ. "Savoring the drink?" Steve asked as he approached the man who was currently holding a flute.

TJ's eyes widened in surprised before his features settled into the more customary blasé smirk. "Just a prop tonight," he replied more candidly than he'd intended to. Recovering, he eyed Steve with interest. After the other man had left his club weeks ago, TJ had decided it was just as well. The man was definitely off limits and being attracted to men who were off limits had never ended well for TJ. "Although, once the speeches start, I might be in a race to see how fast I can get drunk. You might wish you could do the same. If I recall, you're not terribly fond of politicians. Of course, that begs the question of why you're here."

Steve had never been a good liar. He might have omitted the truth, stepped around it, but usually other people lied for him. "Because too many people here are targets," he said with extreme honesty. "I wouldn't get drunk if I were you. In fact, you want to be sober enough to keep a level head and run for your life if something happens." He looked around, eyes going from target to target.

There was President Ellis of course, and Tony was sticking close to him. Thankfully, the vice president was elsewhere. John Patricks, CEO of some or other technological company, was being babysat by Clint at the moment. Lt. Marcus Bledsoe, and no one had been able to figure out why he was on the list until Tony had hacked into the Air Force system and found out that he was working on a top-secret space project, was never far from Rhodey. Michael Lindon, chairman of some multi-corporation that made materials that wouldn't be destroyed in space was being shadowed by Sam.

There were also the Hammonds. They only had a last name. The former President could have been the target, but they were betting that it was the wife. With Ellis not seeking reelection after his kidnapping and the arrest of the VP, the Democratic party had thrown its support her way. Everyone expected her to be the next Democratic nominee, even if she had yet to announce her candidacy. Still, they couldn't go with gut and were protecting both. Natasha seemed to have the attention of the president despite the fact that she was holding Bruce's arm.

Steve might not want to lie, but he didn't want to discuss the specifics. "Why are you here if you hate it?" he asked instead. 

"Because my parents are essentially the party monarchs, or so they would have you believe, which would make me the heir apparent if I wasn't more interested in running a club than the country." TJ spoke quietly, careful to keep his public smile in place for those he knew would be watching. He'd been left with very strict orders to be on his best behavior and he was too tired after several nights in a row partying with Omar and his party favors to want to go three rounds with his parents and, possibly, his brother.

Watching as Steve's gaze wandered the room, TJ lifted his champagne and pretended to sip as he had done all evening so far. If there was any sort of credible threat, he was sure they would have been warned before their arrival. So, he was happy to dismiss the subject as unlikely, paranoia, unimportant, or all three. "That's them over there." He nodded slightly in their direction. If they weren't supposed to be publicly supporting his mother, TJ was sure his father would have sweet-talked the redhead he was ogling into the study for a quickie by now. "Holding court."

Steve chuckled at the idea of them holding court. He could imagine Natasha going through the latest reports in her head while saying the right things or how not interested Bruce would be in any discussion that didn't include the health care system and helping the poor. "I know who they are." They also seemed to know who he was, because they had looked more than once since he'd started speaking to TJ. 

He wished he could look at TJ while they spoke, but he couldn't afford to. Then again, he remembered Sam's words and maybe it was for the best. There had been something that he hadn't done, though, and should have. "I'm sorry for leaving so abruptly. Something came up and it was best to keep my problems away from the club. My problems tend to come with explosion and destruction." Both things were true, even if the implication wasn't. It was as close as Steve had come to lying in a long time and didn't know why he was trying so hard to justify his actions.

"Things come up a lot in this town. Better a sudden disappearance than something exploding at my club." TJ waved dismissively. It wasn't like he'd expected any different. Steve had only been around because he thought TJ looked like someone else. His friend had arrived and they'd left someplace Steve had clearly not enjoyed. It was nothing to get hurt over.

Of course, it had been a lot easier to talk to the man at the club, in his private domain where he didn't have to worry about what he said or who saw them talking or what people would think. TJ had liked easy. This was...political.

"Tell you what, you come back to the club and we'll see about putting those super taste buds of yours to the test. I have quite the repertoire of mixed drinks. But, for now, I think I'm going to find someplace out of the way where I can have a smoke without reminding everyone what hypocrites they are by preaching no smoking campaigns after they've smoked their pack for the day."

"Can we just go to a bar?" Steve answered before he could determine the implications of what he was saying, and there were so many from his dislike of the club to leading TJ on. "I… it's just too loud there," he rushed to add. "And I'd rather that you didn't leave. It's not safe."

Steve was saved from saying more when he saw another man arrive. He hadn't known TJ during their first meeting, but since Fury's warning, he had learned about the possible targets and their families and recognized him on sight. Douglas Hammond, twin brother of TJ, lawyer, chief of staff and now working for some not-for-profit organization. Everyone expected him to step down as soon as their mother announced that she was running for president. Steve knew who he was, but offered nothing more than a smile.

"Captain Rogers, I'm Douglas Hammond. It's an honor to meet you," he said offering his hand.

"Mr. Hammond," Steve said pleasantly.

"I see you've met my brother." Doug kept his focus on the man, because he was used to running interference when TJ started to talk to people their mother would want as possible allies. "Is he boring you with his club already? He loves that club and doesn't remember that not everyone enjoys the same thing."

Steve shook his head. "He wasn't boring me at all. In fact, we were discussing the possibility of going drinking somewhere as a reward for surviving this boring party. I could be convinced to go back to The Dome if he's more comfortable there."

TJ stood there, torn, as usual, on what to do, what emotional response to follow: the annoyance at his brother's interruption? the familiar aching pain of his family's dismissal? the surprising warmth at Steve's unexpected defense? Raising his hand, he took a real sip of champagne to cover his confusion, then swallowed it slowly, eyes wide as he realized Steve had been right about savoring it. TJ couldn't remember the last time he'd enjoyed anything, even something as simple as a sip of champagne.

"We don't have to back to the club. You're still relatively new in town, getting your bearings. We should try different places. I think I know of one or two that will suit and where no one will raise an eyebrow at our clothes or identities."

Steve laughed. "I don't really care if people notice who I am or not, at least most of the times."

Doug looked at them with a frown. "You two know each other." It was the sort of statement that sounded like a question. "TJ, you never said anything about knowing Captain Rogers."

"Please, call me Steve," the answer came easily.

"If you like," Doug answered, but now he was looking at TJ. "You know Captain America." The idea didn't seem to compute. TJ was the opposite of the all-American wholesome boy, and now Doug had images of TJ trying to push E on their shiniest hero.

If they hadn't been at a function, TJ would have rolled his eyes. But, he refrained. "We've met before, yes. Steve came into the club a few weeks ago and we hung out for a little while." He smiled. "We're working on the actual knowing part."

Steve was listening to the two brothers talk when he heard Tony on the earwig.

"JARVIS has picked up drones coming our way. ETA 45 seconds," Tony said with a glee that wasn't shared by Steve.

"Everyone, suit up," Steve said, before turning to the other two men. "I need you to take cover, right now," he said, before he ran to where his shield was hiding. The rest of the Avengers were getting their own weapons.

"Alright, who had 'drone attack' in the villainous deed pool?" Clint asked, sounding almost as gleeful as Tony. "Winner's turn to pick the after-battle restaurant."

"I thought there was still a debate on calling it the Villainous Deed Pool or Attack Mode Bingo," Sam chimed in.

"And you didn't tell me about a bet," Rhodey answered. "You people officially suck."

Tony laughed over the comms. "Told you he'd fit right in, and I'm pretty sure it's Bruce's turn, and pal, time to let the Big Guy loose."

"Thirty eight seconds," Steve said, counting off the time in his head. "Less talking and more getting ready."

"Yes, Mom," Tony said, and too bad that they couldn't see him wink with his face plate on.

"I've been ready since we left," Natasha pointed out primly, accompanied by the sound of tearing fabric over the comms as she made her long skirt more work appropriate.

"Tony, how's evacuation going?" Steve asked.

"Pepper is getting the civilians in the house, and the next time anyone brings up missions in front of her, that person will be barred from picking a restaurant forever," he mentioned darkly.

"Twenty-seven seconds. Everyone cover your targets and keep them away from the rest of the civilians," Steve ordered.

"How many incoming?" Sam asked. "Can we take them out before they get here?"

"Eight drones for seven targets," Tony said. "I think Bruce gets two."

"All right, Tony, Sam, go up, see how many you can shoot down before they launch their missiles," Steve said, ignoring the jokes. "We'll have to cover the targets on land. Rhodey, you cover the president while the Secret Service gets him out." Stupid people didn't understand that keeping him close would be safer than trying to move him, especially with drones involved. "Natasha, you get Lindon. Bruce knows to cover Patricks, Clint, you get Bledsoe. I'll keep the Hammonds safe."

Tony and Sam were up in the air before Steve even finished. They all knew their mission even before Steve had given the orders. They had planned it this way, but things changed in the field which is why Steve was repeating their orders.

"You'll be shining my suits when I shoot down more than you." When and not if, because Tony was anything if not confident and had learned that Sam was more than willing to play the games.

"I'd love to geek out about being allowed to touch the hallowed suits," Sam shot back. "But, I'm going to be too busy watching you squirm while watching the entire run of _Crime Traveller_ without dissing the tech involved."

On the ground, there was movement. The civilians were still trying to get into the house even though there were plenty of open doors and security telling them where to go. Always count on people panicking.

"Sir, the drones have released a first wave of missiles before being within visual range," JARVIS said.

"Incoming in four, three, two, and-" Fireworks exploded all around them. Tony and Bruce had the easiest job since some of those missiles were directed at them to begin with. Without the suit, he'd be dead, but instead he shot the missiles down before they got close enough. The Hulk was grabbing them and tossing them at his feet, watching them explode and destroying the turf with a manic grin on his face.

"I'm reading twelve missiles per drone," Tony said. "Ninety-six in total and Bruce and I are doing all the work for you."

Even Steve snorted at that. "I'll help as soon as I'm done sipping my champagne."

"Don't forget the caviar," Clint prompted.

"No, don't forget the caviar, Steve." Natasha's voice managed to convey amusement with very little change in tone from the business-like warning that followed. "You're in the line of fire, Sam."

Steve let the banter continue around him, but one thing was becoming obvious as Natasha and Clint shot down the missiles that went past Tony and Sam: none of the missiles were coming close to his targets. Focused in the sky, trying to predict the trajectory, he saw what was happening.

"There are missiles going toward the house. Protect the civilians," Steve said as he rushed toward the open doors where people were standing and watching like this was some surreal movie and they weren't the one in dangers.

"Copy that," Sam answered all business.

Steve jumped over a table, food crashing to the floor, and he used the table to vault himself closer, sprinting over the few yards and jumping high enough so that the missile exploded against the shield. He was pushed down by the explosion. The pain in his shoulder made him grunt, but there was no time to stop now. All the civilians were in danger if he didn't separate them from the target, except he wasn't sure who it was anymore.

"TJ, Doug, follow me, away from the house and into the garden," he barked out. "I have two possible targets with me. I need backup."

Rhodey's voice came alive over the comm. "The president has decided to stay put and not put people on the road in danger. Secret Service has him hidden in one of the limos so that the drones can't get a facial match. I'll be there, Cap."

"Why don't we do it with everyone?" Tony said.

"Because there's no guarantee that they won't start shooting indiscriminately if we take all of their targets away," Steve answered, before turning to his new two charges. "Stay close to me. I will keep you safe."

"Okay." Something wittier and more sarcastic would have been a better response, but TJ was a little freaked out by the exploding missiles all around them and he was perfectly happy grabbing hold of Doug's wrist and staying near the man who'd just survived blocking one with a _shield_.

"Did you see what he did?" Doug said as he followed TJ, not even complaining about the way TJ was holding him.

"Down, both of you. Stay low," Steve said as he led them away from the house and toward the middle of the garden where the other targets were. He saw that the older Hammonds were making their ways to the house.

The loud explosion made him look in the air. "Tony?"

"Two drones down, Cap. I left one for Sam," Tony answered.

"I'll shine those suits if you can get all of them down," Steve answered.

"Such a sweet talking. If you wanted some private time with the Iron Man, you only had to ask," Tony rebutted.

"It's a date. Now, shoot them down."

Neither man stayed idle as they talked, shooting down two more missiles. Once more, Steve had to jump in the air to meet the missile before it got too close to either Hammond. Steve landed right in front of them when he heard the sound of a missile. He raised his shield to cover them, but there was another explosion. "Thanks, Rhodey."

"No problem, Cap," Rhodey answered. "I can't see anymore. Tony?"

"Yep, all of the candles have been blown. Sam did take one drone down. Our little boy is growing up," Tony answered. "The other five flew away after releasing all of the missiles. You know, it will be a bitch to fix the garden now."

"It'll go a little easier if you can tell the Hulk to let Bruce out again," Steve answered, because they all knew that while Bruce was able to control the transformations better, Tony was working with the Hulk to make him more focused. "Rhodey, let the President know that he's safe to leave. Let's secure the targets and work with their security to make sure they stay alive."

Steve turned to TJ and Doug. "Are you all right?"

Doug nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I'm good," he said, sounding like he was in a daze, before looking at TJ. "You okay?"

"Sure. Fine." Nothing spending the rest of the night with a fuck and blow wouldn't cure. But, even TJ knew saying that out loud would be the worst thing he could say in that moment. "Steve? What the fuck is going on? You knew this was going to happen, didn't you? You were being literal with all that talk about targets earlier, weren't you? Also, how the hell are you still standing after taking a hit like that twice?"

"Super Soldier Serum," he answered with a small smile. "You should check out the Smithsonian, they really do have a very extensive explanation, and yes, I knew something was going to happen, even if I didn't know what. Why do you think I was here? My interest in politics?"

He looked around to make sure the other targets were being covered for a moment, before speaking up again. "All right, let's get your family home and then we can talk about this, before we do that, is your wife here?"

Doug shook his head. "We're separated, getting a divorce. She's back in California."

"Is there anyone else that is important in your lives, someone that people would use to get to you?" Steve asked.

"Nothing public," Doug answered, diplomatic, ignoring the look from his brother.

"You've just watched military drones fly over US airspace and shoot missiles at a party the President was attending. Do you really think that these people don't have the resources to find out who's important to you?" Steve asked, not sure why people kept arguing when they were trying to keep them alive. "I need a name and an address and we'll pick her up. We need all of you in one place until we can devise a plan to keep you safe."

"I'd rather tell her myself," Doug answered.

"Fine. Natasha," Steve said over the comms. "I need you to go with Doug Hammond to pick up someone and meet us at…"

"My mother's house," Doug supplied.

"Ms. Barrish's home," Steve finished, before pointing her out, although there was no reason considering that she was coming their way with the intensity that seemed to always surround her. "Go. She'll keep you safe."

"I'll see you at Mom's," Doug told TJ, before leaving.

Steve turned to TJ. "Are you really okay?"

Looking around at the chaos, TJ shook his head, ran his trembling hand through his hair before putting both hands in his pockets. "Yeah...no...I don't know." He'd been better before there was the idea of going to his mother's. And why did he end up always being so frank with Steve? They'd now spoken twice and TJ's usual barriers with people had been half-raised at best. "I'm okay. Thank you."

TJ supposed it was really just Steve's job to protect them, just like his old protection detail. But, Steve hadn't needed to ask after him a second time, or stand up for him with Doug before. He tried to find his usual smirk. "Would rather be getting those drinks than going to my mother's for a war council."

"You don't look okay." Steve was used to fighting with soldiers, heroes, and even in the Battle of New York, they had been so busy that he hadn't had the time to focus on the civilians. Keep them safe. That was all they had to do. Now, he was looking at a very shaken man who wore the face of a friend who never looked shaken, not even while being rescued from an insane scientist.

"Maybe we can find something to drink at your mother's. Looks like you need it." He stared at TJ. "I told you that I'll keep you safe. I don't break my promises. Now, let's get you somewhere safer. I just need to speak with your parents' security detail and then we can go. I guess I should ask how you all got here. We might have to leave cars behind for tonight."

"The three of them probably came in Mama's car, united front and all. I had things to see to with the club, so I just had the service I use for the club send a car." TJ couldn't remember the last time any of his family drove themselves anywhere. He only did it himself when he didn't want anyone to know where he'd be spending the night. "But, you can double check with Clark, the agent over there. He's been the head of her detail for years. Possibly even drove himself."

What TJ needed was a gram or twelve. But, he wasn't going to have a chance to even try getting a single line at his mother's. It was going to have to be alcohol. "I'll introduce you to Nana," he said with an attempt at a smile. "She taught me everything I know about mixing drinks anyway. Just watch out. Hunk like you isn't going to get out of there without her trying to pinch your ass at least once."

Steve ignored the comment about his butt, concentrating on the important things first. "You can go back with them or ride with me, but I have my bike here. Any preferences before I make arrangements?"

TJ didn't even hesitate. "With you on the bike. Definitely."

Steve laughed at how quickly he got an answer. "Okay, let's go talk to Clark and let's get everyone moving."

* * *

Steve waited for Natasha to arrive. It was a simple plan. She would arrive, they would discuss the problem at hand and they would work out a solution. Steve was pretty sure that this was how it worked with everyone else, and _that_ included the President of the United States. Apparently things were very different with the Hammonds. He barely had time to open his mouth and ask people to sit, when Elaine Barrish ignored him and walked toward her son.

"Susan? Why do we need the press here?" Elaine asked.

"She's not here as a member of the press, Mom. She's- she's with me," Doug said, and Steve could see how uncomfortable the woman - Susan - looked, just as much as he did.

"Oh Lord. Here we go," Margaret Barrish declared, promptly pouring a drink for TJ and topping off the one she'd already had in her hand when they arrived.

"You're married," Elaine answered, ignoring her mother.

"I'm getting divorced, Mom. You know that. Annie moved back to California months ago. The papers have been submitted. We're just waiting for the divorce to be signed and registered by the County Clerk. It's just a formality. I shouldn't have to explain this. You're a lawyer," Doug said.

"Don't raise your voice with your mother," Bud said as he went to get himself a drink.

"I'm not-" Doug stopped and took a breath before lowering his voice. "My marriage will be over in a few weeks."

"And you couldn't wait?" Elaine asked.

"Susan and I-" Doug stopped again and took Susan's hand. "We… we love each other, Mom, but we weren't going to say anything until after the election."

"You love each other? How long has this been going on?" Elaine turned to Bud. "This is your fault."

"What? He can't keep it in his pants and it's my fault. Come on, Sugar, you have to know that he's an adult now," Bud said.

"Leave Dougie alone, Mama. It's not like he's the first in this family to make poor choices in who to fuck when." TJ snorted. "How long has your divorce been final, again?"

"I'm not the one sleeping with other people while married," Elaine answered.

"No, just with Dad while divorced," Doug answered.

Steve was getting a headache just listening to these people. They had almost died and they were worried about marriages and divorces. He looked at Natasha, but she was studying all of them. He wouldn't be surprised if she already knew more than they had on their files just by this one conversation. She could analyze them while he went for blunt truth. "Can we focus on the important things? Hydra is trying to kill one of you." At least that got their attention.

"Now, if you could sit down, let's start with the important subject." Steve waited. The seating arrangements were a sort of war strategy in themselves. The strategist in him could see the implications, but he didn't really care about family squabbles. "We originally thought that either you, Ms. Barrish, or your ex-husband was the target, but after tonight, it's clear that the target is one of your sons."

"Doug?" Elaine said, because it made sense. Doug was going to follow in their footstep and get to the oval office.

"Maybe, maybe not," Steve said. "I can't make that assumption. I know one of them is the target. In the end, it makes little difference, because regardless of who's the target, we need to keep the entire family protected. Now, when are you going to announce your candidacy?"

"I haven't decided if-"

Steve pinched his nose for a moment. "Ma'am, with all due respect, all of DC knows you'll be running. I need to know when you will announce it, because then you get a full secret service detail for every member of your family as opposed to minimal coverage for you and your husband. All of you need to have security 24/7. I don't mean just nice men who will take a bullet for you, but people used to dealing with surprise attacks. We have found a few private security firms run by former special forces that you can use. One way to make it easier is if you could live in the same house. At this point, we have two possible targets and four collaterals, living in five different homes."

"We can announce the candidacy next week," Doug said. "We have everything in place, donors are lined up. It puts a damper on the anticipation, but if we use this attack, it might benefit us. You're the only candidate Hydra wants to eliminate."

"Hydra doesn't want to eliminate her," Steve pointed out.

"But the press doesn't know that," Doug answered.

Bud snorted. "The press is sitting on your lap, Dougie." He drank some of his whiskey. "I can move back in, Sugar, and the boys have their rooms here."

"You're getting the guest room," Elaine said with a smile.

"I never thought otherwise."

"Just remember I still have my second husband's shotgun," Margaret said darkly.

"You said one way to make it easier. Not only way." TJ took a long swallow of his drink. If he had to move back into this three ring circus of a family with the addition of God only knew how many more security personnel, TJ really would lose it once and for all.

Even he knew Doug had to be the target. TJ was, despite his public assertions, superfluous and, therefore, expendable if need be. Doug should be protected and TJ could continue on into obscurity. It wasn't like he would even be decent leverage, anyway. "What are the other options?"

"You hire a lot of security. You need full teams around all of you. We're going to try and keep an eye on everyone, but there's only so many of us and too many targets at this point," Steve said with a sigh. He wished the Avengers could protect all of them, but they weren't omnipresent. "Tasha, do you know if Rhodey convinced the Air Force to have special forces protect the lieutenant?"

"On his way to rudely wake up some brass, are the words I think he used when I spoke to him on the way here." She smiled serenely. "After this, they should be a little more amenable, particularly considering the last time he and Tony tried to warn people of a similar threat. He should know for certain by morning."

"You're spread too thin," TJ interrupted. "You have to prioritize. And, let's face it, collateral or not, some of us are less important than others. We'll manage."

Steve only nodded at Natasha. They didn't need much else to understand each other. "You're right, at this point your parents and grandmother are less important. You and your brother aren't. We don't know why either one of you might have been singled out by Hydra, just like we don't know why some of the others were targeted, which is why we're trying to help everyone, but we do need help. If we can have a full secret service team here, it helps. Tony is also providing tech help, security around the house, sensors. We can do a lot with that, but again it's much harder if you're spread around. You should consider moving here."

"Joy." Sarcasm dripped and puddled from that one word as TJ tossed back the last of his drink. "Right. Wouldn't want an incomplete set."

Steve ignored TJ this time. "Ma'am, can we expect your announcement shortly?"

Elaine nodded. "Monday morning."

"I guess we're working for the rest of the weekend," Doug said.

"After you move?" Steve said, and luckily there weren't any obvious disagreements. "Great, I'll get the names of the security firms to you and we'll work with your team to install the equipment we need. Clark, right? If you give me a moment, we can discuss the details." He looked at TJ. "Can I have a word with you in private?"

"Sure." Shrugging, TJ stood and nodded toward the hall. They could talk in his room. About the only place other than the bathroom where they'd have actual privacy, he figured. And that only until someone decided they needed to check to see if he was getting as high as he wanted to just then.

Closing the door behind them when they got there, he turned to Steve expectantly.

"What exactly is your problem?" Steve asked point blank. "When I met you the first time, you sounded like an adult. Now, you're acting either like this doesn't concern you or like a spoiled child when I'm telling you that someone is trying to kill you. This isn't a game, TJ. Someone is out to kill you. Even if your brother is the target, getting to him through you would be pretty easy. So could you explain to me what the problem is so I can fix it before someone dies on my watch? "

TJ stared at him for a moment, then seemed to fold in on himself. He didn't think he'd ever been told by anyone that he actually behaved like an adult at all. And now he'd fucked it all up. "You can't fix my problem, Steve. I'm my biggest problem. Ask anyone. If it protects Doug, I'll do whatever you want, alright?"

"I'm asking _you_. You're as much a possible target as he is," Steve said. "Whatever assumptions you have made, they are yours and not mine. Whatever problems you think you had, they aren't as big as Hydra wanting to kill you. Remember those missiles, they were coming for you. You dismissed my warnings once, don't do it again."

"They'd just be doing everyone a favor," TJ muttered under his breath, forgetting Steve could probably hear him if his reaction to the club's music was any indication. "I'm not dismissing your warning. But, you're the only person on the planet who believes I could do anything important enough to make me a target. I promise you no one out there does. In case you haven't figured it out, yet, I'm the family screw-up, the one who can't behave as he should, who can't do anything that doesn't embarrass the rest of the family. Nana jokes that she's not allowed to talk to the press because she'd either too drunk or too honest. I'm not allowed to talk to anyone. That's the real reason Doug came over to talk to you tonight. He thought he was saving you because you're someone important to know and I can't be trusted to talk to anyone important to know. Those missiles were only coming at me because I happened to be standing next to Doug, that's all."

"No one's death is a favor," Steve answered. "I've seen too many people die, TJ, to believe that the world is better off when some innocent person dies. I would be doing this regardless of how important the people involved are. In fact, if I cared about importance, I'd be at the White House, but Ellis has his security and you don't." The more he talked, the more he knew that a security team would only be able to do so much when TJ held such fatalistic view of his own life. "Stay here with them, TJ. The Avengers will try to cover the people who aren't Ellis or an Air Force lieutenant. I'll be on your detail. You can show me just how well you can mix drinks. I'll fight for you to stay alive, but you need to do something in return."

"You can't be on my detail. God no! And people think _I_ cause problems." TJ shook his head. "You have no idea the problems that will cause us both. Captain America can't be on anyone's detail but the highest priority. To _them_. And that's not me. Mama will never hear of it and I'll never hear the end of the questioning. They'll want to know if I'm slipping you things from my stash and even if drugs can't affect you, just like alcohol, they'll never believe it. They'll try everything they can think of to rearrange things to their liking and set situations up just to spite you and prove you should be watching Doug instead of me. I...fuck, I appreciate the offer. But, no. You can't."

That was the last thing he needed. Captain America on his detail instead of Doug's? Their parents would be screaming about it from now until the end of time. And, somehow, it would all be TJ's fault. "I'm a suicidal addict who's never going to amount to anything," he stated boldly because Steve just didn't seem to get it. "Just...leave me to be cannon fodder the way everyone else would want. I'll stay here, if it's that important. But, God, don't make being here worse than it already will be."

"I got the suicidal part by a few things you have said, although I don't understand some of what you just said." Stash, slip, pronounced in a way that they were supposed to mean something. "This is exactly why I'm going to make sure you're all right. I'll make sure you're both protected, but I'm not a body guard. I won't be spending all of my time with you or Doug. We will coordinate with your mother's security detail, so we know where they are or what they are doing. That means that when they are at home in the evening, I can make sure you're safe when you go out, unless you're telling me that you're not going to go to the club anymore. Let me worry about the logistics." Thinking about it he couldn't refrain from smiling. "I'd love to see them say that Natasha isn't capable of protecting your brother."

TJ snorted. "Mama would be too worried about whether or not Dad was sleeping with her. And, Dad would be too worried about how easily he could get her into bed."

Taking a deep breath, he frowned. Steve confused him because he didn't react like pretty much anyone TJ knew, let alone the politicians that surrounded him. Steve _cared_ , even if in a generic, you're-my-assignment sort of way, and TJ didn't know how to deal with that. "But, no, I'm definitely not telling you I won't go to the club. I can't abandon the club like that." The Dome was the only good thing he had. "I have to go in at least two or three times a week, more if I can."

Although, that was possibly just for his own sanity.

"Great, then I can come with you and make Sam happy since I'm going out and not working all the time," he answered. "And, since I'm being such a good pal, you'll do something for me, like try to care just a little bit about whether you live and die. I would like self-defense classes more, but I can start small."

With that out of the way, he backtracked. "Natasha will be around, and if your father even tries to make a pass at her, he won't have to worry about Hydra. Natasha is a lot more lethal than she looks. But we can worry about these little details after I speak with your people. I should probably go and do that. I'll stay here for the rest of the night. We'll talk later if you want."

TJ nodded and waved absently at the room. "Sure. I'll be here. Steve-?" He stopped, words of apology that he never spoke to anyone anymore sticking in his throat. "I...never mind. We can talk later."

 

It was much later when everyone was asleep that Steve saw TJ again. Everyone was in their room while he and Natasha had picked different floors to protect. She was closer to their bedroom, because in her words 'you're lousy with politicians', which was correct. He didn't have time to play their games. Instead he sat in the living room with the big window and the front door in view. He could nap and wake up when there was a noise. The war had been instrumental in teaching him that lesson.

He woke up when he heard TJ enter the room and start playing the piano, something soft and melancholy. He said nothing until the music stopped as if TJ were deciding what to play next. "That was nice," he said from his dark corner. "Not knowing that there's someone with you is not as good. I'll have to teach you to pay attention more."

TJ nearly jumped out of his skin, but attempted to recover anyway. Maybe it was stupid, but he was beginning to care what Steve thought of him. One more person whose opinion mattered more than his own. "Who says I didn't know you were there?" he bluffed, turning back to the piano's keyboard. "Maybe I just didn't care if I woke anyone up?"

His fingers moved quietly through the opening chords of another piece. It took him a moment to recognize it himself. Fransisco Tárrega's _Lágrima_. "You going to sit up on watch all night?"

Steve chuckled. "You had no idea I was here." He stayed silent, listening to the notes for a moment. "You don't have to lie with me. Appearances don't mean anything to me, and since I'm not the diplomatic type, I have no problem telling you that I was sleeping until you came in. I learned to sleep sitting up during the war. Most noises will wake me up. What's keeping you up?"

"All I am is appearances. Thought you'd figured that out by now." The corner of TJ's mouth quirked up, but there was little humor in the expression.

What was keeping him up? Where did he start? "I never sleep well in this house," he said after a moment, still playing softly. "Hard to sleep when you don't feel like you can let your guard down. Ever." Except he kept talking to the man sitting in the dark, which wasn't protecting himself at all. Then again, wasn't that his biggest problem? He couldn't keep it all bottled in the way his family wanted? Always spewing his emotional issues all over their pristine reputations? "Used to do this at the Governor's Mansion as a kid. Get up in the middle of the night, when I couldn't sleep, and sneak downstairs to play the baby grand. Didn't have a secret service shadow then. Just a very exhausted nanny who slept far too deeply after I ran her ragged all day. Guess it became a habit."

"I can ask Natasha to come down here and I can come up upstairs," Steve offered. "I can sit outside of your room just as well as I sit in this chair. No one will get inside your room." He got up from the chair and went to sit on the stool next to TJ. There was barely room for two grown men, even more so when one of the men had his built and he stayed at the edge. "I don't know you well enough to know who you are. That's my fault. I shouldn't have left the way I did."

TJ shook his head, sliding to one side on the bench to make a little more room the way he used to with Doug when Doug still sat with him like this at the piano. "Shouldn't have left when? That night at the club? I was hardly part of your plans for the evening. Earlier tonight? You have a job to do, one that doesn't include babysitting. You have no obligation to me at all, Steve. You don't owe me anything. Better you don't get to know me, anyway. Can't be disappointed that way."

Sighing, he closed his eyes for a moment, fingers still moving effortlessly over the keys. "I don't mean to keep dumping on you," he said when he opened them again. It was possibly the closest he'd come to saying the words 'I'm sorry' in two years. "It was a bad night before I got shot at. Thank you for the offer, but you don't have to sit outside my room. The reasons I can't lower my guard," except around Steve, apparently, "aren't physical things you can fight. Just...life in politics."

"I meant at the club and I never said I owed you anything, but that I shouldn't have left without an explanation." He smiled a little. "It's funny, considering that I left because I didn't want you to be disappointed. Sam pointed out that I was staring and might be giving you the wrong impression. I didn't want you to think that it was more than it was and before you come up with some of your very annoying self-deprecating statements, it's not because you're not worth it, but because I don't have casual sex. I… don't have sex. I'm still waiting for that right person, you know? Maybe you don't know, sex comes so easily nowadays, but when the day comes for me, it will be with the right person."

"Disappointed? You heard everything before. Monogamy doesn't exactly run in my family." Once more, TJ shrugged his shoulders. He didn't know if he felt better or worse knowing that he hadn't been imagining the fact Steve had been staring. He just hadn't meant the implications of those stares. "But, you...seriously? You've never?" TJ couldn't imagine going without sex. Sex, drugs, and his piano were the only things that made his life bearable.

"You can't get drunk. You don't have sex. You don't like clubs." TJ huffed softly. "We have absolutely nothing in common. What do you do for a good time?"

"It wasn't about your family, though. I know why people go to clubs. It wasn't much different in my time, even if people think that we were all saints in the 30s and 40s," he said with a laugh. "My friends won't even say the word, but I lived near a Navy yard and where I lived was the center of gay New York. The St. George Hotel was where men met back then. With the war, women never knew if and when their men would return and they got lonely. The Army spent plenty to teach men how to use condoms to avoid STDs, because there was always local women, nurses and sometimes a fellow soldier to give you a helping hand."

He turned his head to look at TJ. "I grew up with all of that, but I’ve never considered any of that a good time. I was short, small, sick. Even in a city with very few men around, women wouldn't look at me. Then I got the serum and suddenly everyone was interested. I took as many pictures with mothers as I did with children. There were plenty of _accidental_ touches, my arms, my pecs, my abs, always by accident and with an apology, but I knew what they were. Being in places where people are judged by their appearance is not my way to have a good time. I'd rather be in a bar or a gym or a park, talking to people, getting to know them, who they truly are and not what they look like, and that's why I shouldn't have left. I had a chance to get to know you. I could have explained all of this at the club."

Finishing the piece, TJ started another automatically. He rarely censored himself when he played, just let his fingers choose the music. _L'un vers autre_ this time. "I grew up with Nana around. She's a few years younger than you, but no one listening to her would think the forties were devoid of sex. She was a showgirl in Vegas from the time she was like sixteen until her second husband took her and Mama away from that life."

He glanced at Steve before plowing ahead. "If you want to get my parents to cooperate, find a way to make it the way that will look best. Appearances are everything with them. They don't care what's on the inside as long as the outside conforms to their vision of how things should be. Doug isn't quite as bad. But, he'll do what he thinks will make Mama happy. So, as long as you have her, he'll follow. Nana will do what's best for Mama. If you need to, rely on Clark. He's been handling her for years. Me? I didn't inherit the gene for arguments. So, even if I hate it, I'll probably do it anyway. You don't have to try to get to know me to do the job. It's okay."

"I don't have to get to know anyone to do the job. You seem to think that this is my attempt to … ingratiate myself? handle you?" Steve chuckled. "Once you get to know me, you'll know that I don't do either. I don't really need their cooperation. We will set up security around them and if they don't like the way we do things, we can leave. That's the beauty of not working for anyone. We don't have to obey orders. It also gives us leverage. You'll be surprised what people will do when they realize that you're packing up and moving on, and we will. You aren't the only targets and I'm not willing to waste my team's time when there are other people we can help."

He nudged TJ with his shoulder. "Is it so hard to think that I want to know you? You look like my best friend, but inside you're someone else. I want to know that someone else, if you'd like the same."

TJ stopped playing and turned to look at Steve. "Yes." He said simply. "You'd be the first person who ever did, if you mean that." Ducking his head, he looked back down at his fingers on the keys. "And, yes, I'd like it."

"I never say what I don't mean," Steve reassured him, before covering TJ's hand with his. "We'll have plenty of chances. Why don't you get some sleep, TJ? Stay here if you want. You can take the couch and we can talk until you fall asleep." He let go. "Unless you want to keep playing. That's fine too, but if you want to sleep, I'll stand guard over you."

TJ chuckled as he reluctantly stood up next to the piano. He knew his limit before one of his family woke up and came down to tell him to shut up. "Oh, now that would be a pretty picture for Mama in the morning. I'd never hear the end of it. No, I'll be fine in my own room. Like I said, you can't guard me from the real dangers in this house. There's nothing physical to hit or block with your shield. Good-night, Steve."

* * *

The first few days after the attack went pretty well. They got extra security hired, all former Navy SEALs, they worked with the Secret Service to create a schedule for everyone, they installed security measures around the house. They helped Doug, TJ and Susan move in. All their cars were brought to the house as well and checked for any sign of tampering. Steve thought that just maybe this wouldn't go as badly as TJ expected, and then it happen. The announcement.

In the past ten days since the announcement, they had already seven rallies in seven different cities. He'd listen to arguments about who should be on stage, what clothes to wear, what lipstick got the best response, what haircuts seemed more crowd friendly. No one seemed worried about the crazy megalomaniacs with aspirations of world domination who wanted to kill them.

On the plus side, while they were waiting for the rallies or during the overnight stays, they were able to tuck everyone into a hotel room with plenty of security. It gave Steve time to spend with Sam, Natasha and Clint. They were the ones following the campaign since the Hulk would do as much damage as he would help and the Hammonds had vetoed Tony since Iron Man would steal their thunder.

They had finished for the night and they were currently occupying a full floor of a small hotel in North Carolina. Today had been the first day that Bud Hammond had been on stage with his ex-wife. People here really seemed to love him. It made Bud happy and more willing to listen to directions, which meant that for the first time he had agreed to stay at the hotel without an argument.

They had already had their food delivered and weren't planning on doing much for the evening when the knock on the door cut through the gentle bantering happening as they ate. Steve went to open the door, smiling when he saw TJ there. "Hi, tired of the politics?" There might have been a more diplomatic approach, but Steve didn't believe in wasting time. He opened the door further. "Come on in. We ordered Chinese and we have extra." The extra consisted of the three extra orders he always got because one meal would keep him full for an hour at best.

"Hey," TJ smiled as he stepped into the room, hoping the uncertainty didn't show. "They'll be talking strategy all night and I'm…not needed for that." And usually considered in the way. It had been a debate in his head for a good twenty minutes, the advisability of coming here. But, he'd been dismissed from the family as soon as they got to the hotel and holed up in his mother's suite to plan for the next day. Nana had simply invited herself in as she often did, even if she wasn't going to be contributing much beyond an unvarnished opinion of everyone. TJ...TJ hadn't really wanted to be there anyway, right? He just didn't feel up to dealing with spending time in his suite alone, either. He shrugged. "I don't mean to intrude."

"You're not intruding," Sam threw out, moving over to make room for TJ to sit between him and Steve. "There's three of us men to one of her. We could use the back-up."

"Flattery, Sam. Flattery." Natasha smirked and reached around Clint to pass TJ a pair of chopsticks.

Bemused at the easy way they accommodated his sudden arrival, TJ shook his head. "I think I'm going to cut my losses and be Switzerland."

"There will be no fighting here. We're all too lethal," Steve said with a grin. "Your parents couldn't afford the damage."

"It's why we keep Tony around," Clint put in.

Steve chuckled as he sat down. "Here, join me. Any of those three containers you can have. We have soda, water and beer. Take whatever you want. We were discussing not politics." They had been talking Hydra, but they were flexible. "So World Cup. Soccer wasn't even something we considered when I was younger."

"Don't look at me," TJ said with a laugh, loosening his tie a bit. "Sex is the only contact sport that's ever held any interest. Only reason I go to matches in any sport is to watch hot men get sweaty or it's a family appearance. I am living proof you can sit through every rugby match a team plays in a season for four seasons and know nothing about the sport itself."

Steve ignored all talk of sex, although he could see the looks from all of his friends. It was like they thought that he'd never heard of the word. "How is that even possible? You can figure out most rules in a few minutes of play in any sport. Even if you don't care, just watching is enough."

"Not everyone has your memory," Clint answered.

"The only thing I was watching was Joshua Hamilton's bulging biceps and tight ass, that's how." TJ smirked, picking up a carton and picking at it for a moment. "I was sixteen, full of raging hormones, and going to hell anyway. Figured I might as well ogle the scenery while I could."

"Save the groping for the locker room?" Sam asked, grinning.

TJ heaved a wistful sigh. "He was straight, unfortunately. And his parents were Republican."

"An unforgivable sin," Clint said.

"Of course," TJ answered

Steve shook his head. "I don't know what's worse, that the political party matters or that it's all right to have sex- no, that it's all right to be groping each other at sixteen." He had considered Bucky a ladies' man, but even he hadn't been so forward when they were that young. Their mothers would have had something to say if they had. "It's all about practice with your generation, isn't it?" he asked, looking at Natasha. "None of you ever talk about love."

"Love is a luxury I can't afford in my line of work," she replied simply.

"Love is a faerietale that doesn't exist anyway," TJ said. "It's something for someone to use to get what they want from you, through either creating that illusion or threatening to break it. It's never real in the end."

Steve looked between Natasha and Clint. He hadn't missed the ever-present necklace with the arrow. "Or maybe everyone is so jaded and so afraid that it's easier to consider love a weakness, but you're all lying to yourself. Love exist, love is still here. Love doesn't have to be sex or relationships. Love means opening up to yourself. Look at us," he said. "We met under the worst circumstances and now we live at Tony's and we're a family. Look at me and Bucky. He was brainwashed and kept on ice for decades, but he remembered me on that helicarrier. He saved me." He turned to TJ. "Real love, from parents, friends or partners, doesn't end. It survives everything. It even survives our own inability to accept that there's too much red on our ledger. It's still there, whether we want to admit it or not."

When TJ only swallowed and looked away, Sam spoke up. "I loved my partner. My wingman in the Air Force," he clarified for TJ's sake. "Man was like a brother to me. Was best man at his wedding, godfather to his kids, just like he would have been for me if I'd found me a girl before he was killed. If there's one thing I've learned since getting out of the service, though, it's that out there in the rest of the world, that kind of thing is rare these days. There are a lot of people in the civilian world who have never felt it. Not from lovers or parents or friends. The last few generations have put an increasing emphasis on getting what you want and putting yourself and your goals first. People and society last. Seems like, unless you're in a situation that forces you to trust other people in some capacity, like with this team, people today really don't have the chance to experience what you had with Bucky or what I had with Riley, let alone anything like romantic love. We don't know how to recognize the real thing anymore."

"It doesn't mean that it doesn't exist, just that you have to fight a little harder to find it," Steve pointed out. "It's… sad how much this world has lost in the past seventy years, how much people take for granted and miss the important things in life." He reached into TJ's container to take some of the pork fried rice to mix it up with his lo mein. "And you need better friends, some who don't care about appearances or what your parents think. You can hang out with us. You might get shot at, but we don't care about appearances."

That startled a laugh out of TJ. "I'm really more of a lover than a fighter," he said with a smirk. On impulse, he reached over to steal a bite of Steve's lo mein. "But, getting shot at would be less boring than politics, I suppose."

"There's a price, you know." Sam grinned even when he saw TJ's smile fade. "Yeah, you gotta find a way to make that club of yours more Super Soldier friendly so we can all hang out some more there. That V.I.P. room is sick."

"Is that all?" The smile returned as TJ turned to eye Steve. "I may be able to think of something."

Steve laughed. "I don't remember asking for a price and that room is good enough for my hearing." He scooped up some of the lo mein and put it in TJ's container, before taking some of the rice and putting it in his. "More importantly, we need to know what you like when it comes to food so we can put in orders for you. Each night one of us gets to pick what we order."

"And when it's Steve's night, it's burgers, hot dogs and fries in large quantities and with enough cholesterol to kill a normal person," Clint murmured.

"I never suggested that you should keep up with me," Steve answered.

"It's a matter of pride with Hawkeye. He's used to having the biggest mouth in the room." Natasha smirked, but didn't try to stab Clint's hand with her chopsticks when he stole her wanton in retaliation.

"Do you even have to worry about cholesterol or calories or anything else that keep those of us watching our girlish figures up at night?" TJ asked Steve, still trying to sort out what this whole super soldier thing really meant beyond the ability to survive using your body to block missile strikes.

"Oh sure, I try to limit myself to four containers of Chinese food per night, but I'm nice and I'm sharing," he said, winking at TJ. "Seriously, though, I don't think so. I'm hungry, I eat. I stopped having my blood checked during the war. I'm sure both S.H.I.E.L.D. and the hospital have run tests while I was unconscious, but since no one can really figure out the formula, I see no point in checking or worrying. I know I heal faster, there's no traces of any of the scars I got from the Hydra battle." He didn't mention that the injuries came from Bucky's fist or gun mostly. "Okay, enough about me. Someone pick what we're watching tonight, but no reality TV. That's not educational, that's mental torture."

"And no spy thrillers," Sam added. "I feel like I still have never seen _Golden Eye_ after listening to Blondie and Red here pick it apart last night. I'm going to have to rent it when I get home."

"Her technique was all wrong. Snapping the neck is a cleaner kill than suffocation and you get more leverage from lower on the leg."

"No spy movies,” Sam repeated

"If none of you look at the guide to see what the options are, you'll be arguing all night and watching nothing," TJ pointed out, taking another bite.

"That's half the fun," Clint answered with a grin, but got up and turned on the TV. "Unless Tony is around, and then his commentaries are more entertaining than the movies."

"That's because Tony can't shut up," Steve pointed out, "but he is pretty amusing." At least now that he understood Tony's wit.

"Oh look, Showtime is doing reruns of Queer as Folks and the L Word. Should we see what Steve thinks of that," Clint said, smiling at Natasha. "TJ, any preferences?"

"Between those two? None. I've only watched one or two episodes of each when it was a storyline someone thought would be important enough I might get asked about it in an interview or something." TJ shrugged. Contrary to popular belief, being gay didn't mean he was automatically a fan of the 'gay' shows. But, he'd had to play to that image anyway. "Was that _Kiss Me, Kate_ on TCM?"

"Gasp, shock, surprise-" Clint looked around. "Hey, someone has to make up for the lack of Tony." He leaned closer. "This is your secret, isn't it?" he asked TJ. "You're really as boring as he is," he said, pointing at Steve. Clint shook his head. "I knew that all that fun and games had to be for the press."

Steve hid a smile behind his bottle of dark beer. When he put it down, he clapped TJ's back. "Aren't you sorry you came here now? They will tease you mercilessly." He thought that it was also very good that someone treated TJ like anyone else and not the 'son of'. "You'll also never watch anything that they deem boring."

"Sobbing into my lo mein with regret," TJ snarked, but he was clearly fighting a smile. "And you try watching anything when literally every television in the house is tuned to some news network twenty-four seven and someone screams like you've murdered their child if you try to change one. Only quietly and with a lecture as to why the news is more important."

"Technically, that's my lo mein," Steve put in.

"Well, I'm voting for Queer as Folk," Natasha stated. "They're still in the early seasons and I'm looking forward to telling Tony all about it later."

"Tasha picks, although why we're not watching women getting it on… oh wait, Tasha picked," Clint said, but he was joking.

Steve rolled his eyes when Clint put on Showtime, apparently in the middle of two men having sex. "Right, I couldn't possibly know that gay men have sex. One day, you will learn that I'm ninety-five, not dead." He looked at TJ for a moment, like they were sharing a secret, but maybe they did, considering the discussion from the other night.

He put the empty container in the trash before reaching for a new container. Of course by the time he returned to the couch, there had been a shift with Clint giving up his chair and plucking himself at one end of the couch. "Did you need a better look, Clint?" he asked innocently as he sat down and found TJ a lot closer.

Clint choked his soda. "What? No, that's not… I just want to be comfortable."

"By getting a better view of the two men currently having sex on the big screen. Yes, I can understand that," Steve said.

"Doing is always better than watching," TJ said evenly, focus split between poking at the food he was still working on slowly and the sudden warmth as Steve was forced to sit closer to him with Clint's added presence on the couch.

Natasha kept watching and then said with a bored tone, "Don't men fantasize about anal sex like some trophy from their women? If it's so scary to receive, seems that would mean women must be the stronger."

TJ choked on his laughter as he stared at Natasha. "Remind me to stay on your good side in case I ever need to call someone in as back-up in one of our family arguments."

"Women kept a country going while men were fighting a war. There's no question that they are stronger," Steve said. "They have the strength that counts: morality, maternal instincts, sense of sacrifice and courage to do anything for the people they love. Very few men come close to any of that." He wasn't sure many women today had that strength. TJ's mother seemed to be lacking some of those quality.

"You come from a very different world than the one you're in now." TJ shook his head. "I can't think of anyone I know, man or woman, who has any of that, except maybe you."

"Look around you. Maybe not the maternal instincts, but every one of the people in this room has all of those traits, even when they hide them," Steve said, smiling at his friends. "Tony, Bruce, Rhodey, I've met plenty of people with those traits."

"Is this when we hug and sing Kumbaya?" Clint asked. "Natasha, hug him please so he shuts up."

Steve chuckled. "Fine, I'll let you watch the naked men since you're so interested." He leaned closer to TJ. "Find better friends. They exist." He leaned back and kept eating. He'd found his friends and maybe TJ would be lucky enough to find them too.

* * *

They were finally back in DC. A month had passed since the original attack and all of their targets were still alive. Fury had found out that a few Hydra agents that seemed to be involved with this mission had been killed. Neither one of them mention the names Winter Soldier or Bucky Barnes, but the M.O. was too much like his for either one to deny that it was him. Steve was seeing this like a positive thing. Bucky might not be ready to talk to him, but at least he was helping, even if Steve would have preferred to have captured them alive.

The break from the campaign was a welcomed one. Steve was getting tired of the hotel rooms even if it was slightly easier to keep the family together and protected. Once they were back in DC, everyone had their own lives that meant plenty of running around.

Steve had promised TJ that they could go to the club. Sam, Natasha and Clint were expected to meet them there, not because Steve needed the back-up, but because they all wanted to see this VIP lounge (although the back-up was a nice side effect). They were getting ready to go when he got a call from Sharon Carter.

"Long time, no see, neighbor," he said. "What can I do for you?"

"Remember my aunt?"

"The insomniac?" Steve asked.

"Her name is Peggy. You know her as Peggy Carter. She… she's dying, Steve. She's been asking for you. Could you-"

"I'll be right over," Steve said before she could ask. He called Sam, telling him the change of plans and then found TJ. "Listen, a friend of mine is dying. I have to go see her. You can come with me and Sam is going to pick you up there if I can't leave."

"The car just arrived," TJ replied, voice more calm then he felt. Mortality wasn't something he dealt with except when trying to shorten his own. But, this didn't seem like something it would be proper to refuse. "I can call the club from the road. They've gone this long without me. They can manage another two or three hours. If they can't, they don't deserve to be working for me."

"You didn't have to do that. I can drive," he said, even if tonight, he appreciated the fact that he didn't have to. "Let's see what happens and then we can call Sam."

They got into the car and Steve gave the driver the address to Peggy's brownstone. When they got there, Peggy's grandson let them in. Steve recognized him from the pictures that Peggy had shown him.

"She's in the bedroom. She's waiting for you," he told Steve.

The family was all here, in the living room. One of the downstairs room had been changed into a bedroom for Peggy so that she didn't have to use the stairs. Steve nodded at Sharon from a distance. "Stay here," he told TJ, before walking to the bedroom, leaving the door open.

"Peggy," he said softly as he took the seat by her bed. Steve covered her hand with his. "I'm here."

"Steve. You came," she said weakly.

"Of course, I came. I would never disappoint my favorite girl." How many times had they had this conversation? Too many and yet this felt different, final.

"I'm dying, Steve."

"Don't say it," Steve answered.

"But it's true. I waited for you to come," she said. "I wanted to talk to you one last time, but it's time to let go. It's time for you to let go." She squeezed his fingers. "I lived a long and good life, but I have one regret. Can you guess what is it?"

Steve tried to smile as he shook his head. "You have a wonderful family. I can't even imagine."

Her laugh turned into a cough. "I do have a wonderful family, but I never taught you to dance."

He leaned forward and lowered his voice. "Do you want to know a secret? I still haven't learned, but we can fix that. Give me a moment." He got up and went to the other room. "Can someone put some Glenn Miller on, anything slow, anything." He went back to the bedroom and waited until he heard the music.

"You're going to teach me right now." He pulled the covers off, before he picked her up in his arms. She was so light and fragile as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Steve carried her to the living room where she'd be able to hear the music. Steve swayed to the music gently, careful not to move her too much. She looked up at him and smiled while he was barely holding it together. He hadn't cried since Bucky's death and now the sting in his eyes was back again. 

"It took me a while, but I finally got that dance with you," she whispered.

"My first dance couldn't have been with anyone else." He kissed her forehead. "I love you, Peggy."

"You won't forget me, will you?"

Steve shook his head. "Never. I'll love you forever."

She reached for his face and brushed his lips with her fingers. "Find someone else to love. Be happy just like I was. I'm tired, Steve. I think … I think it's time. I need to say goodbye to my family."

Steve couldn't do more than nod. She had a large family all around her, while he had so few people, but he couldn't deny her this. He took her back to her room and placed her back on the bed. He leaned down and kissed her cheek. "Goodbye, Peggy."

"Goodbye, Steve."

He left before he could spill any tears, but he didn't make it far. Sharon stopped him before he could reach the door. "Thank you for calling me."

"No, thank you for coming. She's been in pain, but she's been fighting, because she wanted to see you. It means a lot to her," she said. "I'm sorry for-"

Steve his head. "It's done. Will you call me when she-"

"I will. She's made very specific arrangements about her funeral. I'll email you all the information," she said.

"Thanks… I … I need to go, I'm working."

"I understand. Bye, Steve," Sharon said.

"Bye." He went straight for the door, walking outside. He made it two steps before sitting down. He buried his fingers in his hair as he looked down and took deep breaths, trying not to cry. Peggy was dying. She was inside with her family just like she wanted and Steve was out here, losing one of the two friends left from a life no one else remembered. He brought a hand to his eyes, wiping them furiously. He needed to pull himself together.

TJ had tried to stay off to the side, out of anyone's way and focus. This...this didn't seem like someplace that needed _TJ Hammond_ and all that entailed intruding any more than his presence already did. And he felt like an intruder watching Steve dance with Peggy Carter. It felt too private, too personal for him to witness.

It also broke his heart, what was left of it.

He watched Steve take her back and stood silently while the other man made his way outside. But, TJ didn't follow immediately. He took the time to send a few texts, first. One to the club to give them Sam, Natasha, and Clint's names for the line and the V.I.P. Room in case they still wanted to show. And then one to the three Avengers themselves to let them know the change of plans.

When he finally followed after Steve, he squatted down next to the other man and put a hand on his shoulder. "Steve?" TJ didn't really know what he was doing. This was more Doug's area of expertise, taking care of people. Or, at least, getting things done, which was closer to taking care of someone than TJ ever got. But, he felt an inexplicable need to _try_. For Steve. Without thinking, he brushed gently at the tears Steve's impatient swipe missed. "Let me get you out of here, okay?"

"I'm-" He shook his head as he tried to focus on this, on his mission. It was easier, less painful. "I'm sorry. You shouldn't be out here in the open. Let's get you into the car and to the club." He stood up, but couldn't stop from looking back at the closed front door. He didn't belong in there, just like he didn't belong in this century, and yet here he was. 

"Don't apologize." Standing, TJ brushed at his clothes, but it was more something to do to cover his own confusion than because of any real dust or dirt on them. When he looked up, the pain in Steve's entire expression broke his heart all over again and he reached out to take Steve's hand before leading the other man back to the car.

The directions he gave the driver once they got there weren't to The Dome, however.

"I'm taking you to my place," he said, turning to look at the man beside him. "I've already arranged everything. So, don't bother arguing. Sam will come by to check on things later, if you want the back-up. But, I don't think you want to be at the club right now and Mama's place is the last place anyone should be at a time like this. Natasha and Clint will go back there. And, I will be safe enough at home for one night with you there and, maybe, Sam. Okay?"

"You didn't have to do that, but thank you." He remembered watching soldiers being shell shocked during the war. He was pretty sure that this was what it felt like. He could barely concentrate, although he knew he had to. TJ was still his primary objective, or at least he should have been, but he kept thinking about Peggy. "There was a time when I thought she was going to be the one. She knew me, before the serum and didn't care. We were going to dance." His voice cracked as he closed his eyes tight. "This is when I wish I could get drunk."

"Even if you can't, you can still drink. It'll help psychologically, as much as anything can." TJ was so out of his depth. He didn't even know if he was doing this right, just flying by the seat of his pants and making things up as he went along. Possibly, he should have let go of Steve's hand when they got into the car. And, he did, for a moment when they were literally getting in. But, he reached over to lace his fingers with Steve's again when they were settled. Just a small bastion of physical comfort.

Biting his lip, he looked at Steve and drew a complete blank on anything comforting to say.

It was strange to be holding hands with TJ. Steve didn't hold hands, but right now, it felt like a lifeline, feeling someone close, even if TJ couldn't possibly understand what Peggy had meant to him for so long. Steve opened his eyes and looked at TJ. "You said that people don't love, but they do and it survives age and death, and when the other person dies, it rips something inside you, something that has grown for decades and that's such an intrinsic part of you that you feel something is missing inside." He gave TJ a small smile. "Despite that, I wouldn't give up what I had with Peggy. It doesn't matter that it never went as far as we had hoped or that we were separated by events. My life is better because she was in it, and I hope that I did the same for her."

"I might have oversold that part," TJ said, looking away, uncomfortable intruding upon Steve's private pain that still filled blue eyes TJ had come to think of as kind and laughing. Or, maybe it was the other emotion there that made TJ uncomfortable, the love that reminded TJ too much of his own losses. Although, saying he could understand that ripping inside probably wouldn't go over well in light of the comparison between something like death and something as petty as betrayal.

The Carter house actually wasn't too far from TJ's apartment. After dismissing the car for the night, he led Steve upstairs to the small apartment. It wasn't as spacious as what most people would imagine for a Hammond, he was sure. Hard to afford spacious when you spent as much on drugs as TJ had in the past...still did occasionally. But, it was comfortable and stylish, plush couch squeezed into the space along with his upright piano.

"Sit," he ordered gently, waving toward the couch while he took off his jacket and tie. He tossed those over the back of one of the chairs at the bar/island that separated the living space from the small kitchen. While he unbuttoned the top few buttons of his shirt and rolled up his sleeves, he looked through the bottles under the bar for the whiskey he remembered being there a month ago when he'd last been in his place and pulled two tumblers off the shelf above the counter. "Here." He took one to Steve, keeping one to nurse himself. "Won't get you drunk, but the idea of it helps."

Steve took the glass and when his fingers brushed against TJ's, he looked up and met TJ's eyes. "Thank you. I… I'm sorry for ruining your night. Sam can take you there if you want. They are more than capable to keep you safe. I'm probably not the best of company at the moment." Steve didn't like to push his problems onto others. He kept his emotional wounds tightly wrapped so that no one could see them, not even the other Avengers. Bucky would have known without him having to say anything, but Bucky wasn't here, no matter how much he wanted him around.

"Steve, stop it. I'm TJ Fucking Hammond. If I wanted to be at the club instead of here with you," he said with a smile, "I would be." He took a sip of his drink and moved to sit on the piano bench fingers moving absently over the keys for want of knowing what else to do. "I'm also rather an expert at being bad company. So, you're not scaring me off that way, either. We don't have to talk. But...I know a little about what it feels like when it seems the entire world is falling apart around you...and how bad it is to go through it alone."

Steve smiled a little. "I wasn't trying to scare you. I was giving you the chance to do what you want, what you should be doing. I'm supposed to guard you. You're not supposed to change your life to suit my problems, so thank you. It's just easier if you accept the apology." He sipped on the whiskey, staring at TJ. "I also think you're a lot more scared of talking than I am. Talking is… it's the only way I can connect anymore. I haven't lived the same type of life. If I don't talk, no one will understand."

His head lolled back. "I never even danced. Peggy said that she'd teach me, but we never got around to it. Being buried in ice cuts down on the things you do. Today was as close as I ever got to dancing. How do people understand what my life is if I don't talk? Do you like to dance? You have a club, you must like it."

"That's not why I have the club. But, yeah, I like to dance when I have the chance to do it." He shrugged. "Don't have much of a chance, though. Running a club and restaurant isn't like going to one. And parties at Mama's I'm usually here." He nodded to the keyboard he was playing.

"Your experiences aren't as different as you might think, though. Not all of them. Remember when you were telling me about people touching you after the serum? Is that really all that different from what happens to me at the club? You were unhappy being a trained monkey performing from what history says. That's all my life has been, from the time I was a kid. And you're not the only one who feels out of place." TJ sighed. "I don't mean to say we're the same or demean what you feel. Just...maybe there are people who understand a little more than you think."

"I wasn't unhappy with what I was doing." He smiled again. "Peggy called me that, a trained monkey. I didn't mind helping the country, even if it was performing. I minded when they wouldn't use me to save people from my neighborhood, men I'd known since I was young, Bucky, other acquaintances. That's when I decided that between doing what I was ordered and doing what was right, I'd always do what was right."

Steve downed the whiskey and put the glass down, before he stood up and reached the piano. "Do you know something I've learned? No matter how long you live, life is too short not to take advantage of the occasions you do get." He put a hand on TJ's shoulder. "You don't have a chance to dance and I've never danced, so let's. Put something on."

TJ looked up, surprised. But after a brief hesitation, he nodded and stood up. Moving to a small cabinet across from the couch, he took out his phone and pulled up the playlist he kept for Nana, all show tunes and old standards. He queued up several of the slower numbers, since there wasn't much room for anything too energetic, and then put the phone in the dock on top of the cabinet.

Turning back around, held out his hand to Steve. "May I have this dance?" Smirking, he added, "My lead, I think."

"I never thought that anyone would tell me that they were leading," he said with a soft smile, but he took TJ's hand. This wasn't about forgetting. Steve couldn't forget that Peggy was dying, but it was about living, about accepting that he should try and do the 'normal' things, whatever normal was.

He put his free arm around TJ's shoulder, fingers spread over his neck. It wasn't what people would consider proper dancing, but he was hardly the blushing girl, or even the non-blushing woman. "Why don't you dance?" He wasn't even sure if he was talking about dancing anymore, but generally enjoying life. "You could have anything you want, could do anything, but you're so unhappy, so bitter. Don't be, because life really is too short."

"I can't though. Not really." With his arm around Steve's waist, hand at the small of his back, TJ 'led' them through something that was half a waltz and half just the two of them swaying to the soft music. "Being a Hammond...there are expectations and responsibilities. The last thing I want to do is spend the next two years campaigning, but my not being with them could cost Mama her nomination. The Dome is the best thing I've ever done and because it's not politics my family considers me a failure. Because I can't handle life in politics without resorting to drugs or sex, I'm too weak. Because I can't bottle up my emotions like they do, I'm not mature enough. I can't escape my family and they won't let me be anything else."

Steve stared, because that was probably the most TJ had volunteered. The information usually came in the forms of jabs or self-deprecating humor, but never direct form. "The two aren't mutually exclusive. You can enjoy life and uphold your responsibilities. The happy moments are few and fleeting, but that doesn't mean that you should give up, because they are so hard to achieve."

In a way, it was much easier to focus on what the future should be like than think about the present. "Why do you need drugs? Or sex? You make it sound like they are the same thing, something to do because you want to… escape, but you can't escape life. You have to face it. It's the only way that you can live on your own terms and not let people impose what they want."

"I don't even know what my own terms are," TJ said quietly. "When you were a little kid, did you have ideas as to what you wanted to be when you grew up? A soldier or a doctor or an artist or whatever?"

He thought for a moment and shook his head. "Alive, that's what I wanted to be. I was so sick when I was little and so many people died of illnesses, that alive was the only thing I could picture. A family, a small apartment somewhere, with a wife and children, living next door to Bucky and his family, and then the war started, and the dreams changed. They went back to fighting and surviving. Dreams are simpler when people have less."

Steve smiled thinking back. "When my mother died, Bucky convinced me to live with his family, but it was very crowded. We moved out together. A one room apartment for two grown men and we could barely afford that, not when I couldn't always work in the winter. Fun was sitting in the bed that was also a couch, talking or listening to the radio. I'd draw. We'd save our money for games or Luna Park and yes for the Stark Expo. I guess I didn't want to be anything. I wanted to be happy, safe, alive. Take your pick."

"The first time I can remember being asked, I don't even remember what I said. I was being prepped for a family interview and whatever I said wasn't good enough. So I was told what my response should be." TJ had to look away. Steve had been right. He was terrified of talking because he was afraid of how much he would reveal, how much of the worthless man would be seen underneath the A-lister bravado. "Even coming out wasn't my idea. There was a whole family discussion about what it would do to the polls after I was seen kissing another boy. Every choice has been made for me from the time I was born until now, when I'm over thirty years old and don't know if I really want the things I think I do, or if I just want what they don't."

"That's a sad way to live life," Steve answered. "I've never been good at doing what they told me. I know, it doesn't go with the image, but I disobeyed orders to go behind enemy line and rescue my friends," he said, chuckling. "Peggy helped me, got Howard Stark to give us a ride on his plane. It was the first real mission. Everyone said it was going to be a suicide mission, but Peggy believed in me and I was too stubborn not to try and save Bucky." He tilted his eyes and looked at TJ. "Tell me one thing that you'd like to do right now. One thing that it isn't tied with the campaign. Anything at all?"

TJ looked back up at Steve with uncertainty written all over his face, eyes wide and lower lip trapped between his teeth. But he wasn't as brave as the man dancing with him. He couldn't ask for what he really wanted. "This. I want to do this. Dance, to try to be here for you tonight the way no one was for me. I want to see if your version of friendship can make a person happy, like I've never been."

Steve smiled. "I'll share a secret with you. We're already dancing and you're already here for me, and we're already doing the friendship thing. You've done it every time you've shown up in our hotel room, watching movies and shows you didn't want to watch, because the whole point of sitting around in front of the TV isn't to watch something, but to be with friends. Tell me something you aren't doing that you want to be doing. There has to be something, anything, no matter how trivial or inconsequential: a walk in the park, going swimming, bungee jumping. Anything."

 _I want to see that smile all the time._ Blinking at the thought, TJ cursed inwardly. He couldn't- It could only be a disaster. But, it was already too late and he knew it. He was so screwed. "I want to go back to Grandpa Hammond's farm," he said, still keeping back the one thing he wanted more with each moment he spent in Steve's company because that way led to nothing but pain and regret, especially tonight. "Get out of the city and off the campaign trail, and just be TJ, instead of Thomas Hammond, for a few days...or weeks."

"Can't do that, but you can have tonight. Put on something normal, jeans, tee and a jacket. We'll go get my bike and we'll drive to Virginia. You'll be surprised how easily you can find a field, stars. We'll take the alcohol with us in case we don't find any. Go on, change your clothes and we can go." Enjoying the simple things would be a better way to spend his time than sitting and wallowing.

"Steve. Tonight...it's not supposed to be about me." TJ shook his head, unable to believe the man in front of him. "I'm not the one hurting or in need. Not tonight." Not any more than usual, at least. "Are you sure this is what you want to do? We don't have to, not for me."

Steve shrugged. "Staying here isn't going to change the fact that she's dying, is it? We might as well do something you want to do. I would still bring you to the club if that's what you want. There's nothing either one of us can do to make things better with Peggy and I've learned not to fight the inevitable long ago. Let's do something that makes you happy instead. You tell me what."

The club.

His answer should have been the club.

Which, of course, is why TJ smiled and said, "Let's go for a ride. Give me five minutes to change into something _casual_. I always wear normal clothes. But, the campaign trail isn't fond of casual." He didn't move right away, though. It took him a minute to remind his body it needed to move in order to change. When he did, he stepped back immediately, clearing his throat before he turned to turn off the music. "I just...I'll just be a few minutes."

"Okay." Steve wasn't idle. He used the time to notify Sam and the others, because he wouldn't just go off the grid. Sam seemed to understand better than anyone that doing something was a lot better than sitting around and crying. Soldiers learned not to. He called them a cab and when TJ returned, they were able to grab a few bottles and leave.

At home, he had to go upstairs to grab a second helmet and a sheet. On impulse, he grabbed some food. He had some fruit and cheese, some bread. He put everything in a backpack and then went back down. "All right, you hold on to this and put your helmet on." He had his shield hooked in front of the bike and out of the way.

They drove South without a real destination. Steve stayed off of the highways and used back roads until he found a field that went from the road to a little river. He could see a house and a barn at a distance, but the property was big and he doubted that anyone would bother them. He drove the bike through the grass and parked it near the rivulet. 

Steve unhooked the shield as he got off, because that was the only thing he really needed. "There's a sheet in the backpack and food to go with the bottles we got at your house. We can use it or not, whatever makes you happy," he teased.

"Jerk." TJ grinned and swatted ineffectually at Steve's arm as he got off the bike and took the helmet off. Before he moved any further, he ran a hand through his hair, working loose the deplorable helmet-hair he was sure he was now sporting. When he was satisfied it looked as good as it was going to get, he opened the backpack and pulled out the sheet to spread it on the ground.

"I don't think I've been on a picnic since I was fourteen and spending the summer at the farm," he said, putting the backpack down and sprawling out on the sheet before settling on his back, arms crossed under his head. TJ looked up, trying to remember what he'd learned about constellations so many years ago. Turning his head, he smiled lazily at Steve. "You going to join me?"

Steve had frozen up. One simple word and suddenly he was standing in some alley with Bucky right there, with that same grin TJ was sporting, calling him a jerk or a punk. The question brought him back to the present and he smiled again as he lay down the sheet, staring up. "For a rich man, you've missed a lot." He rolled to his side and propped himself on one elbow. "This wasn't what you were going to say. When I asked you what would make you happy you were thinking of something else, and this was your back-up." He didn't read minds, but the body gave enough clues that were much easier to pick up when you had enhanced senses. "It's a pretty good back-up, but if you ever want to do whatever it was, then you let me know."

TJ opened his mouth, but caught himself before he could speak the words he knew would end this friendship before it had any real chance to get off the ground. For once in his life, he was going to keep his distance. Shaking his head instead, he smiled. "It's not for tonight. Maybe some other time." Reaching up, he patted Steve's cheek, unconsciously letting his fingers linger before brushing down Steve's cheek as he pulled away. "This is more than enough, a few hours to breathe."

Steve was used to pushing, but right now this felt like an enormous step in trust and he held back. "From a family of politicians, I half expected a false denial. I'm glad you didn't." The touch was another surprise. He'd had plenty of women touch him. Bucky would have too, but Bucky's touches had always been different, manly, brotherly, just different from the way TJ was touching him now, and Sam's words came back to him. "Do you-" _Want to do the horizontal tango with me?_ Steve couldn't quite get himself to say those words, but he could go for a more direct route. "Do you want to have sex with me? Because you know I-" He shook his head and sighed. "You've seen me and Peggy. I still love her no matter what happened. Sex and love are too much the same for me."

"I'm not a politician and I've never been very good about keeping my emotions hidden. One of my greatest failings." As evidenced by the fact he couldn't seem to keep his distance from Steve.

TJ put both hands under his head again. "I know how you feel about it." Swallowing he turned his head away. Falling for straight men who could never return his feelings certainly seemed to be his impossible lot. "I wasn't going to ask you for sex."

Steve stared and then he just laughed, like he didn't think it was possible tonight. "TJ, I didn't think that you were going to ask for sex. I don't think any sane person would say 'oh yes, I'm unhappy, so will you have sex with me?' And maybe people do that now, I don't know, but I didn’t you were going to and even if you had asked, I'm not exactly the poor defenseless soul that wouldn't know what to do."

He cupped TJ's cheek and turned his head so they could look at each other. "Were you going to ask me for sex? Is that why you look like I just kicked your puppy? Which I would never do." He shook his head. "But no, that wasn't it, was it? Because you just said you wouldn't, and you know what, it doesn't matter, because I'm not going to push you to tell me." Steve smiled again. "I wasn't trying to connect the two things, although I can see why it looks that way. I was… I was worried about giving you the wrong impression. I don't want to hurt you."

"You haven't given me the wrong impression, Steve. Love always hurts." TJ stared up into bright blue eyes and a smile he was beginning to crave and he knew it wasn't going to be Steve's fault if he was hurt. Again. Especially because under any other circumstances, TJ truly was the kind to ask for sex when he was unhappy.

"I was thirteen the first time I kissed a boy. That was back in the nineties, before being gay was cool. Back then, it wasn't just a sin, it was something dirty and diseased. When I was fourteen, I got caught and the decision was made that I would come out, be the first openly gay son of a sitting president. That summer, I slept with my female tutor because I didn't want to be gay or out or shipped off to boarding school like a shameful secret. My dad was under fire for his affairs, still in office, and Mama stood by him, even though she knew he was unfaithful. But, I was sent away, trying to figure out why I was so different, why I was sick. I used to get a lot of letters back then, girls who had crushes on a famous face mostly. But, after that, there was the hate mail from ultra-conservatives who blamed homosexuality for the downfall of society, religious nuts who felt it their duty to inform a fourteen year old boy all the ways he was going to hell for kissing a boy he'd thought was cute. And I was dealing with all of it alone because even my family didn't want me around. Oh, they were supportive in the press and I got to read the interviews in which they said they loved me no matter what my sexual orientation. But, I was reading it from a thousand miles away in exile."

The words just seemed to spill out of him. TJ had never really talked about any of this. But, Steve looked so caring and TJ wanted him to understand...something. He wasn't sure. "That was when I started doing drugs. It was the only way I knew how to cope, when I had no one there to help me figure it out. Not even Dougie. They'd separated us for the first time in our lives. And that...that hurt just as much as everything else. Back then, my brother and I were still close. We didn't have the internet or cell phones. I couldn't just set up a Skype call. I was on my own and no one seemed to care that I spiraling out of control. Not until I was older and they wanted something different from me and it was too late to just snap their fingers and make it stop.

"Three years ago, I met Sean. It wasn't supposed to be anything. He was hot, but closeted and married. A republican congressman. Worst idea ever. It was only supposed to be a one night stand, but six months later we were still sneaking around and I...I was falling in love with him. He said all the things I needed to hear and I, fool that I was, believed him. And then, someone blackmailed him, threatened to out him and us unless he changed his vote on a particular measure. I was ready to stay beside him. I would have been there through the shitstorm that would have come. But...I wasn't good enough. He'd said he loved me, but he loved his political career more and things ended...badly. He went back to his wife and I...didn't see much point in living."

Sighing, TJ shook his head. "I don't know why I'm even telling you any of this. Other than to say, I guess, that you're couldn't give me the wrong impression. I get how you feel. I've spent years trying to make it all about sex, take emotions out of the equation. But, the thing is, the one thing I've wanted all my life and don't believe I'll ever get, is for someone to look at me the way you looked at Peggy tonight."

Steve let go of TJ, but didn't look away. "There is nothing wrong with wanting love. Giving up, though? That's not right. Don't get me wrong, I know all about not wanting to get hurt again. I loved a woman, dived into the ice and woke up in a different century. She has lived her life while for me, it was only yesterday. I spent the past year avoiding attempts to set me up with people who couldn't possibly understand. You use this image you have and scathing remarks to keep yourself from being hurt, while I simply say no, but we are doing the same thing. The thing is that you can only do it for so long.

"I didn't just avoid a romantic relationship, but friends and a team." He chuckled at the memory of meeting the Avengers for the first time. "I didn't want to be involved. Easier that way, but now I have a team and I have good friends, and one day I hope to have more, but putting yourself out there, whether as a friend or more, is a risk. Every time you do it, you could be disappointed. I know that, but the rewards are worth it. Maybe you shouldn't tell people you want sex only. You might eliminate a lot of disappointments right off the bat." He squeezed TJ's arm. "You can't ask for some fun and expect a commitment, but expect the commitment and you'll be surprised. You might just get what you want. It's like tonight. You can't have it if you don't ask for it."

"Trouble is, I'm not a fighter like you are." TJ smiled softly and pushed himself up into a sitting position. Reaching for the backpack, he found the alcohol and took a long swig straight from the bottle before he kept speaking. "My family does nothing but argue. Even when they're being polite, they're arguing. Everything's a debate. The only way to have even a moment's peace is to just...not fight. My parents think it's that I just want them to do everything for me. But, the constant aggression...it's exhausting, especially when there's no one...what's the phrase you guys use? On your six? Especially when there's no one on your six. Fall often enough without anyone to help you back up and, eventually, it's just easier to stay down where at least it's only bruises instead of broken bones."

"It's still a sad way to go through life. You might not get hurt as much, but you don't experience the happiness you could have." Steve took the bottle from TJ and took a sip before handing it back. "You got someone to watch your back now. You got a lot of someones and not just because it's a job. Your brother has a way of talking to us like we are an inconvenience, but you are getting to know us. You gave up your club to be with me tonight. It's not some grand act, but these little things put together are what creates a friendship."

Steve rolled to his back. "I don't understand this world sometimes. We were supposed to be the conservative ones and in ways we were. There are enormous legal advances made, but while the law accepts more people it's almost like people have become less accepting to compensate. Then again, I never understood discrimination. We had an African America soldier, a Japanese soldier, an English officer and a French soldier in the Commandos. It was nothing that the Army would have approved of, but we were the best damn unit.” He turned his head to look at TJ. "It doesn't matter what you are. Black, white, straight, gay, in the end, we are people. We love, we live, we cry, we die. Don't give up, TJ, and don't settle. If you want something, fight for it. The unexpected might just happen."

For a long time, TJ just sat and drank, mulling over what Steve had said. It was kind of nice, actually, to spend time with someone who gave him that room to think about these things and didn't seem to be expecting an immediate agreement...or argument. He didn't think he'd come to any solutions by the time he set the bottle aside and lay back down, though.

"Want to know why the club means so much to me?" he asked as he settled on his back once more, head pillowed on his arms to watch the stars. "It's not the drugs or the hook-ups, although, I know that's what my family thinks. Dad even said as much the night it opened. Putting an addict in a nightclub is like tossing a baby seal into an orca's mouth. Or something like that. Funny thing is, except for that night, when I was trying to deal with their abandonment and overdosed, I do less drugs when I'm at the club than when I'm at my mother's house or on the campaign trails. But, that's not what attracted me to the idea. There's more to it than that. The Dome, both the club and the restaurant, it's about bringing ideas together, bringing together the people who can make those ideas happen. I'm a dreamer, much as I try to deny it. Full of ideas, but no follow-through. Got a string of failed business attempts to prove it. I think I'm mostly okay with that. At least, I am now that I have The Dome and can watch as it becomes a place for people to meet and plan and get started on all the important things I'm never going to do. In a town where it's usually more about who you know than what you know, I'm in a position to bring people together and introduce them to the right people, even tangentially by just giving them a private place to do it."

"So you do what the St. George used to do for gay men in the 30s and 40s. Even then, it was a lot more than sex. There were writers and artists and athletes. I loved to draw, and there were so many painters there, discussing things I wouldn't have even known otherwise. No one minded the skinny little kid who would go just to listen and never went upstairs," he said, smiling. "If the Dome makes you happy, then you're doing the right thing, regardless of what your family or the press thinks. We could make an appearance there, if you want. Wait until Tony is in town again and really make the big entrance, show that the Avengers like the place. Politically speaking, people will either love you or hate you, but it will have a political impact. Up to you if it's something you want to do, but if you want to keep the Dome a politics free zone, that's great too. I don't really like politics even if I can on occasion play the game."

"I hate politics. Hadn't been born a Hammond, wouldn't be anywhere near D.C.. Just don't have the...fortitude. Or the ambition. Horrible disappointment." It was a sign that he'd probably drunk more than he should have when, despite the use of big words, TJ started chopping up sentences. He turned his head slowly to look at Steve with something like awe in his voice as he said, "You'd do that? Bring the others? And Stark?"

Huffing a strange sort of laugh, he looked away again. "'Course you would. Don't say things you don't mean. Told me that. Just...you're kind of amazing, you know that?" Snapping his teeth shut, TJ groaned inwardly. Definitely drank too much for this conversation. "Your turn to talk now. Think I should shut up."

Steve reached for the bottle, but after drinking from it, he didn't give it back. Instead he put it on the grass leaving it there. "I don't want you to fall off from the bike when we go home," he said, amused. "And yes, we'll come to the club if that's what you want. Tony wouldn't pass up the chance to have fun, and somehow, people recognize him more than they recognize me." Of course, Steve had learned that if you looked casual, people tended not to pay attention. Tony had something that attracted attention no matter what he was doing.

"But I think I'm talking enough. I'm interested in knowing exactly how kind of amazing I am," he teased, although you couldn't tell from his face. "On a scale from one to ten, how amazing am I? This is important stuff that I should know."

TJ hummed softly. "No. I don't think I should tell you. If I tell, could go to your head and then you'd stop being this amazingly good guy. Just be an ass like the rest of us. Like you this way, even if I don't really understand how you go through all the shit you've gone through and still be the good guy, how you have what's got to be one of the worst nights of your life and still genuinely care about me, making _my_ life better. Anyone will tell ya. Charmed life. No reason to be miserable. But, you care."

Steve rolled on his side again, laughing. "I could make you tell me. I totally could." He poked TJ on the side without thinking how much this was like he used to related with Bucky, but maybe just the fact that TJ looked like Bucky made Steve relax in a way he rarely did. "I could tickle you until you'd tell me," he joked, before staring at TJ for a little too long and the smile disappeared. He lay down again, but this time, he used TJ's chest for a pillow, resting sideways on the sheet. "It isn't the worst night of my life. That was when Bucky died, or I thought he died. We were best friends since we were young and he always protected me, and then I got the serum, but he didn't stop protecting me. He died, trying to protect me, trying to protect Captain America. The second worse day was when I found out that he hadn't died, but had been captured, brainwashed and used as a weapon, and they did all of that, because I never went back to look for him. Peggy… she was happy. She had the career she wanted, a good husband, a loving family. It's sad that she’s dying and I’ll miss what we could have had, but… this is life. She's had it all and I'm happy for her."

It would have taken a much stronger man than TJ to abstain from running his fingers gently through Steve's hair the way they were now laying. Listening to the other man speak, it didn't sober TJ up, exactly. But, he was suddenly very aware of how drunk he was and how badly he could fuck this all up if he wasn't careful. "This is how amazing you are, Steve. Not the serum or how gorgeous you are. It's your heart, the fact you could be a bitter bastard like me after all that. But, you aren't. You can say you're happy for the life the woman you loved led without you and you actually mean it. I've never met anyone with as kind a heart as yours."

He bit his lip, hesitating before going on. "Bucky. He's the friend you mistook me for that first night at the club, isn't he? Somehow, he's still alive and out there somewhere and you're stuck here with me as a poor replacement. Am I right?"

"What? No, not at all." Steve turned around, lying on his stomach. He shook his head. "You're not a replacement, TJ. Poor or otherwise. Yes, Bucky is out there. He's lost and confused, but he's also good and he doesn't want to be found, but I will find him one day. I got through to him once, on that helicarrier and I will get through to him again. I know that. I believe that with all my heart. And you don't just resemble him. You look exactly alike. If you don't believe me, go to the Smithsonian. You'll see what I mean, but none of that impacts our friendship."

"Okay." TJ nodded. What else was there to say? He was trying really hard to believe Steve when he said he meant what he said. And this wasn't supposed to be about TJ. Not tonight. "I think I'm too drunk for this conversation. I keep saying things wrong. Would you...would you tell me about him? I feel like I keep telling you all these things about me you probably don't need to know. But, I only know what history teaches about Captain America. I don't know much about Steve Rogers or the people he cares about."

"If by saying the wrong thing, you mean saying what you really think, then yes, you’re doing that. This is probably the most uncensored discussion we've ever had and I like that," he answered. "I get the feeling that I'm learning more about TJ tonight than the past month and I like this version better." He turned around and rested his head on TJ again. "You might look like Bucky, but you remind me of Tony, especially when you're around people. The money, the absent parents, the need to prove yourself. You two will either love each other or hate each other."

He was debating what to say about Bucky, if anything at all. "Bucky was the best friend you could have. We teased each other, we stood by each other. I don't even know what to say about him. We grew up together. My mother worked in a ward, long hours for little money and Bucky's mother would take care of me. She already had four of her own, but she had a heart of gold. When we became older, we went everywhere together." He chuckled to himself. "I think it was because I kept getting in trouble if Bucky wasn't around. I never was too good at keeping my mouth shut. When my mother died, I moved in with them. It couldn't last long. There were seven people in two bedrooms and we could only sleep on the floor of their living room for so long. We moved into a one room apartment, the two of us. I was always so sick and I could barely work. Bucky paid for things when I couldn't, Then the war started."

Steve stared at the stars while he talked, lost in the past, even for a few minutes. "I tried to enlist. Five times. I was too short, too skinny, too unhealthy. They took him without blinking of course and with his high school degree, he ended up a sergeant before shipping out." He skipped the part about becoming Captain America, because it seemed like everyone knew that. "When I went to Italy with the USO, I found out that the 107th had been captured, maybe killed. They told me that he'd been killed, that a rescue mission would be a suicide mission. That's when I decided to go anyway. Peggy got Howard Stark to fly me into German territory. I found him alive. They'd been experimenting on him, but he was alive. He was so out of it, and yet, we started trading barbs like we'd never been separated. He's my best friend and always will be, but I have room for a lot of friends." 

"No wonder you feel about friends the way you do," TJ said softly, fingers having returned to stroking through Steve's hair. "Having that kind of relationship as an example. Was a time I'd have said Doug was that for me. But, we've drifted so far apart over the last few years, well, far enough he now comes over to save strangers from talking to me instead of the other way around."

Sighing, TJ closed his eyes. "Steve? Will you stay with me tonight? Not for sex. But, just...I don't want to sleep alone and I...I don't like the thought of leaving you to sleep alone tonight, either."

"Now that's something Bucky would have said, although he might have asked me to shine his shoes as a reward for spending time with him," he said, laughing. Steve looked up at TJ. "Stop looking like that. It's really okay to speak up and yes, I'll stay with you." He stretched an arm, resting his hand on TJ's leg. "You didn't know about Susan, did you? Your parents and grandmother aren't too happy about that one and none of them are shy about letting her know. It looks like both of you are trying to protect yourselves by isolating yourself. Try talking to him. You might be surprised; he might need you as much as you need him. Too often, taking that first step is the hardest part."

"No, I didn't know. But, then, he never knew about Sean, either." Opening his eyes, TJ risked lifting his head to see Steve better, but changed his mind when it proved too much effort. "Nana doesn't really care, as long as Dougie's happy. She just hates Susan for all the hateful things she wrote about Mama during Dad's presidency. No one could understand why she didn't leave him, if not while he was in office, at least once he'd termed out. I didn't myself before Sean. I knew he was married, but he said he loved me and promised he wanted to leave her, that he was unhappy anytime he wasn't with me. Got to give Dad credit for that much, I guess. In his own twisted way, I think he loves her. They're insane, but they really are happier when they're together. Usually working on politics."

Rewinding things in his head, TJ poked at one of Steve's unbelievably firm biceps. "And, give me a break. I'm trying out something new for the first time with this asking for what I want thing. It's scary as all fuck, Mr. Star-Spangled Sass."

Steve bit his lip, trying not to laugh. "As nicknames go, I think I like it. Very good, Mr. Hammond. Very good indeed." He squeezed TJ's leg. "It's really not that scary. You ask, and sometimes it's a yes, sometimes it's a no, sometimes it's a maybe. There's little else that can happen, and I'll give you a break when you tell me what you really wanted tonight. Scream it to the world and see what happens?"

"To kiss you," TJ said lightly.

It took five whole seconds for his response to sink into his own brain. When it did, he groaned and threw an arm over his eyes, as if that would hide him from the abject humiliation of the rejection to come.

Steve had never expected that. Something so simple and so complicated at the same time. He remembered a time when he would have done anything to have a girl look at him and see what he was worth, a lot more than his frail body. TJ might be good looking and rich, but he was even more fragile on the inside than Steve had been.

He moved again and this time, he was resting between TJ's legs, most of his weight on one elbow, while he gently took TJ's arm off of his face. "What did I just say about asking? The worse possible outcome is that you get a no." He leaned down and kissed TJ's cheek, much like Natasha had done in that cemetery, before pulling back. "I know it's not what you want, but the other kind of kissing goes with the dating."

"I know," TJ said softly, eyes wide and trusting, but his mouth turned down in confusion. Thank God he was drunk and, therefore, not yet embarrassing himself with what he knew would be his body's reaction to Steve being on top of him like that. At least he could save some face. "That's why I wasn't going to ask. I meant it when I said I get how you feel." And, even if he hadn't been straight, someone like Steve was never going to want to saddle himself with a mess like TJ.

Still, it took everything he had to push gently on Steve's shoulder. "But, I'm drunk and no good at stopping myself when I'm sober. So, you should probably move before I do something we'll both regret."

Steve frowned. "Okay, now you've officially lost me. First, don't worry about stopping yourself. I'm pretty sure that I can stop you." That wasn't even the problem, though. "I don't understand, TJ. We both agreed that you weren't going to ask for sex, and you asked for a kiss, so what's there to stop?"

TJ Hammond was many things. Patient and saintly were not two of them. With a groan of frustration, he fisted one hand in Steve's shirt to half pull Steve down and half pull himself up into what would have to go down on record as the most chaste kiss of his life. But, his defenses were so far down as to be non-existent, which meant everything he felt was wrapped up in that second of contact between their lips. "I asked if I could kiss you. And just because I won't ask you for sex, don't think it's not because I don't want to, or that I don't want _you_. I just know you don't want to, that you need to find that right partner first. And, that's strangely okay. But, the longer you lie on top of me like a lover, the more I really want to push those boundaries. And I respect you too much to jeopardize this friendship like that, especially tonight of all nights, when it's the most inappropriate time imaginable, even if you were interested. Does that clear things up enough?"

That little speech had been enough to get him off from TJ, but now he was lying on his side, not too far from TJ. "It clears things a little, not completely," he said quietly. The kiss he could deal with. It wasn't that he hadn't had stranger people kiss him before, even if normally they had been women. In fact, he was pretty sure that most of his kisses occurred like that. "If I were interested in what? Sex? Then you know the answer to that. Something else? Then you really have to ask for what you want, because I'm not sure what I should be even interested in."

TJ bit back a sigh and ran a hand through his hair. "Nothing, Steve. Nothing. It was a hypothetical, nothing more. We should go. My head is spinning and I'm not making any sense and you're too much temptation." Sitting up, he reached for the backpack to start clearing the area. "When I'm extremely embarrassed about all this in the morning, will you please just be a pal and skip the pep talk about going for what I want? Just let me pretend it didn't happen?"

Steve went on his back and watched TJ. He wasn't ready to go, not when TJ was ready to shut down again. He'd been honest when he'd said that he liked this more carefree version. "Do you want to date me?" he asked instead.

"Does it matter? I'm not having this conversation the night the woman you loved dies, Steve. I'm not-" TJ stopped and just knelt there. "It doesn't matter. Just let it go."

"It does matter. It should matter to you and it matters to me." He reached out and covered TJ's hand gently, while he looked up at TJ. "Ask me. You won't know the answer unless you're brave enough to know that you can ask the question."

TJ looked down at their hands and swallowed. He'd reached the point in his drunkenness where his emotions threatened to all come out in liquid form from his eyes and he was trying valiantly to prevent that from actually happening. "Steve...? I- Tell me you're not cruel enough to get my hopes up phrasing it that way, only to say no. Because I already know I'm falling for you and if you're just pushing this issue to get me to admit that I want to be with you, _date_ you, as an exercise in asking for I want and taking risks, but you're still going to turn me down, I'm pretty sure I won't be able to take that and I'm too drunk to remember for long why keeping you at arms' length is the better option, no matter what I feel, or how much I really don't want to be just another regret to one more person I care about."

"You're not that drunk," Steve said. "And if you thought I was that kind of a person why would you even consider asking me?" He gently rubbed TJ's hand with a thumb. "You still haven't asked, you know. Ask for what you want."

"I don't have to be that drunk for that." Biting his lip, uncertainty still plaguing him, even though he truly didn't believe Steve capable of that kind of cruelty, TJ finally raised his eyes to meet Steve's. "You," he whispered. "I want you. Will you...would you be interested in...I don't think I've ever had to do the asking," he huffed. "Steve, will you go out with me? On a date?"

"And how have your previous relationships gone?" Steve asked with an amused smile. He squeezed TJ's hand. "Yes, TJ, I will go out with you. Now, can you lie back down and stop being as skittish as a dog on the Fourth of July? I'm not going to bite and I don't want to go home. It's quiet here, peaceful." He grinned. "And we are having a picnic under the stars. I'm pretty sure we're already on a date."

TJ stared at him for a long moment, then reached out and smacked his arm lightly. "You are impossible." Laughing, he turned to lay down. But, this time, he was on his stomach, head turned to watch Steve appreciatively instead of the stars. If he didn't have to hide his attraction now, he was going to look his fill until he had permission to touch. "Next time, there will be warning that it's a date."

Steve raised an eyebrow. "You don't like my choice of a date? Because you asked for this." He kept on arm under his head while he reached out and traced TJ's jaw with his thumb. "Much better when you laugh. See how much better it is when you let yourself ask? And it's my turn to ask something. Do you still want to kiss me? Because I've had too many people kiss me at random times and I'd really like to kiss you simply because we want to."

Smiling softly, TJ nodded. "I'd really like that, too."

He almost asked TJ to do just that, but then he got on his side. Steve traced TJ's lips with his thumb and then leaned closer. He kept his eyes fixed on TJ until the last possible moment and then he closed them just as he pressed their lips together. Soft, gentle, with no real comparison to make, he let himself enjoy the moment, not rushing, not pushing for more than this brush of lips and a ghost of breath on his face.

Having been caught at an awkward angle, TJ twisted up onto one elbow before initiating a second kiss as gentle as the first. Free hand resting lightly on Steve's chest for balance, he let himself sink into the feeling of buoyancy that accompanied the brief touch of lips to lips. "Wanted to do that ever since the first night at Mama's," he whispered, "when you caught me playing."

"Since then? I'll have to tell Sam that he was wrong, then. He was pretty sure that you wanted to do that since the club. I was pretty sure he was right, too," he said, chuckling. "I'm glad you didn't," he added, a little more serious. "I'd barely met you then. I enjoyed the past month, maybe not the constant tension in your family, but I've enjoyed spending time with you."

TJ chuckled. "I wanted to get you into bed at the club. Totally different kind of kissing." Snorting softly, he teased Steve's lips with his own one more time before rolling onto his back and moving closer. "I've enjoyed spending time with you, too. The others, too. But, mostly you. You've made the usual stress of a campaign bearable. Without drugs or sex." He grinned. "That's quite a feat."

"I can add it to my list of successful missions." Steve was anything if not a gentleman and he snaked his free arm under TJ to use as support. "So if I'm not around, does it mean that there will be drugs or sex?" This dating business had been confusing enough back in the 20th century, but it was completely foreign to him now, so they were back to him asking direct questions to know what to expect.

"I don't know," TJ replied honestly. "If you'd rather this be exclusive between us, I just won't have sex with anyone else as long as we're seeing each other. I'm really okay with that. Not being monogamous, one night stands, it's all a choice I've made in the past to keep people at a distance. But, I meant what I said about that being pretend. Drugs are more complicated." TJ sighed. "I've never gone more than a few months without falling off the wagon. I haven't really used since the night of the attack. But, I'd been using just the week before that." His smile now was more than a little self-deprecating. "Still haven't learned to cope with things. And it's family stress that usually makes me want to get high, when the constant belittling starts to get to me. If Sam and the others are around, spending time with them should be okay. But, I honestly don't know how I'll do on my own. I try every time, but I generally end up failing sooner or later."

"I really don't know how things are done now, but I can't imagine even wanting to date two people at the same time, let alone have sex with them." How did people even find that right one anymore? "I'd like that, yes, being exclusive." Steve squeezed TJ's shoulder. "I already told you that I liked spending time with you this past month. I'm not asking you to change, but I guess I'm asking you to be who you really are when there are no cameras and reporters around. I've dealt with a lot of problems, but drugs have never been one of them. Sam can probably help more than I can, if you want to talk to him. He was working at the VA hospital, dealing with soldiers that returned from war zones, and dealt with all sorts of traumas. I know it's not exactly the same, but apparently drug use is a huge problem. Maybe he can help, or give you names of people who can help. You can always call me and talk to me. I don't know if it'll help, but if I'm not around and the stress is too much, make the call, fly out to New York, Skype. I do know how to use a computer."

"Now in that, you are different from Nana," TJ teased. "She can't be bothered with computers. But, thank you. I don't know if it'll help, either. I've done the NA thing with sponsors and all I was supposed to be able to call. Never worked. Never thought about calling them until after. But...I don't know. I've never really talked to anyone as openly as I have you tonight. So, maybe, in those moments, I'll be able to think of you before the drugs the way I never could a sponsor who didn't really matter to me." Reaching up, he brushed his fingers along Steve's jaw. "It's not really changing who I am, you know. Thomas Hammond, the first openly gay first son, doesn't do monogamy or date. But, TJ secretly wants that faerietale he's too afraid to believe in, remember? When the cameras are off and the reporters are gone, TJ's all that's left."

Steve smiled while he turned to look at TJ. "I know that, TJ. You're not nearly as subtle as you think. I meant that you should try to be TJ a lot more than you do right now. You don't let yourself be TJ even around your family, even when there are no reporters or cameras. Maybe if you let go just a little when you're in private, putting a show in public won't be as bad. And if your parents complain, tell them that being TJ got you Captain America and he thinks that TJ is a pretty nice guy." He was also the man with a plan as the old song went and could adjust what he thought dating should be with the realities of modern life. "I know how we can solve one problem before it becomes a problem. If I go away, then we have daily dates on Skype. Times will have to be flexible with our schedules, but we talk at least once a day, because this is what dating is, getting to know each other and not jumping in bed with someone. If we do that, it also means that you won't have to remember to call me, because it will happen as a matter of fact."

"God, when my family hears about this. They're going to think I'm corrupting an American icon." Groaning, TJ pinched the bridge of his nose. "They're not particularly fond of just plain TJ. But, it might be worth it just to use that line," he added with a soft laugh. "I've never really dated. Can't even really count Sean. We never went out because, well, married man. I like this plan, though. Daily Skype dates."

Reaching up, he ran his fingers through Steve's hair. "I should probably warn you now, when I'm not getting sex, I tend to talk about it a lot. Jokes, references. I like sex. I can go without it, that's not a problem." He hoped. It had been awhile since he'd really gone without. "But, I like it. You've seemed...uncomfortable, when the others tease about it. You'll have to tell me if it's too much, okay?"

"Your family doesn't really give the American Icon much credit if they think that a pretty face can corrupt him. If and when you want to tell your family about this, we do it together, okay? I'm not leaving you alone to deal with this." He reached up and kissed TJ's temple. "We'll figure things out, TJ. That's one thing I'm good at, making plans."

Steve leaned back down. "I'm not uncomfortable talking about sex. I don't think it's a subject that should be shared with everyone. If anything, I tease back with them, but in general terms and I'm certainly not telling them about my sex life. You know if I had one," he said chuckling. "If there's one person you should be talking to about sex it's me. It's fine."

"This...you...It all seems too good to be true," TJ murmured, smiling. He shifted a little closer and put his hand on Steve's chest, more for the reassurance of touch than anything else. "If I don't sleep tonight, it'll be because I'm afraid I'll wake up and find out I've dreamed it all up, just imagined you."

Steve squeezed TJ's shoulder. "I'm too solid to be a dream." There was a buzz and he reached into his pants pocket to bring the phone out. He looked at it for a moment and then he put it back. "She died." He looked at TJ for a moment and kissed him gently. "You stayed with me. You're pretty good yourself."

"Couldn't leave you alone." TJ shrugged, nonplussed by the praise. "It will ruin my rep as a selfish bastard, I'm sure." He wrapped his arms around Steve as best he could in that position. He still wasn't really sure what to say or do when someone you cared about lost someone they cared about. But, that much, just being there and holding on, he could do.

This was strange, lying down here in the open, holding TJ, being held by him, staying silent, and he found that he was feeling okay or as okay he could feel under the circumstances. He stared at the stars, not really saying anything for a moment, before smiling. "She'd be happy for me just like I was happy for her, so stop talking about how bad you are."

"I'm a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad man," TJ teased before wondering if Steve would even know the reference. Not that it mattered. Carding his fingers through Steve's hair, he kissed him softly before pulling back a little to smile easily. "Come on, even if there's no sex, I want to get home with time enough to enjoy having you in my bed before falling asleep."

* * *

The funeral had been that afternoon. Steve had gone with Tony. He'd seen some of the children and grandchildren of the Howling Commandos, but he hadn't talked to them. The biggest surprise had been the man he'd seen at a distance. He knew it was Bucky. Bucky never got too close and Steve couldn't _see_ him with the trees and hat, but he'd recognize his best friend anyway. After the funeral, he'd gone back to work, spending most of the day with Doug until dinner time, and then TJ said that he needed to go to the club.

Steve had known that it was an excuse, anything to get out of that house where politics seemed to be the only topic of discussion. They did go to the club for a little and then they headed to Steve's place. The night of the picnic they had slept together until the next morning, but there had been comments from TJ's parents about what TJ had been doing all night. Tonight, he planned to spend time here and then wake TJ up in the middle of the night to drive home.

They ended up in bed, talking about the club, their friends, TJ's family, anything they could think of until TJ fell asleep. At some point Steve nodded off, but it wasn't for long. A noise woke him up. He disentangled himself from TJ and walked into his living room. "It's about time you showed up," he said when he saw the shadow in a corner.

"You don't seem to be doing too badly without me around," Bucky huffed, stepping further into the room. Gone was the tactical gear of the last seventy years, replaced by jeans and leather jacket. But, the way he carried himself now, the gear might well have still been there. His eyes darted around the room, but lingered on Steve, assessing with much the same thoroughness as the days when he'd come in from a day working at the docks and reassure himself Steve wasn't hiding some new asthma attack or fever.

"Your jokes are still falling flat," Steve answered, taking a few more steps forward. "I saw you today at the funeral. You should have joined us. She would have liked that. I know I liked having you there. Is this when I can finally hug my best friend?"

"Yeah, well, I'm outta practice these days." Bucky shrugged one shoulder, his right, but didn't back away as Steve approached. His fists clenched and unclenched, fighting the urge to reach out and pull Steve close. But, when Steve actually _asked_ , there wasn't much that could stop Bucky from stepping forward to meet Steve halfway. "Wasn't there for her, punk."

Steve gripped his shirt and pulled Bucky even closer while he put an arm around him, holding him as hard as he dared. For a moment, even the automatic response from years past got stuck in his throat. "You should have spoken to me, jerk," he whispered. "God, Bucky, I've been so worried about you." He pulled back and framed his face. "Are you all right? What have you been doing? Where are you staying? Why did you leave… why did you leave me? We could have done this together, you know we could have. I've been waiting for you to make contact." He let go and sighed. "I'm glad that you're finally here."

Bucky sighed. "I couldn't stay, Steve. I had to work things out and I couldn't take a chance on doing...that...to you again. When the programming broke, when you broke through to me, I was pretty messed up, unstable. I made sure you were okay and then I had to take off. I know you'd have helped as best you could. But, I had to get away from both you and Hydra, find the truth on my own." Stepping further back, he put his hands in his jacket pockets. "I went looking for answers in what's left of Hydra's facilities and started working my way through them. After a while, it was easier to just keep cleaning up the mess I helped create than to come back and face you. Ran into Fury -- not quite so literally this time -- outside Moscow a couple weeks ago and he told me what it suited him to about what you were working on here. When he told me about Peggy later, well, I don't remember everything, but I remember how you felt about her and...I guess I couldn't stay away, even if you didn't want me around anymore after what I did."

"You must have hit your head at some point if you really think that I don't want you around," Steve said. "You're my best friend, my family. I always want you around, no matter how messed up you are." He smiled a little. "I know you saved me. Everyone thought that I was crazy, that I must have swam to shore or floated, but I knew it was you."

He walked away, going for the bottles that sat in a corner. He didn't think twice about turning his back on Bucky, completely defenseless and without his shield. Bucky would never hurt him; Steve had always believed that. He filled two glasses and went back to give Bucky one. "How much of the peace we've been having was it you? Nick gave us some names, but since the attack a month ago, everything has been quiet."

"I don't know." Bucky took the glass without drinking immediately, but the tension drained from his shoulders a bit. "Before I talked to Fury, I was just...dismantling whatever I could, mostly the facilities that used Winter Soldier. After, I've kept my ear to the ground with a little more focus. But, I'm mostly coming up with armories and general storage. After you brought everything down, there was a lot of scrambling for power and their forces were scattered. It's harder to pinpoint who's running which show. The problem with an organization named after a beast with multiple heads: each brain thinks it's in charge. And Fury didn't share the names he had." He nodded toward the bedroom. "Or that you'd cloned me."

"Are you ready to do this the right way? Because we're stretched thin and we can only stay here for so long before something else happens. It'd be nice to have someone else on board, someone who knows me and understand Hydra." Steve sat down on the couch, looking at Bucky. "I didn't clone you. I found him this way. His name is TJ Hammond. I met him when I almost tackled him, thinking that it was you. Either he or his brother are targets. He's…" He smiled at Bucky. "He feels right."

"Like Peggy, right?"

"Maybe," Steve answered as honestly as he could. "Things are a lot different, not just the gender. She knew me before, although dating in between missions during a war wasn't exactly something that was going to happen. I haven't known him long, but yeah, I think he could be the same kind of right. Is that… are you…" He never hesitated, not on a mission and not in his personal life, but Bucky was his family and he didn't know what he'd do if Bucky didn't approve. "Are you okay with him being a guy?" he finally asked.

Bucky snorted. "Considering that I used to wonder, with the amount of time you spent at the St. George, if I ought to try setting you up with guys instead of the stupid dames I kept finding for you? Yeah, I'm okay with the guy part." Taking a swallow of his drink, he finally joined Steve on the couch, leaning forward with his arms on his knees. "The part where he looks like I used to brings up a few questions. But, after everything I've done, all the death and betrayal...only thing that matters is you're happy. I'm really good with you being happy, Steve. Guy or gal."

"It has nothing to do with how he looks. If anything, that was the one thing that made me uncomfortable. Not that there's anything wrong with the way you both look," he added with a smile, "but I didn't want him to think that he was a substitute. I know that I can't even explain how close we are without people thinking there is more between us." He hooked his arm around Bucky's neck and pulled him closer, resting their heads together. "Did I say how much I missed you? Because I have and ask whatever questions you have. You know I'll always answer you honestly."

"You might have hinted at it a little." Bucky elbowed him lightly in the ribs before sitting up straight again. "But, you answered the most important one. He's not a substitute for me. Which is good because I love you, but for anything 'more'?" And here Bucky actually mimed the air quotes. "I'm sorry, but, impressive as your chest is now, ya just don't have the kind of jugs I like, buddy."

Grinning, he winked at Steve before downing the rest of his drink. "Getting back to Hydra, though, define doing this 'the right way'. If you mean working together, coordinating between you and me, I'm in. If you mean joining up with your new team?" He shook his head. "Don't think I'm ready for that."

Steve laughed at the answer, and the laughter was a little too loud and untroubled, in a way it hadn't in a long time. "In case it was subtle, I missed you, even with that horrible sense of humor that you have. Creepy too, because me and you-" He didn't think he could shiver, from cold or fear, but the idea gave him the heebie-jeebies. "Let's not mention that again."

Business was something they had discussed just as much before Bucky had fallen from the train. "I'll take what I can get, but they will have to know if we're coordinating. I'd rather not have one of them shooting at you because they think you're an hostile. They might get hurt that way." He clapped Bucky's shoulder without thinking. The feeling of metal and flesh under his hand was foreign, but his eyes were on Bucky and that made everything okay. "So where are you staying? You can have the couch until we find a place to stay."

"I move around. Different factions are still looking for me, either because they've figured out their asset's turned on them, or to bring me back. Either way, I don't want to bring them _here_ , especially not if you're bringing him here and he's a target. Give me the names you have and I'll go back out there, see what I can find out." Smiling, he cupped the back of Steve's neck with his flesh and blood hand. "You have to stay here and protect this guy long enough to figure out for sure if he's the right dance partner. Let me do the legwork to get you the intel you need to do that."

"As long as you come back. I kept this apartment for you. I knew you'd come back if I gave you time, but otherwise, we were ready to move to New York," he admitted. "Two are easy: Bruce Banner and Tony Stark. They can take care of themselves. TJ and his brother Doug. We only have a last name. We assumed that it was one of their parents, but no. I'll get you the files of the other ones, and you can probably get the information about TJ and Doug from TJ."

He turned his head toward the bedroom and then got up. "I can hear you, TJ. Come out here, and meet Bucky." He had a feeling that Bucky had known too.

TJ stepped out hesitantly, not sure what to expect -- or what was expected - when being introduced to his double. It should have been like looking into a mirror. But, there was no way TJ Hammond would ever have let his hair grow so long and shaggy. While he might wear jeans and leather, they were designer. And he'd never worn combat boots in his life. Mostly, it was hard to see the similarity in the slats of light coming through the window blinds into the darkened room. And that was just fine with him

"Shit, Steve. He really does look exactly like me."

"How can you-?" TJ shook his head. "Don't tell me. He's a super soldier, too, and I'm the only one who's blind as a bat in here. Right?"

The question made him realize that neither one had bothered with the light. Steve turned on the light, before going to TJ. He rested a hand on his boyfriend's back. "He does look like you. I thought we had this discussion," he said with a grin.

"TJ, meet my best friend, Bucky Barnes. Bucky, TJ Hammond. Bucky was born a year before me. I'm not sure about serum, but he looks good for ninety-six." He kept a hand on TJ the entire time, while his eyes stayed on Bucky, not because of fear, but because he wanted them to get along.

"Nice to meet you." Bucky held out a hand, one TJ took firmly, if not enthusiastically, and grinned. "Whatever this punk has told you, only the good half is true and anything else wasn't my fault. He was the real troublemaker when we were young."

"That so?" TJ chuckled, but he moved closer to Steve. "This is...a mindfuck. How is this even possible?"

"I'm blaming Steve. He has a way of making the impossible happen. Clearly, he needed two good lookin' mooks in his life." Bucky smirked at his best friend, the teasing coming naturally in a way little had in the past few months.

"I feel like I'm high, only I know I'm not. Do I get one of those?" TJ asked, pointing at Steve's drink.

"If I wanted good looking people, I'd make my clones. Tony would help," he answered, grinning at Bucky, but the hand on TJ's back slid over as TJ moved closer, until his fingers curled casually around TJ's hip. "Here, take this." He handed TJ the glass. He could wait to get more. Right now, he was staying close to TJ who didn't look half as comfortable as Bucky. "Why don't we sit down?"

"Thank you." TJ took the glass and promptly put it to his lips for a large swallow. He'd thought he could handle this. Listening to the conversation from the other room, he'd thought it was okay. Seeing it for himself...it just brought home exactly how surreal the entire situation was to begin with. Nodding, he took Steve's suggestion and sank gratefully onto the couch.

Bucky watched the interaction between the two with concealed interest. The ease with which Steve touched TJ told Bucky all he needed to know about his friend's feelings. It hurt a little, to realize he wasn't the most important person in Steve's life anymore. But, it was a good hurt, one that had been far too long in coming. "The world's not ready for more than one of you, Steve. Too many morals."

At that, TJ smiled and looked up at Steve. "He does have a point there. You're too good for most people to appreciate."

"I'm not exactly sure it works that way," Steve said, laughing. He went to get a drink and brought the bottle back, resting it on the coffee table, and then he sat down next to TJ. "You do know that we should have more people with morals, not less, right?" he asked Bucky.

Taking a much smaller swallow, he rested the glass on the arm rest. "And going back to the important topic of these assassination attempts, we don't know how this algorithm works, but if you could find out who has it, it'd be great help. I thought it had all gone up in smoke that day, but apparently someone else is keeping track. If we could get our hands on it, we could predict who they will go after. Or just finding the who so we can arrest him."

Bucky took his own seat in the chair across from them and set his empty glass on the coffee table. "If this is because of...that algorithm, that narrows things down a bit. From what I've been able to pick up in the last few months, these days you can split Hydra into two main types, each with multiple factions. You have the ones like Schmidt and _him_ , who are focused on creating a master race. Then you have the ones like Pierce, who want to take over. Those factions are actually fewer than you think and most of them are based out of either the EU or here in the States. Considering how _he_ survived, it's probable he backed up the algorithm somewhere. Let's just hope he didn't back himself up, too."

"I have no problem destroying Zola for a third time," Steve answered. "He wanted the master race, he can have me instead. But yes, we think they are working off of that algorithm. The names were on the list for the helicarrier to deal with. If you give me an email, we'll forward everything we have. Tasha and Tony usually deal with those things, secure networks, encryptions, I just listen and remember."

He looked at TJ who was being quiet, and then at Bucky and another idea sprang to mind. "His family thinks that the target is Doug, future president and all. What if it's TJ? Something in your DNA? In his? You look too much alike not to share something. How much does it put you at risk?"

"That sounds like something-" Bucky swallowed "...Zola would consider. Since I was the only one to survive his experiments in the camp, thanks to you, he might have put something in looking for specific genetic traits, something for his own purposes that whoever's using the list now is unaware of. Maybe even Pierce was unaware of it."

"Wait." TJ took another large swallow. "Slow down. First you're introducing me to my doppelganger and the next you're saying I might actually be the target because of him?"

"I hate to say it, but you might end up a target because of me even outside this list." Bucky looked at Steve. "The only real difference between us is the left arm. If I cut my hair again and shave, we could pass for twins."

"I already have a twin," TJ muttered. "Wouldn't Doug have to share whatever DNA you're talking about? Since we _are_ twins?"

"Fraternal twins, so it's the same as brothers, genetically, but you and Bucky are just so alike. It wasn't something that occurred to me until just now, talking about Zola. I wasn't keeping this from you." He rubbed TJ's back as he spoke, and if they needed any more proof that he wasn't looking for a replacement, here it was. He and Bucky spoke mostly to work things out, but they knew what the other would say, and they would certainly not try to comfort each other this way. Life gave you lemons and all of that. Still, he continued for TJ’s sake. "Who he is helps us in a way. People know him, people have known him since his father was president. They know who TJ Hammond is and they know that TJ Hammond isn't the Winter Soldier. I know it's not perfect, but in a way it's useful. On the other hand, if you two are tied, then they will be happy with either one of you."

Bucky nodded. "That takes anyone looking to kill me off the list of possibilities and probably about half the ones who want to bring me back for reprogramming." Sighing, he reached for the bottle to refill his own drink. At the same time, he topped off TJ's because the young man looked like he needed it. "The only way to know for sure," he continued as he sat back again, "is to find out who's running this operation. That's the only way to know what they're after, if it's just to take out threats to Hydra's future, or if it's connected to the Winter Soldier experiments."

"What, or who, exactly, is the Winter Soldier?" TJ asked.

"I am." Bucky's eyes flicked to Steve. "It's a long story and Steve can tell you the full thing later. But, Winter Soldier was my codename. Is my codename."

"I see."

"Steve, is there anyone on your team who can run the kind of tests we'd need to determine what DNA TJ and I might share? Much as I loathe the idea of submitting to that kind of thing, we might need to know in order to protect him."

Steve thought about what Bucky was saying, but there was something else that was nagging him. "If we're saying that it's this Zola wannabe, then we're looking at two different groups. However if we consider the fact that this algorithm is stupid then it makes more sense." Steve had doubts that a computer could predict these things. "I mean, look at some of the targets: the president, who will always be a threat, no matter who he or she is. Tony who's already been a threat. Same with Bruce. Natasha, me, you, we weren't on that list, but I'm willing to bet that we are now, and TJ might be because he looks like you. The thing is that the moment you put someone on the list, you change what will happen. You also make them your enemy by default. If you run the list again, I bet that now his family will be a threat, because they would not stand idly by. Same with people who weren't going to fight before. I was working for S.H.I.E.L.D.; you were working for them. We would have done their dirty jobs until they decided to push the issues. They are listening to a computer but not using any common sense."

Some things never changed. People's tunnel vision had led too many to die or be hurt and it looked like it was happening again. "We need to go to New York for the DNA. Tony and Bruce could come down here, but it's secure there. Stark Tower has been rebuilt and turned into the Avengers Tower, lower floors for the company but we have taken over the top fifteen floors. We can do it there. If we do it on the weekend, make sure that there's no campaign event, we can drive there and back in a day."

"If Project Insight had worked, the algorithm would have made sense," Bucky pointed out. "Something on a mass scale before anyone knew what was going on. But, yeah, they have to know that _you_ know about the list now. Picking targets off one by one doesn't make any sense. Then again, Hydra was founded by a man who thought he was destined to be a god. So, insanity is probably a job requirement."

"Sounds like politics," TJ interjected with a snort.

Bucky laughed. "Little bit, yeah. But, okay. Stark and Banner." Looking at Steve, it was his turn to bite his lip uncertainly. "Steve...there's something you should know. About Howard..."

"I know, but it wasn't you. It was Hydra. Natasha knows too. Zola was big on sharing before our supposed death. We didn't die. And that's all that we need to say about Howard," Steve said, before chuckling. "I really hope that American politics isn't like that. For all of their faults, your parents seem smarter than that."

He looked at Bucky with a very amused smile. "And that algorithm couldn't figure out that Project Insight would have never worked with Captain America around? How many times do I have to beat them before they realize that nothing will succeed if I'm breathing? They should have killed me, blamed it on the terrorists and Nick would have gone along with the project."

Bucky's hand froze, glass halfway to his mouth. "Don't even think it," he said sharply. "You know who they would have sent, right? I'd rather they were stupid."

TJ had a feeling he was missing a large part of this conversation. There was a lot of history between the other two men and he was really the new one sitting on the outside, which, despite his family's position, was a place he was fairly familiar with overall. He also felt very out of his league with all this talk of DNA and algorithms and missions. There wasn't much to TJ except being a gay icon, fashion icon, and party boy. Now, he was surrounded by people who were intelligent and important in ways that differed greatly from the kind of importance his family emphasized and he could only sit there and listen as the conversation went over his head.

"Give me your phone," Bucky was saying to Steve when TJ checked back into the conversation. "I'll give you an email address that's good for your team to send me that information and one that's just for you. Let me know when to be there for the testing and I'll be there."

Steve reached in his pocket and tossed the phone with one hand. "That's really the other problem with that algorithm. You would have never killed me." That was as much a given as far as he was concerned as the fact that the earth rotated around the sun. "I'll check on Doug's schedule and their parents and then I'll let you know. I'd rather do it sooner than later."

They didn't need many words to come up with a plan, but things were different for TJ, who had even stopped drinking (thankfully) and was sort of staring. "Is this weekend good for you? Or do you have plans?" He didn't realize how much his tone changed until the questions were out of his mouth. His eyes flickered to Bucky for a moment, who only smirked in response, and then back to TJ. He ran his knuckles over TJ's cheek. "Are you still with us? We can slow it down if you need us to."

"Sort of?" TJ wanted to be his aloof public persona. But, Steve's gentleness coaxed honesty out of him almost instinctively. He sighed and shook his head, leaning toward Steve a little more. "I've got the general gist, I think. It's fine. My only plan was to go to the club, but that can be put off until whenever."

"We can go to the club the night before and leave in the morning. Three hours there, three hours back. I doubt we'll need long there anyway," Steve said with a smile. "All right, with that out of the way, what are we doing now? Are you crashing here? Just for the night. You'll be safe here. We'll be leaving in a few hours anyway. His parents think we're at the club right now." He frowned. "That sounds so wrong, Ninety-six and sneaking around. Anyway, couch, shower, a haircut?" He made a face. "You look horrible with that mop on your head and it'd be hardly the first time that I cut your hair."

Bucky laughed, long and warm, if quietly. "Things have really changed when _you're_ the one sneaking around. But, no, if I'm going to be able to keep fooling the people in Hydra who haven't yet figured out I'm not theirs to control anymore, I need to keep the hair as is. My handlers didn't do anything with it since it couldn't grow all that much at a time. Cutting it would be too obvious a change. Nor should I be seen leaving here in the morning. I'll be fine, Steve. Stop worrying. You already did the important part in bringing me back."

"You didn't sneak around either. Maybe the girls," he said, chuckling, before nodding. "Let's take them down, all of them and then you come home for good… and you get a haircut, because really-" He shook his head, before smiling brightly. "I didn't do anything other than telling you what you used to tell me. I knew that you'd only listen to yourself, but don't ask me not to worry. I've worried about you since we were children. It's how it works. You stay safe and we'll see you this weekend, okay?"

"Good. Then I don't have to stop trying to protect you, seeing as we're continuing old habits," Bucky retorted with a grin as he stood up. "Watch over this one, TJ. He has this thing against admitting when he needs to lean on people. It was nice meeting you. I'll see ya around, Steve."

TJ watched the man with his face slip out the window he probably came in through, closing it behind him again, and shook his head. "I'm not high, drunk, or dreaming, am I?"

"You're not high or dreaming. You might be on your way to getting drunk," he said, taking TJ's glass from his hand and putting it down on the coffee table. He shifted so he could look at TJ. "Are you really okay? I know hearing how much you look alike isn't the same as seeing it." He frowned a little thinking about the night. "How much of the conversation did you hear? Is there anything you want to know?"

"Definitely not the same." Rubbing nervously at the back of his neck, TJ shook his head. "I don't even know where to start. I didn't hear much. Woke up and heard voices, but nothing distinct until I got up to investigate. You heard me pretty quickly." He looked up accusingly, but there was a teasing angle to the half-smile he gave Steve. "The bed was cold."

"I can remedy that if you like," he said with a grin. "We don't have to talk about this right now. If you need time to wrap your head around it, that's fine. Or I can drive you home if you want. We can talk there as much as we can talk here. Tell me what's going to make things better."

"Hm." TJ tilted his head and pretended to think about the question, finger tapping his chin. "I don't know. Going back to my mother's or crawling back into bed with you. Gee, I don't know. That's a tough choice." Leaning over, he kissed Steve softly, reassuring himself Steve was still his Steve. "Take me to bed kiss me until this all feels normal. Then we can talk."

"I think I can manage that." He got up and waited for TJ to stand, before putting an arm around his shoulders. He turned off the light as they walked to the bedroom. He stopped when they reached inside. Standing in the dark, fingers gripping TJ's hips, he pressed their bodies together and kissed him gently, but over and over until he could hear TJ's breathing get harsher and faster. "Let's get to bed."

"If only you meant that less literally," TJ teased, stealing another kiss...or two, before reluctantly pulling away just far enough to see the bit of light from the window reflected in Steve's eyes. It would be impossible for him to say how long it had been, if ever, since something as simple as kissing -- without tongue! -- had this kind of effect on him. Taking Steve's hand with a smile, he tugged him toward the bed, where he slid under the covers and immediately reached for Steve. "Never thought I'd enjoy going to bed with anyone and not having sex," he said quietly. "I was wrong."

The bed dipped as Steve joined TJ and put his arms around his… "You're my boyfriend. I have a boyfriend. I've never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend. I'm still stuck at the part that I have a boyfriend. Not ready for the sex yet." He leaned down and kissed TJ's neck. "You know that sooner or later you will have to tell your parents, unless you want to keep sneaking around and that's just… Once they know, we can stay in bed as long as we want. We won't have to wake up in the middle of the night like we're doing something wrong."

TJ's eyelids fluttered and he sighed in contentment, only to groan softly. "I know. I know. I'm just afraid they'll throw you out of the house when we do. You're supposed to be there for security, not to take advantage of their son...or let him take advantage of you, whichever version of me they feel like having that day, the worthless screw-up or the weakling in need of coddling." It was a wonder he didn't have a personality disorder with the back and forth his parents did between those two concepts. Threading his fingers through Steve's hair, he smiled. "And, yes, I'm your boyfriend. I don't want to hide this like a shameful secret, either. So, we can tell them soon...tomorrow, if you want. Best to get it over with quickly, right?"

"So telling them that we aren't having sex isn't going to work, is it?" Steve joked. He rolled on his back and pulled TJ on top of him. "I want. Tomorrow is soon enough, and don't worry about them throwing me out. I'm still the one keeping them alive. They like breathing more than they like their indignation."

He reached up and kissed TJ. "I'm sorry we woke you up. You really should get some sleep. I'll wake you up when we need to go."

"Missing you woke me up," TJ said softly, running his nose lightly along Steve's. "And they're never going to believe we're not having sex," he added with a huff of laughter. Tucking his head comfortably under Steve's chin, he closed his eyes with a quiet sigh. At least for now, he felt like Steve wasn't going anywhere, or with anyone else. "Are you going to sleep, too?"

"Missing me?" Steve smiled happily at that. He was a romantic at heart and did nothing to hide that. "I'm not leaving you, TJ. I don't commit lightly and I have no intention of going anywhere. We can both get some sleep."

* * *

They ended up returning to the house around three in the morning. Steve stayed in TJ's room until dawn and then went downstairs. The rest of the household woke up at different times, but they all ended up around a table upstairs having breakfast. The Secret Service stayed in the shadows, but Steve accepted food on the first day and now ate with them whatever they offered.

He waited until they were all there, before he spoke up. "We might have a lead on why this family has been targeted. TJ might actually be the intended victim."

"Is that a joke?" Elaine asked.

"Thanks, Mama." TJ rolled his eyes, having not expected any better response.

"Mom!" Doug's eyes went wide and he looked at TJ for a moment. "What have you done?"

Steve sighed inwardly. Even Doug's question sounded accusatory, although he doubted that Doug meant it that way. "TJ didn't do anything. We think that he might have been targeted because of his resemblance to a man who used to work for Hydra. We're going to have to go to New York to test this theory. I checked with your details and you don't have any campaign meetings for this weekend. Unless there's something you haven't shared with the secret service or your private security, we're going to drive up at the end of the week."

Doug shook his head. "No, we're clear. We're trying to space out her appearances now that her name is out there."

"Who's going to go and who's going to stay?" Bud asked.

"I'll be the only one driving with TJ. We have more security in New York. The rest of my team will stay in town," Steve answered with a professional smile.

"Shouldn't you stay here until we're sure?" Bud continued. "There's five of us here and only TJ is going."

Steve looked at TJ for a moment and nodded. "I'm aware of that, but I'm confident that my theory will pan out, which means he's in more danger. And my team is very good. Everyone will be safe here."

TJ met Steve's look with a tiny smile and one raised eyebrow. His boyfriend's exasperation with the usual disregard TJ got from his family was heartening and acted like a buffer to the usual pain he experienced during these little tête-à-têtes. "Please don't everyone trip over yourselves in your concern for my well-being. I promise not to keep the super soldier away for too long in case the extra security, Sam, Clark, _and_ three other Avengers who are all staying behind can't do the job."

"That's not what your father meant, sweetheart. He was only referring to numbers," Elaine said with a smile.

"Of course he was, Mama."

Steve went to put his glass in the sink and when he returned, he put a hand on TJ's shoulder, rubbing his thumb over TJ's neck. "Everyone will be safe, but we need to figure this out and quickly. The sooner we do, the sooner we can find who's behind the attack and then everyone will be free to live their lives normally."

"Would living your life include doing my son?" Elaine asked with a look leveled in Steve's direction.

Steve pretended to think and then shook his head. "No, it might include being involved with him for a long time, learning to love him and being part of his life for as long as he wants me."

Bud choked on the coffee, spitting it all over the table, before looking up. "Are you high?"

"Captain America doesn't do drugs, Dad. Bad example for today's youth." TJ surprised himself by having to hold in laughter instead of getting upset. He'd never seen his father do a spit take over anything before. That in and of itself made all the bullshit worth it. Hiding his smirk, he reached up to put his hand over Steve's and squeezed gently.

"He can do all the drugs he wants if it means he's parading that butt and those abs around this house more."

"Nana!" TJ laughed. "My boyfriend. Look without touching."

Margaret smiled and patted her grandson's cheek. "I promise." She looked over at Steve. "No touching unless he hurts you and then painful touching."

"TJ-" Elaine barely had time to start before she was interrupted.

"Mom, leave it. He's got a boyfriend. He's never used the word boyfriend." Doug shook his head at his brother, but he was smiling. "You have a boyfriend."

TJ smiled back.

"And imagine how well it would play during the elections," Susan said calmly. "Captain America involved with former and possible future first son. Framed correctly the public would love it."

Doug looked at her and grinned. "Now, we'd have to find a reporter who could present it the right way."

"You know I don't cover the gossips and society pages, and it'll look bad after people find out about us, and they will," Susan answered.

"She's right. We'll have to find someone else to do it," Elaine said.

"I have a few friends I could call," Susan said with a tilt of her head.

Steve listened, not believing what he was hearing. "Excuse me." He waited until he had everyone's attention. "No one is going to know anything until this problem is solved and even then, if and when we let people know will be our decision. Mine and TJ's. It's not going to become an endorsement from Captain America or the Avengers. It's just me and TJ."

TJ squeezed Steve's hand again. Nothing they said would stop his family if they truly wanted to use his relationship with Steve to further his mother's campaign. TJ knew better than that. He'd have to talk to Steve later, when they were alone. Come up with their own strategy...and then wait for the fallout. "When it comes out, anything that's printed is going to be true. I'm dating Steve Rogers, who happens to also be Captain America. It doesn't need spinning or covering up. This isn't a publicity stunt, like when Dad cried on television. This is our life."

"And it's not something that can be dealt with right now," Steve put in, delaying another argument for TJ. Maybe if they saw them around each other long enough, it wouldn't be an issue. "We just wanted you to know what's going on, because we didn't want to keep it a secret from TJ's family." He looked down at TJ. "I have to get things ready for today. Get some sleep and I'll come and get you later." He leaned down and kissed TJ gently. When he stood up, he nodded at the others. "We'll be ready to leave when you are."

Silence reigned as everyone watched the man and his shield walk out of the room. Doug was the first to recover. "Seems fair. We want to rule America; he wants to ride Captain America. Well done, TJ."

"Dougie!" Laughing, TJ threw his napkin across the table at his brother. Then he grinned. "You have no idea how much. So, Dad? Want another cup of coffee?"

Elaine put down the napkin. "We need to go. We can continue this tonight."

Doug tried not to laugh as he got up and buttoned his jacket. "TJ, I'm going to come back this afternoon so we can go over your appearances for the month." It was an excuse. TJ would do one maybe two interview and Doug would need only a few minutes, but now no one would blink when he returned home early.

In the end, it wasn't too early, but still before his parents and Susan. Doug went straight to TJ's room and sat on one of the chairs there. "Your boyfriend took me home. He's downstairs, but you can't talk to him until you talk to me." He loosened his tie and leaned forward. "Captain America? What is it with you? First a closeted conservative Republican and now a conservative wet dream. He's the epitome of traditional values. He's as old fashioned as apple pie. Are you-" Doug sighed. "I don't want to see you hurt, TJ and you and him ... You don't exactly strive for truth, justice and the American dream."

TJ turned away from the closet, where he'd been standing, boxer-clad, trying to decide what to wear if they decided to check in at the club that night. Folding his arms, he stared at his brother. "Am I what, Doug? Happy? In the first healthy relationship of my life?"

Pulling on a pair of jeans, he moved to sit on the bed. "Steve is nothing like Sean and politics have nothing to do with whether I'm with him or not. He doesn't lie to me. He doesn't take my bullshit. But, he also listens to me and cares about what I think, how I feel. He actually wants to get to know me instead of just fucking me and taking me for whatever he can get. He wants to protect me, but he doesn't want to hide our relationship like it's some shameful secret. He treats me like a person instead of just an extension of this family...or a foot in the door. If all that's because of traditional values, I can't say it's really all that bad."

Doug stared at his twin, fingers pressed against his mouth and he wasn't even sure he was talking to his brother anymore. TJ sounded almost grown-up, but then his brother had those moments before reverting back to his standard behavior. "You haven't even fucked him, have you? That little comment at breakfast, you haven't. God, you have it bad, but you understand that it can't last, right? He might be about traditional values, but you fuck around, do blow and only seem happy when you're surrounded by a bunch of idiots in a club. Opposites attract, but then also explode when they get too close."

TJ felt like his brother had just slapped him in the face. Sucking in a breath that hollowed his cheeks out, he pressed his lips together in a line. "No, I don't understand that. What I understand is that there's one thing all of those things have in common: they let me forget I'm part of this family. They have nothing to do with being happy." He got up and went back to the closet, turning his back on Doug and returning to the task of finding something to wear. "The only one of those things that actually makes me _happy_ is the club and there's more than just 'idiots' there. But, you'd have to actually go there to know that."

"Partying with you has a way of blowing up in my face," Doug answered. "In fact, watching that, watching me doing something incredibly stupid should tell you how unrealistic this is. I tried with Annie. God knows that I tried. I picked the woman who was my opposite and we saw how well that worked out." He snorted. "I didn't even wait to get married to cheat on her. Dad showed more restraint, but that's not the point. The point is that you are too different and the differences eventually will be too much. If it were me or Dad, it wouldn't matter so much, but you fall fast, fall hard and do stupid things when it's over."

"Well, it's a good thing I never expected any of you to be happy for me." TJ closed the closet door and pulled a grey henley over his head. "I'll be sure to break-up with the best person I've ever known and spend the rest of my life hooking up with the junkie idiots that have made me _so_ happy in the past. Are we done, now? I should go down and make the best of the time I have left with my boyfriend before it's over and I go back to being the screw-up the rest of you want."

TJ didn't wait for a reply, however, before he turned on his heel and walked out. He hadn't expected any better and he was tired of arguing when not one person in his family was ever going to see him as anything better than the mistakes of his past.

Doug was getting sick and tired of the teenager routine that TJ had been pulling for over a decade. He walked after his brother and grabbed his arm. "Is it really so difficult to imagine that I care about you? I get that you don't give a fuck about anyone but yourself and thinking that someone might be worried is a stretch for you, but I care and you have patterns. You do something, you find someone, you're happy, you're on top of the world and then it ends and you crash and burn and I get to pick up the pieces. So I get to worry twice, about you and about me, oh and let's not forget about all the work I'll have to do to make sure Mom isn't affected." He let go and shook his head. "You really don't get to play the injured party, TJ, not anymore. Everyone has given you chances time and time again. I gave you second and third and fourth chances, and you lied to my face. You aren't the victim here."

TJ didn't even know where to begin. He wondered what counted as being given a chance. The number of times they'd throw money at the problem, covered it up, and sent him away? Finally, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked away. "You're right. It is difficult for me to imagine that you or anyone cares about me. Not because I don't care about anyone but myself, but because I hate myself. Literally. I've hated myself ever since..." Pausing to think about it a moment, he sighed. "Ever since I was fourteen and forced to come out. Whatever chances you gave me were too late to do any good, Doug. By the time we were both out of school and back here, I'd already convinced myself I was never going to be good enough for this family and if no one else cared, there wasn't any reason for me to care. I'm not a victim, but I'm not like the rest of you, either. I'm...more like Steve than you might imagine, than I ever realized until I started spending time with him."

He spoke haltingly, figuring things out for himself in the very moments in which he spoke the words. "My whole life, I've believed the way to be a true Hammond is to not care about people more than politics and it's why I've always failed. Because I _do_ care...Somewhere along the line, through intent or example, I learned that caring was weakness and needed to be cut out at all cost...And I care too much...I care too much about pleasing Mama, Nana, you...even Dad. And I fail because I try too hard to be as uncaring as I've been taught I should be...Then I really do stop caring, except, I don't. I still care and it makes me feel like even more of a failure because I'm stuck in this cycle where I think I have to stop caring in order to succeed and I can't succeed because I care too much about failing all of you. I don't have the temperament for politics. I hate them, honestly. But, I still try to play that game because nothing else seems to make me good enough...and it just cycles back from there. _That_ is the pattern. It's not that something ends that makes me crash, Doug. It's the failure to be good enough to be accepted as part of this family and not just tolerated as the one who'll never measure up because he lets his emotions control him."

Taking a deep breath, he turned to look at his brother face to face again. TJ didn't know where this realization was coming from, but it felt right. "I can't stop caring. So, I need to stop trying not to care. And that means letting myself fall. Maybe Steve and I won't work. But, fucking around and keeping everyone at arm's length because I'm afraid of letting myself care hasn't worked so well up until now, either. I haven't been happy, no matter what you think."

"What makes you think that we don't care? That I don't care? I've done everything possible to help you, but you only showed up at my place when you needed something. You're just like them. No one in this house would know if I'm dead or alive until there's a crisis I have to fix. Do you know how hard it is for me to always be good enough? Just good enough, because I could never be better than that, and if I make one mistake it's the end of the world, but if you make a mistake, it's a phone call and 'Doug, see what your brother needs'. " Doug stopped, because this didn't even have anything to do with Steve anymore. "It's fine. Just go. I'll email you the list of appearances for the month later." This time, it was Doug's turn to turn around and walk off.

TJ didn't grab for his brother's arm, he just caught up and blocked his path. "This, Doug. This is what makes me think no one cares. The minute things get emotional, you shut down. I do it, too. But, that's what I'm saying. We all do this. And it has to stop. I _do_ care. I'm sorry for pretending not to care so well you believed it. The only reason I don't go to see you more is because I honestly didn't think you wanted me to. I hated having to go to you for help, hated myself for sinking so low I had to bother you. You...you sound like them, like you don't have time to be bothered with me and are only doing so because Mama told you to fix it and make it go away. I thought you were happier when I wasn't around. You know, Dad calls it 'a stunt', but I tried to kill myself because I honestly thought it would make everyone happier. If you didn't have to clean up after my mistakes, if I wasn't here to annoy you, everything would be better. I could stop hating myself and no one else would have to deal with me."

Now, he did reach out, not for his brother's arm, but to cup his hand around the back of Doug's neck. "I guess, when I was sent away, I let myself start believing you agreed with them. I...I never felt like this before I was sent away to boarding school. I always knew, back then, you were the one person I would always be able to trust to be there. But, somehow, being alone for so long, it all got twisted up in my head and I started to believe you'd turned your back on me, too. I'm sorry, Doug. I love you and I care if you're dead or alive. I told Steve that first night that I'd do anything he asked if it would keep you safe because even though I'm fucked up as shit, you're more important to me than anything, Doug. I'm here in this house because I love you and if keeping you safe means dealing with...all this...sober...that's what I'll do."

"Right, poor you, stuck here, because of me." Doug put a hand on his hip as he stepped back. "Do you even hear yourself? Do you? And I'm supposed to believe any of that. You came to me for help, because no one else would. You came only for help, because you couldn't be bothered the other times. And now it's our fault that you tried to kill yourself, but TJ, you did it, because you didn't want to deal with Sean and the pain. It was for you. Just like it was for you at the club. You aren't thinking of us; you're thinking about yourself. And guess what? You're not even here because of me. Apparently, we're all here, because of you. I've had to bring Susan into this zoo, because of you. So don't turn it around and make it sound like you're making this huge sacrifice for me. Look, I'm sorry I said anything. Have fun with your Captain Spandex."

TJ curled his hands into balls at his sides. This wasn't getting them anywhere. No matter how much he tried to explain, Doug, like their parents, seemed to only hear what he wanted. "I'm sorry, Doug."

Swallowing against the emotion clogging his throat, he turned to go back into his room. Steve had been wrong. Trying to be who he was with his family was never going to be acceptable. TJ would just have to find a way to live with that.

* * *

Steve parked on the underground garage below the Avengers Tower. He checked out the place before letting TJ out, even though it was one of the most secure buildings in the city. When he got to the elevator, he punched his code and without turning, he spoke up. "Come on, let me give you a ride up, because if you try to hack into JARVIS, Tony will kill you."

Bucky materialized from the shadows, causing TJ to blink in surprise and turn to raise an eyebrow at Steve. He didn't think he was ever going to get used to some of the things Steve could do.

"What took you so long?" Bucky teased, stepping inside the elevator car with a smirk. "I've been here for hours."

The elevator doors opened and Steve they stepped into the lab. This room was Tony and Bruce's baby. No one else spent time here unless they needed to talk to one of them. It wasn't any different today.

Tony turned around and walked toward the three men. "Cap." He didn't even look at Steve, but instead he went straight for Bucky. "Sergeant, it's a pleasure." He grabbed Bucky's hand and shook it, but his eyes were on the metal one. His hands joined just as quickly. He pushed the sleeve up. "This is amazing. The technology they possessed is equivalent to prototypes the military has now. Building on this, we could do so much, especially if you're going to join us. He's going to join us?" he asked finally looking at Steve.

"Hello to you, too, Tony. Bruce, how are you? Why don't you meet Bucky and TJ?" Steve said with a smile. "Bucky Barnes, TJ Hammond, Tony Stark and Dr. Bruce Banner."

"Right, yes, hello." Tony barely looked at TJ, who was still trying to process the presence of a metal arm that had been hidden by a jacket and gloves the other night, as now. "Bruce, you have to look at this, but tests before. Oh look, Bruce is already here with a prick, two pricks. We can do this quickly."

Bruce rolled his eyes. "We just need a few drops. Mr. Hammond, if I could have your finger." He pricked the finger, and letting a few drops fell into a slide. He did the same with Barnes. "JARVIS, run full genetic analysis," he said after he put the slides under a scanner of Tony's invention. Between all of them and their strange genetic make-ups, it had become important to have a way to check blood without going to the hospital. 

"How long, JARVIS?" Tony asked, running his hands over arm.

"Five point four hours for a full genetic map, Sir. I can have a preliminary report with mostly common marks analyzed in twenty-one minutes."

"Let's start with that, and maybe we can scan this, see what we can add, weapons, maybe a gauntlet like mine."

"Steve, make him stop before I do," Bucky growled.

"That's his arm, Tony," Steve said patiently. "How long have you been up?"

"What? I'm perfectly all right. I'm just looking at long term possibilities," Tony answered.

"JARVIS, how long has he been up?" Steve asked, knowing full well what it meant when Tony got into his maniacal states.

"Thirty-one hours, Captain."

"Traitor," Tony muttered.

"You said that you were leaving the lab last night when I was," Bruce said.

"And I did. I needed a snack and coffee, lots of coffee and clean clothes or you'd complain if you saw me in the same clothes this morning," Tony answered.

"You're going to bed when we're done. JARVIS, lock out Tony from the lab when we leave," Steve said.

"Sir can override your orders."

Steve felt like JARVIS was almost sulking at that idea and smiled. "Tony will not override my orders or you will let me know and I'll send Natasha to deal with him.

"Yes, Dad," Tony said, rolling his eyes. "I'm doing perfectly all right. I might be a little hyper, because of the coffee, but I'm capable of thinking. Someone is trying to kill us, Steve. I need to find who."

"We, _we_ need to find who, and if you don't sleep, you'll make it easier on them, because you aren't as sharp," Steve said. He guided Tony to the wheeled stool. "Sit, take a break for a few minutes. I'm here for a while; I'll make sure that nothing happens."

"That's your secret, isn't it? You wanted to be a mother hen," Tony said while he sat down.

Steve snorted. "Oh yes, it was my biggest ambition, right after winning Miss America, but my chest size was too small, luckily I had Captain America to fall back on."

"I knew that under all of that spandex there was a show off." Tony looked at Steve for a moment. "You are lacking in the boobs area, but you do have a nice ass, though." 

"Thank you. Your validation brings tears to my eyes," Steve answered.

"Before you cry, Captain, I believe I found something," JARVIS interrupted.

Tony pushed himself and wheeled toward Bruce who was opening up a holographic image to look at the result. "I'll be damned," Tony said.

Bruce looked at Steve. "They might not be going after the resemblance. They are related. Normally, I'd say cousins, uncles, but we might look back."

"Wait. Did you say related?" TJ blinked before looking more closely at Bucky, who didn't seem quite as surprised.

"That would make sense. It seemed unlikely we could look so similar without some genetic connection. I didn't know a lot of my own cousins. Irish immigrant family," Bucky explained. "My grandparents on both sides came over from the mother country during the famine. But, I suppose you could start looking for my sisters. I had three of them."

"You're taking this really well," TJ muttered.

Bucky just shrugged. "A relative who looks just like me is among the more normal things I've had to deal with lately."

"Right. Well, if you need the records, it should be easy to find mine." TJ could do this. He could be matter-of-fact about finding out his World War II boyfriend's formerly dead best friend was actually his own relation. Piece of coke...cake. Yeah, he really needed something. "Genealogists prepare family histories in advance much the same as news outlets have ready-made obituaries for celebrities. I think there's even a website that has all the presidential pedigrees posted. They usually do major presidential candidates, too. So, you can find my parents' family trees pretty easily. Only catch is I don't know if they've dug up my mother's birth father. Barrish was Nana's second husband and adopted Mama. I don't know his name, just that he was a trumpet player in Vegas when she was still a showgirl."

"That would be too far back for this kind of match," Bruce said. "Your grandmothers, what are their names?"

"Nana's maiden name was...Roberts, I think? Margaret Roberts. We called Dad's mother Grandma Kate...I don't know her maiden name. I was only about eight or nine when she passed." TJ frowned apologetically. "Sorry, I never paid attention. The emphasis was always placed more on Grandpa Hammond's line than Nana Kate's." Maybe Doug had been right about TJ's self-absorption after all.

"Working class Irish immigrant family?" Bucky huffed softly and shook his head. "It would make sense. And my baby sister was Kathleen...Katie. She was barely sixteen when I shipped out. I never heard about an engagement. But, she would have only been about eighteen when I 'died' and I wasn't exactly getting regular letters on the front. ...If it's her."

"Baby Katie?" Steve smiled at the name. "I …" He looked up at Bucky. "I didn't check on them. I should have, but I couldn't. I didn't want them to see me without you." In retrospect, it had been stupid. Bucky's 'death' was still fresh for him, but they had seven decades to deal with it.

"You can stop the sob story, Old Man," Tony said. "Kathleen Barnes married Hank Hammond in 1948. They had a son, Bud Hammond in 1951, who became President…. blah blah blah. We have your relationship, but what's the connection with Hydra."

"Could be genetics or could be that now that Bucky is in their radar, so is the rest of the family," Steve answered.

"But they didn't go after their father," Bruce pointed out.

"Maybe that stupid computer figures that he's not a player anymore," Steve said with a shrug. "It's still a computer program. It bases its decision on probabilities, but it doesn't take into consideration people's personality, changes, fate. It certainly didn't predict Bucky helping us bringing them down."

"Or maybe it's not after the Barnes family," Bucky said quietly, looking at Steve. "Maybe they're not on the list at all, but were manually added or their names were put where you could find them. Maybe you're the real target, Steve. Hydra knew who Winter Soldier was. Pierce knew. If they lost me, whether I went off the grid or turned, they could still use TJ and his family to get to you. Think about it. If Hydra threatened my descendants, what would you do? All you had was a surname, right? The only reason to believe it's TJ or his brother is because of one attack. Maybe it was vague on purpose, Hydra adjusting the plan according to how you reacted. I've been taking out Hydra facilities for months and haven't heard anything about this algorithm being in use until I talked to Fury and then you. What if this isn't about getting to the Hammonds, or to me, but rather using us to play on your loyalties and bring down you and your team?"

Steve thought about it for a moment and then shook his head. "I was standing right next to Bud and nothing happened. And even if they are trying to confuse things, why the other men? It seems too chaotic even for Hydra, and we'd have to assume that Nick has collected incorrect information. It doesn't feel right, Buck. They don't need to go to this extreme to cover up that I'm a target. I'm the guy that brought them down. Of course I'm a target. We've been destroying their bases since April. We are all targets. We know that."

Bucky shrugged. "Hydra plays a long game. Project Insight was the culmination of decades of infiltration and manipulation. Like I said, maybe they added 'Hammond' to a list of actual targets, combining objectives. Maybe it's focusing on the brothers because they think they can manipulate the parents into working for them in order to protect their children."

TJ snorted. "Not likely. My parents would simply state they don't negotiate with terrorists and watch their poll numbers go up as the country sympathized with their plight," he added by way of explanation when Bucky raised an eyebrow.

"For hostages that aren't their children, soldiers..."

"You don't know them."

Bucky stared at TJ and then looked at Steve, but didn't push the issue. "Okay, in any case, you're the strategist, Steve. I'm just the weapon. Tell me where to point and I go. I never had the patience for the long game."

"An algorithm wouldn't know your parents." Steve hated to agree with TJ, but he'd sat through too many discussions to dismiss what he was saying. "Let's just make sure that there are no hostages, and really our strategy doesn't changes. We have to protect the family and we need to find out who's pulling the string."

"We had a theory about that," Tony said. "Or Rhodey had a theory. For those drones to make it through air space, they must have access to our flight permits. FAA, Air Force, NSA It's not very narrowing, but I can have JARVIS check who has access to those records, narrow it down to people who aren't on vacation, suspension, transfers-"

"Then give Bucky the names. No offense to JARVIS, but I like for people to check them out," Steve said, "and maybe some names will ring a bell."

"Faces will be more helpful," Bucky said. "I only ever was given a few names. No point in learning names of people who could be dead the next time I was activated."

TJ was coming to the conclusion it hadn't been the late hour that put the conversation over his head the last time. The more Bucky...Uncle Bucky?...spoke, the less TJ felt like he knew anything about the man. "One of these days, someone is going to explain to me exactly what happened to you," he said, frowning at the man in question. "If we're family, I have a right to understand what you're talking about, right?"

Bucky blinked and then sighed softly. "Yeah, family has the right." Just wouldn't like the understanding. "We'll make time to talk. For now, what's the game plan, Mon Capitaine?"

"Okay, so JARVIS, forward the files of these people to all of us. We work that angle, find what's going on. I'll have Natasha reach out to Nick just in case his information might be incorrect and we have to rethink our theories. Bruce, get the final genetic map, just in case there are other similarities with TJ. Tony-" Steve stopped. "You get some sleep and that's an order. Buck, we need to sit down and talk before you do more. We'll have to speak with the rest of the family as well." It was strange how _TJ's_ family had suddenly become _the_ family once he knew that they were Bucky's family. "I'd say that we should talk first, but you have to see this. They are nothing like Katie. You wouldn't believe me if I told you and you do need to see it to know what we're facing."

"I'm not going to like this, am I?" Bucky asked, thinking about what TJ had said a few minutes ago.

"No, you aren't," Steve answered. "Remember: no killing the relatives if they insult me." And that would be the most immediate concern.

"This is going to be the strangest family reunion ever," TJ muttered. "What do I call you, now, anyway? No offence, but Uncle Bucky is just...no. Bad movie references."

"How about just Bucky?"

TJ nodded. "Bucky it is."

"Okay, then we're off. Tony-"

"Yes, Mother, I'm going to bed," Tony said standing up, and he finally looked at TJ. "Going into the family business? We could get you an armor if you need."

Steve chuckled. "Go to sleep, Tony and leave TJ alone."

"I'm just saying, he doesn't need to get his arms sawed off for me to make something for him," Tony answered.

"Bye, Tony." Steve stepped into the elevator and pressed his code to get access to garage. He waived at Tony as the doors closed on him. "Iron Man, genius, philanthropist, playboy and three year old who needs someone to tell him when to sleep." He turned to Bucky. "I assume you know where we're going. Meet you at the house?"

"Apple doesn't fall far from the tree, it seems." Bucky nodded. He'd done his own recon on the situation before and after talking to Steve the first time. "Yeah, I'll see you there. Do me a favor and warn your friends I'll be there so Romanoff doesn't shoot me on sight."

"I love that you don't even care about the Secret Service," he answered, laughing. "All right. See you there."

* * *

Steve told TJ to get everyone in the living room while he waited for Bucky. He wanted to make sure that there were no problem not just with Natasha but with the Secret Service and private security. She might recognize Bucky, but the rest might get confused by two versions of TJ. When he finally arrived, Steve showed him the way. "They are… different from us," he whispered. "Expect lots of logic and not so many emotions."

"It's Katie's son," Bucky breathed, knowing Steve's hearing would pick it up. "How different can they be?" He was truly hoping TJ's assessment of his parents' reactions to him being in danger was wrong. He couldn't imagine anyone in their family not sacrificing everything for the other members of their family.

"Night and day, sun and the moon, do I keep going with the analogies?" He sighed. "TJ is … hurt, and things feel worse for him, but he's not wrong either. I believe their heart is in the right place. They really want to do what's best for this country, but they have been in politics for so long that they can't stop thinking like everything is one political maneuver, which makes them very calculating. Even when they care, they come off as cold. They are also very scathing. I need you to keep your cool in there."

Bucky smiled ruefully. "You still see the best in people, don't you? Alright, I'll try. If nothing else, I'd like to meet TJ's brother, Doug. Even if it's too late for the parents, maybe I can be there for the two of them."

Steve closed his eyes for a moment. "It's not good there either. I overheard a conversation, hard not to when I'm paying attention to everything and they are so used to talking like all the agents around them are deaf. They should be what we are, family, brothers, but they can't even talk to each other." He really would have preferred going into battle than this, but instead he opened the door and walked in first, smile on his face. "I'm glad everyone is here."

"Do we finally know what's going on?" Bud asked.

"We actually might have a better idea," Steve said, before stepping aside and showing Bucky. "Everyone, I'd like you to meet James Buchanan Barnes, otherwise known as Bucky." He turned his head toward Bucky. "That's Bud Hammond, Katie's son. His former wife, Elaine Barrish, her mother Margaret Barrish. That's Doug, Susan Berg, and you know TJ."

"Holy shit, Bucky Barnes!" Margaret exclaimed, eyes going wide as she looked from the coffee mug in her hand to the two men in front of her. "First Captain America, now Captain America and one of his Howling Commandos. I think I'm ten years old all over again. And you-"

While she stared, TJ came over to stand next to Steve and Bucky. He didn't say anything, just took pity on his newly discovered uncle walking into this family.

Bucky gave Margaret a sheepish grin and a nod. "I was that, yes, ma'am." He turned to look at the man, Bud, who was his nephew, his sister's son. But, he didn't see much of his sister in the slick features, the sharp-eyed stare that was at odds with the feigned apathy in his posture. It was Bud, he was watching carefully as he said, "Katie was my baby sister."

It was Elaine who reacted first and went to pour both of them some scotch. She handed it to him, while she was watching her son's doppelganger. "Say hello before you start thinking about the campaign." Not that she blamed her husband. Her wheels were turning with the possibilities, not just of the campaign, but how they could use this to protect TJ.

"Yes, of course, Sugar." He got up, glass in hand. "Mama didn't like to talk about her brother or the war, kept saying she'd lost two brothers. I never did put it together." It had never seemed important when he was looking to the future and the White House.

"What my husband-"

"Former husband," Doug put in.

"Is trying to say is that's very good to meet you," Elaine finished.

"Oh leave it alone, Dougie. Your mother forgets the former when she thinks I'm fucking up. She'll remember during interviews." Bud finally stopped staring and offered Bucky his hand. "It is a pleasure to meet you."

Bucky took the hand firmly, smiling despite his misgivings from even that brief exchange. "If Katie didn't tell you, there's no reason you should have known. History seems to have ignored the fact Steve and his mother were as much a part of the family as if they were blood." He cast a smirk at his best friend. "It's not as flashy as the legend."

"The reality's pretty good," TJ said softly, looking at Steve out of the corner of his eye, and Bucky smiled.

"I meant that I never put your identity together with my mother," Bud answered. "Imagine what we could have done with that information."

Elaine snorted. "You were still President and everyone loved you," she said as she approached the group. "Mr. Barnes." She offered her own hand. "As much as it's very nice to meet you, are you the reason they are trying to kill my children?"

"Mama!"

Bucky shook his head at TJ as he took Elaine's hand. "Sergeant, Ma'am. Or, James. Unfortunately, we're still not entirely certain. It is possible they are being targeted because they're my family. But, that still does not explain why not Bud as well, at the very least." Or why Hydra had let Bud become President, he suddenly realized, glancing at Steve. Someone would have been sent, _he_ would have been sent, to eliminate him. "I believe that was part of what Steve wanted to talk to everyone about, however, not simply to give me the chance to meet the younger generations of the Barnes family."

Elaine leveled a look at TJ. "Someone is trying to kill you and I want to know why. I'll remember my manners when there are reporters around." She turned toward Susan. "Present company excluded."

"Anything I learn in this situation is off the record," Susan answered. "Doug and I have an agreement on what's fair game."

"Which will need to be revised when people start figuring it out that you're living with me," Doug said. 

"I know, but we'll worry about that later. I can always write on the Republicans with a disclaimer," Susan noted.

"And boy, do we have scoops for you," Bud said.

"You can discuss the campaign later, as Ms. Barrish pointed out, we do have other concerns right now." Steve had waited to see if Doug would even acknowledge that Bucky was there, but it seemed that this was all they were going to get, even if the man's eyes kept shifting between his brother and Bucky. "Unfortunately, what we have at this point are theories."

"We've been listening to a lot of theories, Captain." Elaine took a sip of her scotch and then sat down. "Most people assume that Sergeant Barnes is dead. We even have a nice big exhibit at the Smithsonian. Obviously you knew and these people know it, too. It seems to me that if you were really like brothers both you or him could be the real reason my family is in danger."

"And I'm not part of the family," Bud said, taking out his cigar and lighting it. "All the paper will tell you that. My family can't stand my guts. The last part might be true, depending on the day." 

"Only when you can't keep it in your pants," Elaine answered.

"Which we are never mentioning aloud," Doug said. "We're going to have to change that narrative, too if we're stuck in this house for much longer."

Bud puffed out the smoke. "I support your mother's campaign. She's smart, capable, and she should be the first woman to become president. We'll poll different speeches and see what sticks. I'm not letting your mother lose this election, not after the idiots we've had recently as president." He turned to stare at Bucky. "I think it's been long enough now. Do we get your endorsement? The Captain here doesn't do politics, just my son, but what about you?"

"The Captain doesn't do politics, he does what's _right_ ," Bucky said tightly, understanding now why Steve had warned him about keeping his cool. "And this is not going to be a conversation about politics. Your _sons_ are in danger, whether because of their relation to me or not. That is the only discussion we are having right now. Doug and TJ's safety is the number one priority above _everything_ else." There were a great many things Bucky wanted to say to his nephew. But he restrained himself. They couldn't afford to get side-tracked while the boys were in danger. Once they were safe, he would sit down with Bud and Elaine for a _very_ lengthy conversation about priorities.

"And who the hell are you to make that decision?" Doug said with a frown. "We've always been in danger. We've grown up with the Secret Service. People are trying to kill us now and we have security. Unless you know something to put an end to this, we'll still be in danger and we'll still have security. There's nothing practical that we can do about this. There's much we can do about the campaign. This little meeting isn't going to stop the people that want us dead, but at least something productive can come out of it."

"And what if _you_ know something that will put an end to this?" Bucky countered. "That's the point. Hydra, quite frankly, doesn't give a damn about your political campaign. Not unless it hinders or helps them. They care about their own agenda to remake the world. And, if they're targeting you and your brother, it's because they believe you, not your mother and not your father, have done, are doing, or will do something that could stop their advancement. What happened to S.H.I.E.L.D. isn't the end of their machinations. It's not an isolated incident. They believe you and your brother are a threat. The two of you. Talking about your mother's campaign is not going to help us figure out what it is about you and TJ that scares the shit out of a terrorist organization. Talking about theories, talking about the two of you, just might give us the clues we need. But, I don't know you. Steve doesn't know you that well. If you don't talk to us, help us, we won't be able to figure this out."

Doug snorted. "I am the campaign. I eat and sleep the campaign. It's what I've done since her first run. If it's not about the campaign, then you have to talk to TJ."

Susan put a hand on his leg. "They are trying to help."

"No, they are dismissing what we do when we actually are trying to run the country," Doug said. "What did they do? Create an organization that tried to destroy us all?" He looked at the two men. "You have questions, ask the questions, but if you're asking what I do all day, I deal with a campaign and was doing it long before we announced it." 

Bucky shook his head. "I'm not dismissing what you do. But, it's not as important as family. And, if you're both targets, then politics have nothing to do with it for the very reason you just gave. TJ isn't involved in the politics. It can't be just that you're my blood. If that were true, if they were trying to get to me, they'd target your father as well, because it doesn't matter what kind of a man he is. He's family and they'd know I'd come for him. But, they haven't. _That_ is the question. Why you? Why your brother? If there's nothing traditional intelligence work can tell us, then it has to be something only you and he can answer."

Doug laughed. "Family? You show up in here after what is it? Seventy-years and we're family." He kissed Susan's hand, before getting up to fill a glass. He didn't waste time downing half of it, before turning to Bucky. "Your logic sucks and I'm the one getting drunk. If it's because of you, we have no information. If it's about TJ, then talk to him. If it's about me, it's about politics."

"Dougie, we need to find out who's behind this," Elaine said.

"And do you think we'll do that by having people come into our house to tell us what we're supposed to do? You never let anyone tell you what to do." He turned to Bud. "Dad, can you deal with your relatives so we can get back to the important stuff?'

"So what?" TJ said. "That's it? You give up and if they kill you, oh well? You can't put your goddamned politics on hold long enough to care about your own survival? What the fuck, Doug? I thought I was the only suicidal one in this family."

"No, TJ, I'm not suicidal," Doug answered. "I'm saying that I do my job, which is politics and they do their job, which is keeping us alive. I'm saying that talking to us won't help and I'd rather not waste my time, discussing-" He looked at TJ's look-a-like. "What exactly? What do you want to know?"

"I want to know who you are, Doug. Not Douglas Hammond, the public figure who works day and night to see his mother succeed. But, Doug Hammond, the young man who's got something so good about him even Hydra is afraid of him," Bucky answered evenly. "I want to know my grandnephew, who looks so much like the baby sister I loved it actually hurts. I want to know what he thinks about the situation he's in, about why he's been targeted, because it _matters_. It helps me keep you safe. I'm not here to do a job. Protecting you is not my job and no one is paying me to be here. I'm here because I just found out I have family still living and they're in danger. That's it. I don't need another reason to be here. And telling me to talk to TJ doesn't tell me anything about you. It only tells me what he thinks, his version of things. Not yours."

"If Hydra is afraid of me, then it is because of politics. It's what I do, and not just because of my mother. The good we do is because of politics, and I think that this is a nuisance. I have a job to do, instead I'm stuck in this house, and in case you missed the memo, we don't like to spend more than an hour or two together unless it's work, my life is under scrutiny and I had to tell everyone about my relationship when I would have been really happy to keep it a secret for the next few years, for both of our sakes." He took another sip. "Oh and you can leave if you want since it's not your job. God knows any of us would if we could. I think I've covered everything."

Elaine sighed. "Doug enough. You're tired, you've been working too hard. You should take tomorrow off."

"And stay all day here, are you crazy, Mom?"

"We could go fishing," Bud said calmly.

"I'd rather be shot, Dad," Doug said. "We know how well last time went."

"It didn't go so badly. You started talking to me again," Bud pointed out.

"Because you finally told me that I hadn't fucked up Mom's election while getting high with TJ," Doug answered.

Elaine's head snapped up. "Is that why you were late?"

"Of course it was, Mom. When else am I late? And since we're in sharing mode, I proposed to Annie while I was high and had no clue how to get out of that mess. It turns out that a divorce isn't that difficult when you don't care about each other." He looked at Bucky. "Is that enough sharing for you?"

"It's a start." Bucky was starting to get a headache. The way these people, his _family_ , talked to each other...it was like they couldn't actually hear what the others were saying. They were so concerned with saying what they had to say, what they had to do.

"What if we split up?" TJ suggested, looking at Steve. "I know you said it was better for us all to be here. But, nothing's happening. What if we went back to our own places, let them think we've gotten complacent? We could draw them out."

Bucky shook his head sharply. "TJ, no."

"Just hear me out. Let Doug and Dad go back to their regular lives. Let me go back to my apartment. You don't have to leave us alone. Split up to protect us all. But, if they're going to strike again, then, whoever they attack, you'll know who the target is and you'll be able to do your thing from there."

"We don't have the resources, TJ," Steve said. "Your theory stops working the moment that they get their target because we can't be there. We're barely covering things and that's with your parents' secret service detail. We still have Doug and Susan without security and I can't have my team here, be at the club and protect their houses at the same time."

"How about we stay here and just avoid these meetings?" Doug suggested. "Dad wants to be here anyway. Susan and I will stay out of the way. You and TJ can do whatever you like and we can all go back to drinking now."

"The point is to verify Dad's not a target, either. If you're here and he's here, there's no way to tell which of you is the target." Why was Doug the one drinking and TJ was sober? This seemed so wrong. Looking between Steve and Bucky, he focused on convincing the two of them. His family was content to think it was their job to worry about this, anyway. "You've got their details. If you leave Natasha and Clint with them, that will cover it, won't it? Put the extra security we hired at the club. I can stay with you. If you're not enough to keep me safe, nothing is. Sam can stay with Doug and Susan."

"It might work." Bucky hesitated. "I can work with Wilson to protect the two of them, even the odds a little there-"

"See?"

"That's not the point." Shaking his head, Bucky looked from his best friend to his grandnephew. "It would be using you and your brother and your father as bait. If it even worked. You'd be bait in a very shaky trap."

"So, then just go with Doug's way, then. Just split the two of us up. It's my decision, Bucky. If it's the only way..."

Steve shook his head. "TJ, we can't do that. Look, you are already separated enough during the day that it makes you vulnerable, but having you all here when you aren't working gives us the best way to protect you all. There's no guarantee that I can be here all the time. Same for the rest. There are other targets out there. We're spending a lot of our time with your family, because the other targets have security in place already, but we can't turn our backs on them. And I need Bucky out there as well, because he has the freedom to find these people without the press being on top of him." He looked at the people in the room and no one seemed happy. "I thought this might help while giving Bucky the chance to get to know all of you. Obviously it's not working. Perhaps we should ease into this and as Doug suggested, we avoid spending too much time in one room all together."

"There has to be something."

"There is, TJ." Bucky gripped TJ's shoulder reassuringly. "There is a way. And we'll find it. Just may take some time with the limited information we have. But, Steve's right. This isn't getting us anywhere. I wanted to meet my family and I have. That's something. Now, we do what we need to do. We're not giving up. We just need to reassess things and find the angles we're missing."

"And besides, in your little scenario, you seem to forget that you might be the target," Steve said softly. "Let us think about this, okay?"

"Captain, Sergeant, are you joining us for dinner or are you going out with TJ?" Elaine asked.

Steve had never felt so much in the spotlight and looked at Bucky for a moment. He didn't want to inconvenience, but on the other hand, Bucky should get to know them, no matter how difficult they were. "We haven't made plans, but we'd be happy to stay for dinner. In the meantime, I should show Bucky the security."

"Very well, I'll let cook know," Elaine answered.

* * *

Life settled back into the new normal within a few days. Stark had provided them with the list of names and Bucky had left shortly thereafter to track down some possible leads based on his recollections. Before he'd left, he had managed to find time to sit down and let TJ ask all the questions about his time with Hydra that TJ had. Some he answered, some he begged off for another time, when things were less emotionally charged. But, he'd made time, which was more than anyone else in their family ever had, to TJ's way of seeing things. And, somehow, he'd managed to never show his left arm to anyone else in the family. TJ still wasn't sure how he'd managed that one.

But, after a few days, it was almost as if nothing had changed in the Hammond-Barrish house.

And it was driving TJ mad.

He'd almost given in and used twice in the time since Bucky left. But, each time, he'd managed to think of Steve, first, and gone to him instead. He had to get out of the house and he needed to check in at the club, something he'd been avoiding so as not to put his employees in harm's way, even if he didn't believe he could be the intended target. Genetics aside, it was too implausible. He hadn't done anything.

Retreating to the V.I.P. lounge as soon as they got there, he stood at the window looking down onto the dance floor, mind awash with too many thoughts about too many things. "Maybe I can move to New York when this is all over," he announced out of the blue, not turning around. "Start all over with a new club, a fresh perspective."

Steve would heard TJ from almost anywhere in the room, but he still moved to stand behind him a hand on TJ's shoulder. "If it's what you want, but you won't be able to escape your family that way. Especially if everyone's right and she's the next president, you'll be tied to them even if you're on the moon."

He squeezed TJ's shoulder. "I know it's hard for you. I wish things were different, for you, for Bucky. For them. Bucky loved his family so much. They were wonderful people, caring. They helped me more than they had to for no reason other that I needed it. I don't know what happened to your father, how he could grow up with Katie and be like this, but you can't give up on family. You never give up on family."

"I'm not really trying to escape them. Or give up. Just...put enough distance between us that I can breathe. Maybe even learn to stand on my own two feet." Turning, he took Steve's hand and led the way back to the couch. Although the lights up here were dim enough no one should be able to see them, the couch was far enough back to be out of the line of sight. They weren't public, yet, and TJ wasn't going to jeopardize things by being his usual careless self. He spent half his time, still, wondering if Steve was unconsciously using him as substitute for the best friend who wasn't interested in anything but friendship. It wasn't even that he didn't trust Steve. He just...knew he didn't measure up to his ancestor.

"Besides," he continued as he sat down. "How long can you stay in D.C. once this is over? The Avengers are based out of New York. Bucky doesn't live here and doesn't seem like he's thinking of giving up the work he's doing to stick around full-time, even if by some miracle the rest of the family comes to accept him. I'll hardly ever get to see either of you if I stay here."

Steve put an arm around TJ when they sat down and kissed his temple. "If it's really what you want, then it's great. I don't know how long I'll be here, honestly. I'm already based in New York. I only kept the apartment here for Bucky. I kept hoping that one day he'd find me, and he did. When this is over, I'll have to go back to New York and… " He stopped and let go long enough to take TJ's hands. "I know this is quick, but if we go public, you become a target for a lot of people, not just Hydra. Even if we stop this, there will always be someone. Pepper, Tony's girlfriend, always has security around her, and I don't mean your bouncers. I mean real security. If you're here, then you're in the White House, the most secure building in the country, but if you're in New York, then I'd like for you to stay at the Tower."

TJ blinked, utterly floored by the turn of the conversation. "At the Tower, or with you?"

"That should be your decision, shouldn't it?" Steve said. "TJ, I loved one woman in my life and dating during the war wasn't exactly a thing you can do. I haven't dated at all since waking up. I haven't wanted to until you. That alone should tell you that I'm serious here, but I'm not trying to push either. Five weeks are not exactly a long time. I guess what I'm saying is that I want you safe, but you need to do what makes you comfortable."

"Alright," TJ said slowly. "It's my decision. But...what are you asking for, Steve? What do you want? 'Stay at the Tower' is just...vague. As you said, five weeks isn't a very long time and I don't want to assume. You're serious, but not pushing. And I appreciate that. But, do you want me to move in with you? Is that what you want? Or do you just want me living somewhere safe?"

He brought one of TJ's hands to his lips and kissed. "I'm not sure. I was thinking about keeping you safe. I don't want you hurt because the world knows that we're together, but-" He took his time, thinking about the question. "I think I'd prefer if you took one of the apartments on the floors reserved for the Avengers. Call me old fashioned, but I don't want to rush this. When we move in together, then it'd be forever."

"Old fashioned." TJ tried not to let it show as he teased, but he couldn't help feeling a stab of disappointment after getting his hopes up, which was stupid because he hadn't even thought of it himself, yet. But, there it was. "Alright, if I decide to move to New York, I'll consider Avengers Tower. No rushing."

Steve frowned for a moment. "TJ, are we on the same page with this? What do you want? You keep asking what I want, but this should be a discussion, not a business deal with requests from both sides. I'm not like the rest of your family. I'm not going to argue with you on things, but I want to talk to you, I want to know how you see this going. Normally, I'd have loved to ask you out, take you to dinner. You probably wouldn't have seen my bedroom for a long time, but things aren't exactly normal and we've jumped a few steps, which I get is totally normal now, but it's not my normal, and you sound like you'd be okay with moving in together, but are you thinking about what that would mean?"

"Probably not," TJ admitted. "I haven't really thought about it until I thought that's what you were asking. It's not something I ever considered with anyone. I know, it's fast, though. And, that's fine. I can wait. I just...I guess I really liked that you would want to." He huffed softly and shook his head. "I don't even know what normal is, Steve. One night stands and clandestine fucks. The closest I've ever been to normal was with a closeted married man. Doug was right. I'm all or nothing. I fall hard and fast and these circumstances are probably exacerbating that. You're...not me. And you're more comfortable going slower and that's fine. I just...I thought you were asking for more than you were. That's all."

"Then why aren't you telling what you are thinking? TJ, I can't read your mind, and we are very different, from very different backgrounds. Assumptions are going to get us in trouble." He put a hand around TJ again and held one hand in his. "Don't just say that it's fine. I want to hear what you want."

"I was trying not to assume. That's why I asked for clarification." How had he ended up doing it all wrong again? Was there nothing he could get right? Running a hand through his hair, he shook his head. "What else do you expect me to say when you basically tell me we're moving too fast? I don't want to push you into anything you're not comfortable with, Steve. I just-"

Pulling away, he stood up and took a couple steps away, then wrapped his arms around himself. "I'm so fucked up. Why are you even with me? You could have anyone you wanted and I'm...no one. I don't deserve you. I don't... Sex is how I know when someone wants me and with us...I'm lost, Steve. I don't know where the boundaries are. I just...I guess I feel like I want you more than you want me and I don't know if that's because I'm used to moving faster or if it's just my own stupid insecurities or if..."

"I got that, TJ, and that's fine. I'm more than happy to answer. I just want you to feel like you can talk to me about this. About anything really." He got up and stopped in front of TJ. "I don't want anyone else, TJ. I haven't wanted anyone else since waking up. Bucky asked me why I was with you, if it was because of him, and I told him the truth. I'm with you because it feels right. I don't feel like I have to explain things to you about my past. You seemed to get things about the way I was brought up that people don't even consider. It might sound too simple, but in the end, it feels right."

He looked around the room for a moment. "We should go home and have this discussion in private, because there's a lot more that we need to talk about and it's not for everyone to see. Tell me when you're ready and we go."

"Really? It feels right?" TJ couldn't help the shy smile those words brought. "I just need to confirm a couple things with Maria and then I'm all yours for the night."

Steve smiled and nodded. "It feels right." He let TJ finish up inside while he checked the security downstairs and then got the car. They were soon going to his apartment. The further away they moved from the heart of the town, the quieter it got until he was parking in front of his apartment. Inside, he made his usual check of the rooms to ensure that everything was in place. He rested his shield against a wall and then finally sat down on the couch.

"We're having this discussion in here, because I need you to pay attention to me and not my chest," he teased. "You're right, I could have anyone I want and I picked you. It wasn't because you look like Bucky, because that's just wrong. I'd never- I didn't pick you because you're related to him, because I didn't know. I certainly didn't pick you because of your family and it wasn't because I wanted to get laid. I wanted to go out with you, because I _like_ spending time with you, and I know in your circle, that usually means that there's some kind of deal being made, but I like you. That's really what it is. I'm also not sure how the lack of sex means that I'm not serious. I thought it was the reverse. You slept with the women you didn't want to marry and you dated the ones you did."

"But it's such a nice chest," TJ said with a laugh as he joined Steve on the couch. "I like you, too. A lot. And I- Wait. Did you just inadvertently equate dating me with dating women you would want to marry?"

Steve shook his head. "No, I didn't inadvertently equate the two. I used the exact analogy I wanted to use. Granted you wouldn't consider marrying a man in my time, but if I'm dating someone the intention is there. Why else would I get involved with someone? I think we've established that it's not about sex."

"Okay." TJ thought about what to say for a moment, tried to stop thinking about the fact Steve was considering the potential for something truly long-term. "It's not about sex...but I guess it doesn't feel like sex is involved at all. I'm not saying let's fuck, right here, right now. But...are you attracted to me? Physically, I mean. You never say anything. And, while just kissing you can take my breath away, it doesn't seem like the reverse is true. I know that it shouldn't all be about sex. And it's not. I just...I'm not used to not having it at all and I don't know the cues, I guess." He sighed and looked down at his hands. "Am I making any sense? Or am I just being silly?"

"Are you asking literally? Because the type of exertion required for me to lose my breath is considerable," he said, grinning, before shaking his head. "No, I suppose that you aren't being silly. I'd like to blame different background, but it's more a me thing. I like kissing you, I like touching you, but it's difficult to miss something you never had. I never had sex, TJ, not because of rules or centuries, but because I couldn't imagine thinking about sex when there wasn't something long term. This is an area where you'll have to take the lead."

"So, you're saying I'll have to be really good when we finally have sex in order to leave you breathless?" TJ teased. "I can live with that." He took Steve's hand in his. "It's not that I miss sex. I mean, I guess I do in a way because I really enjoy it. But, it's more about anticipating what it will be like with you: how you'll touch me, how you'll react to my touch, how you'll sound when something feels good." He smirked. "I would have thought you've heard me in the shower some mornings, getting off just imagining what it will feel like to finally have you inside me."

TJ shifted until he was straddling Steve's thighs, hands resting on Steve's shoulders. "You've never thought about it? Never imagined sitting like this, only naked, skin against skin, your hands leaving marks on my hips while I ride you?" Despite the mental image, TJ remained still on Steve's lap. He wasn't going to push. He just... Leaning over, he nipped Steve's lip lightly, then again, sucking gently on the plump flesh before soothing the sting with his tongue. "Do you want me, Steve? Like that? Someday?"

"Yes," he whispered. Steve closed his eyes and unlike the fantasy TJ was creating, he was doing his best not to leave marks on TJ's hips. He opened his eyes again and looked at TJ. "You're making it really hard to do the honorable thing here." He cupped the back of TJ's head, pulling him close for a kiss. It was nothing like the other kisses he had started in the past, no intent to stop this time. It was hungry and demanding. His fingers tightened, digging into TJ's hip despite his will.

Steve growled as he pulled back. He took a deep breath to calm himself. "You haven't said what you want, TJ. You talk about one night stands and your relations with Sean. You say you are a romantic and like monogamy, but you didn't even think of it until I brought it up. I need to know what you want too. I'm not asking you for guarantees, but do you want to commit to this? And do you know what this even means? Not just we're together, but living together, maybe marriage, it means the Avengers, it means dealing with another line of work that's just as demanding as your parents. This is why I can't think of sex. I'm not a saint and I want you, but I can't do this if you're still thinking that it's temporary. Or that I'll leave as soon as this is over."

"I talk about one night stands and Sean because it's all I _know_ , Steve! You keep going on about how you've never done this and you've never done that. Well, newsflash! I haven't done most of those things either. I've fucked around and I've been someone's dirty little secret and that's it. I didn't think of moving in with you because it's never been something I thought was an option before. And it didn't seem like it would even be something to get my hopes up about with you when sex isn't even on the menu, yet. I'm not afraid of your work, other than the part where it's dangerous and I could lose you, unless you're trying to tell me I'll never matter as much to you as the Avengers, the way my parents will always put politics ahead of their children?"

TJ pushed at Steve's shoulders without letting go, wanting to both shake him until he understood and kiss him again until it didn't matter. "But, what I want is _this_! I want your passion, not just for sex, but for life...for _me_. You're so fucking calm all the time. I want to know I've gotten as far under your skin as you have mine. I don't want to think of this as temporary. I don't want to be afraid of coming in second all the time to my own damned uncle. You don't hesitate with Bucky. You want a hug, you reach out and pull him in. But, sometimes it feels like you think I'm made of glass or something, like you're afraid I'll shatter if you touch me too much. I want to know I'm not the only one falling, here. But, mostly, I want _you_! In my life _and_ in my bed."

He was calm, he thought and evaluated. Steve didn't make rush decision in anything. He may come up to a conclusion quickly, but there was thought involved. He knew that; he also knew that TJ was right in some areas. He did treat Bucky as an equal, always had, but it was different with TJ. He was so human and fragile. "I am afraid, TJ. People want to kill you and you're not Bucky. You don't have his training or the serum that has kept him alive for this long. That concern is spilling over, and it's not that Bucky is more important, but I know what he thinks and what he'll do. It's easy to act around. Not so easy around dames I could date. I'm really out of my depth when it comes to men I am dating. I never know where the line is and I'd rather err on the side of caution because that's what gentlemen do."

Steve sighed. "I don't want to disappoint you, TJ. The Avengers don't come before you, but the job comes before anything, because when we're involved, there are people's lives at stake. I don't mean in a year or ten, but right that very moment. I'm a soldier, maybe with enhanced senses, but still a soldier, and that's the kind of life you'd be signing up for. It's a life that military spouses know and hate. It means not knowing everything. It means worrying. It means sudden departures for unknown amount of times. Can you live with that? Can you accept that while knowing that I want you? That I do want to see you spread in my bed and know what it feels like, not just in my fantasies? That I want you in my life every day? That I'm willing to love you and be with you and watch you grow old and die while I probably never will? It's hard to open up, TJ, when I know that everything I can have will end long before I'm ready to let go, and I'm willing to do this with you, but you need to figure out if you can live with the hardship attached to my work."

TJ was silent for a moment, processing everything Steve had said. It was a lot to take in. Not the soldier part. That was normal enough. But, not growing old? The thought that Steve would have to go through what he did the night Peggy died over and over again, or be alone forever, broke TJ's heart all over again. "When Sean was blackmailed about our relationship," he said finally, sitting back on Steve's knees and staring down at his own hands, "Mama knew and told me to leave him before anything could break. I told her I couldn't because I was in love with him, my first love, and all she could talk about was how bad it would be in the press. When he left me, I was devastated. I'd loved him. I thought he loved me. Then, the last things he said to me was that having sex with me left him feeling disgusted after; he wanted more out of life than being with a page six punchline. And the only thing I heard from my family was it was better this way, better it ended before it could be made public. They didn't care that I was hurting, just that we'd avoided a PR disaster."

Looking up, he traced his thumb along Steve's jaw, smiling softly. "That's the sort of thing I mean about coming first. I know you can't stop in the middle of fighting aliens to fuck me because I'm horny and to hell with whoever might be in danger. I get that. But, when there isn't a life or death situation, if you're just making a public appearance with Stark at a gala of some kind or something like that? I want to know that if I needed you, if I called and told you to come home because I was hurt or sick or jonesing for a fix, that you'd come. Or at least have a good reason not to, something other than 'what will the press think if I leave early?' I'd say if you were hanging out with Bucky, but after the way he's reacted to this situation, I have a feeling he'd insist on coming with you anyway," he added with a soft chuckle.

"The short version is I just want to know that, even if you can't be there, you still care about what happens to me, what I feel. That, when the job is done, you _will_ be there. That's all I mean when I say I want to come first. I just want to know I'm as important to you as you are to me. I'm not a completely selfish bastard that I can't share you with the people who need you to protect them." He leaned forward and kissed Steve gently, slowly. There was a moment's hesitation, but he swallowed and tried for that bravery Steve was trying to teach him. "I'm falling in love with you, Captain Steve Rogers. I can live with a lot more than you might think, as long as I know you're doing everything you can to come back to me in the end."

"I almost feel like I should defend your parents since they are Bucky's family," he said, shaking his head. "You know, for all of their faults, I think they love you and that PR mess would have hurt you as much as them. Maybe they didn't want to see you hurt. And if I'm at one of Tony's parties, I wouldn't have to come home to you, because you'd be with me. None of that is really important right now." He brushed TJ's cheek before closing his arms around TJ's waist and standing up. "You aren't falling, because I'm here to catch you, TJ," he said as he walked toward the bedroom. "I'll always be here to catch you."

He kicked the door open with a foot and dropped TJ on the bed, following on the soft surface, half covering him. "If I start treating you like you're glass again, you have permission to knock some sense into me. And, you need to stop touching me like you think I'll disappear if you do the wrong thing." Steve leaned down kissing him while he pushed his hand under TJ's shirt, feeling the strong muscles under his fingers. "I want you, TJ. I want all of you, your mind, your body and your heart."

"You have it. All of it, of me." TJ nodded, one hand finding its way into Steve's hair to pull him down for another heady kiss, while the other hand fumbled with loosening TJ's tie. Thank God he'd taken his jacket off when they got to the apartment. It already felt like there were too many layers between them. He'd wanted for so long that now he had a taste of hot-blooded Steve, he craved more. The touch of Steve's hand was almost like a brand on TJ's skin and he couldn't hold back a soft little moan as he wrapped his leg around Steve's to pull him closer. "Tell me if you still want to wait for this and we can. I didn't say any of that to pressure you into making love to me tonight." TJ blinked. "And that's definitely the first I've ever used that phrase."

It was almost scary to realize he meant it, that sex with Steve would be so much more than just fucking, more than just getting off and feeling good for a moment before it faded. And he suddenly realized he wanted so much more than just a good fuck. "I can't believe I'm going to say this. But, what if we waited until I move to New York? Do this right, with no room for regrets?"

Steve stared for a moment and then laughed. "Damn it, you really are a Barnes, always contrary." He brushed TJ's lips and then kissed him gently. "We can wait until you move to New York, until we move in together. We do it right. We move in, we come out. We show your parents what family can be in the process." He nipped TJ's lip. "I can still kiss you right?"

"You'd better still kiss me," TJ replied, a smirk turning up one corner of his mouth. "And I do mean kissing me like you mean it, soldier."

Tugging Steve a little closer, he buried his face against Steve's shoulder and just took a moment to breathe, his body protesting the sudden halt to very pleasurable proceedings. Steve hadn't moved and TJ had wanted this feeling for so long. "I have so many regrets in my life," he said softly, not looking up. "I don't want to have any regrets with you, or to be one for you. Only reason to rush is if I'm still afraid it won't last, right? And, I think I'd like to try that old fashioned faerietale instead."

"I always mean what I do," he said with a smile, before pressing his cheek against TJ's. "It's going to last, TJ. We're going to last. I'm too stubborn for anything else." He stayed there, touching and kissing TJ, showing him what he felt with his hands, showing him that they didn't need sex to show what they meant to each other.

* * *

They were reaching month two after the first attack and Doug was ready to lose it. It wasn't the campaign. He could deal with that. In fact, it was the highlight of his day. It was everything else that was a problem.

He saw the disappointed looks his mother gave him every time she saw him and Susan together. Nana didn't have to say anything, because they all knew how she felt about Susan, besides Doug had always gotten the impression that Nana liked Annie more than she liked him. TJ was too wrapped up in his life to give a damn. Dad - oh Dad had been Dad, congratulating him on getting that piece of ass who'd turned him down. It said plenty about their family when that was the best reaction he'd gotten.

Susan had been a real trooper about the situation. She couldn't write what she loved, she was stuck in their house, but she was the one keeping him sane despite everything. She was even being successful until Bucky Barnes had finished whatever mission he had and decided that he was going to be Doug's bodyguard. Doug was debating if murder would stop his chance of being president, because he could deal with bodyguards. He'd dealt with them for eight years, but none of them wanted to be friends. Doug was all right with professional detachment, but not with whatever Bucky wanted.

At the moment, Bucky wanted to get to this meeting and back without incident -- Hydra attack or sniping grandnephew. He hadn't found as much as he would have liked when it came to information on the names Stark had sent him. But, he'd been able to make a few connections to some old cronies of Pierce's and that was a start.

More of a start than he'd been able to make with Doug. TJ's brother seemed singularly determined not to bend an inch, not even to pretend the way Katie's son did, which was painful enough. But, Bucky hadn't grown up with the most stubborn man to walk the face of the earth for nothing. He could be patient for family.

After letting Doug get into the car first, Bucky closed the door and checked his weapons before getting in on the other side. He'd debated following on the bike. But, he wanted to be as close as possible, just in case.

As Todd, the man from security assigned to drive for the day, started up the car, Bucky cast a grin at Doug. "So, tell me about the strategy for your meetings today. Not in detail, if you don't want. But, the general idea. Anything special about them?"

Doug was already checking his tablet by the time Bucky was sitting next to him. He could use the time to work, but of course Bucky had other ideas. Doug raised his eyes, trying to process the words. "Did you bang your head hard during the war? Because why would you even ask that. It's not like you know what politics is all about. In fact what have you been doing since- You know, forget I said anything."

"Since I fell off a train and down a mountain?" Bucky finished for him, ignoring the last of what was said. "The short answer is I've been a prisoner of war for seventy years. The long answer, I'll tell you if you really want to know. I've told TJ already because he asked. But, not with an audience. As for why I would ask, I told you I want to get to know you and what you do. Just because I prioritize the health and happiness of my family over politics, it doesn't mean I'm uninterested in hearing about it when lives aren't on the line. I'm a soldier and covert operative. My job is directly influenced by the politics." And had directly influenced them in the past, but that was for the later discussion if Doug ever wanted to have it.

"Did you miss that I said you could forget what I said?" Doug put the tablet down. "Why? Why do you care so much? Two weeks I keep telling you to go away, two weeks you keep asking questions. Are you a masochist? Because family? You barely know us and while I have no problem including you in the campaign, I've made it clear that I want nothing else to do with you."

"I could forget. I chose not to," Bucky replied. "I care because you _are_ family, whether you want to acknowledge me or not. It's really that simple, Doug. I don't know you, yet, but I'd like to. Maybe family meant something in my day it doesn't mean now. But, to me, it means being there for each other no matter what, accepting each other despite the differences. No favors, no strings. Just because it's family."

"That might be family, but you aren't part of our family. We might share blood, but that's not family. We don't know you, can't trust you. Well, we minus TJ, because he'll do the opposite on principle, so I'm sure you'll be best pals." He raised the tablet again, shaking his head. He should have known better than to engage. You never asked questions without knowing the answer or you ended up revealing more about yourself. It was basic first year law school knowledge. His Criminal Law professor would be horrified by this display.

"How are you going to get to know me if you don't try?" Bucky asked.

And he would have pushed further, but movement out the driver's side window caught his attention. He barely had time to shout _Down!_ to Todd and throw himself on top of Doug before the front driver side door burst inward from the force of a small explosion. Through the haze, Bucky could see the shooter loading another RPG into the launcher. At most, they had ten seconds to get clear. One glance told him Todd was gone. Bucky himself had taken the brunt of the blast by getting between it and Doug. Hurt like a bitch and he'd probably have to get Steve to dig shrapnel out of him before the skin healed over it. But, he'd survive.

"Go. Now."

"My iPad." Doug didn't have time to complain more before Bucky herded him out the passenger door, forcing him to keep his head low as they ran for the cover of a parked car. The SUV exploded behind them as the next grenade hit the gas tank. As soon as they had cover, Bucky ripped the left sleeve off his jacket. He needed the increased mobility it would give him. Taking out two pistols, he took quick stock of their location and immediately had a severe sense of déjà vu. It wasn't the exact same location, but it was near to the highway bridge where he'd first fought Steve months ago.

 _Now_ he wished he had his bike.

Rising up to peer through the car window, he could make out six agents and, if Hydra stayed true to form, there were likely to be at least another four in reserve. Too bad for them they hadn't known to prepare to face _him_. As he huddled back down, he took out a third, smaller pistol, from his boot and handed it to Doug. "Don't use it unless you have to, but if you have to, _do it_."

Doug looked at the gun wondering what he was supposed to be doing with that. He had the Secret Service to hold the guns. But he couldn't even ask because Bucky rose up and fired in one fluid movement. He'd taken out four of the six before they knew what hit them, but the one with the grenade launcher was out of range. He had no time to finish off the last of them before he saw another grenade being loaded. " _Move_!"

It was as much a warning to the terrified civilians around them as it was for Doug, whom he grabbed by the arm and half dragged with him further down a side street in search of further cover. Behind them, the corner of the nearest building tumbled to the ground from the impact. The increased debris in the air gave him a moment to consider options and he started trying the doors of parked cars they passed. When he found one unlocked -- stupid for the owner, good for them -- he grabbed Doug and pushed him toward the car. "Get in."

Running to the other side, Bucky ducked under the steering column and pulled it open. Looking for a spare key would take too much time. He could hotwire it in less time.

"You're stealing a car? We're stealing car." God, he was never becoming president if things kept going like this. A bullet bouncing off Bucky's left arm took their attention as the engine caught and Bucky reached over to pull Doug in close to his own body, keeping his head down. It made for awkward driving with his right hand, but Bucky needed his left arm free to return fire after he peeled out from the curb.

"You don't need to hold me. I get it. We steal a car and stay down or we're dead." Someone was really shooting at them. Hell, someone had missiles in the middle of DC. What the hell was going on?

Two rounds squeezed from Bucky's pistol sent the man who stepped out in front of the car to his final destination and Bucky plowed through the next who tried to take his place. He knew Hydra's tactics. They would have thought to get them out of the car and take them on foot. Once he was clear of the area, there was unlikely to be pursuit because they wouldn't have planned for it.

Some days, it seemed like the only reason they'd gotten any targets in the past was they were using him.

"Are you okay?" he asked finally, looking Doug over while he drove, taking alternate routes back to the Barrish house to make sure they weren't being followed.

"Am I okay? Missiles, grenades, bullets, a metal arm, you've got a metal arm to go with the whole 'I'm 30 years old' look, which no one talks about, I'm supposed to be meeting a lobbyist and my iPad with all of my information is gone. No, I'm not okay!" After the sudden outburst, he looked out and shook his head, before another thought ran through his head. "Shit, Susan." He grabbed his phone and called her. "I'm alive," he said when she picked up. 

"They are talking about multiple casualties, a kidnapping," Susan said.

"Whatever they are showing on TV, I'm all right. I'll call you back as soon as we're safe and you can have come up with a story where I'm not being kidnapped by my bodyguard."

"You know it's going to be more complicated than that. There's a video already, someone with a phone. It looks like someone was dragging you," Susan explained.

"Susan, we'll figure it out. Just let me get somewhere safe, and call Mom. She'll worry."

"Doug… I-"

"You don't have to say it. I love you, too." Doug ended the call and put the phone away. "My girlfriend much like my mother can't say the word love unless it's in an article. People are shooting at us and you want to be family. You're insane."

Bucky sighed. "I look young because when I was captured with the 107th during the war, they used the prisoners as test subjects for their own attempts at the super soldier serum. Lucky me, I was the one it took with. That and a lot of time spent in and out of cryogenic suspension are why I still only look thirty. The arm I lost in the fall that should have killed me. Hydra replaced it with this as another one of their experiments. So, yes, I just might be insane thanks to them. But, it also means I'm around to save your life, which is the more important point right now."

Glancing down at where Doug had stowed the phone he added, "Call Steve and tell him what's happened."

"They think you kidnapped me. We need to get somewhere and fix this, before we have capitol police all over us," he said as he took the phone out and dialed Steve's number. "So you've been experimented on, tortured, and you decided that once you were free, you'd get a job shooting people? And you think our priorities are skewed." He stopped for a moment. "Hey, it's Doug. There was an attack. I'm alive, Bucky is alive. We're driving a stolen car going somewhere, call me when you can." Doug hung up and tried TJ. He left the exact message. "Neither one is answering, but if they are doing the interview, their phones might be off. They tend to record them now."

"What we need to do is be sure we're not followed back to your mother's house by someone who wants to kill you. Steve's team can deal with the rest. Call Romanoff." Bucky wasn't going to take the time to argue. There wasn't anything the Hammonds could do to 'fix this' that the Avengers and Fury couldn't do better in removing all evidence of Bucky's presence. "If she doesn't pick up, call Stark."

Damn it, why wasn't Steve picking up?

* * *

Why was the phone ringing? 

Steve hated not picking up as a general rule, but the calm garden picked for the photo-shoot that would accompany the Advocate article had suddenly turned into a war zone. Bullets were flying everywhere. Grenades were sending pieces of turf flying while people screamed and ran senselessly. Panic had set in, but Steve stayed on the mission. The sooner he got TJ out of here, the sooner everyone would be safer.

"Let's go," he screamed to be heard over the noise. He grabbed TJ's arm and pulled him while he kept his shield in front of them. Another grenade landed close by. Steve looked up, and there were too many civilians to just run. He tossed the shield on top of the grenade and then threw himself on it, feeling the pressure of the vibranium against his side. As he stood up, he threw the shield toward one of the attackers, hitting him right in the middle before the shield spun back. Steve grabbed it in mid-air, raising it for protection again "Come on, keep moving."

TJ stumbled along behind, his free hand wrapped tightly around Steve's wrist both for balance and to keep the super soldier right there with him. Not having either the super soldier maneuverability or reaction time, Steve's grip was keeping him upright at times as they ran. "Where are we going?" he finally managed to get out as there was a brief lull in the shooting and explosions -- who the hell used grenades for an assassination?

"Home." He looked around and found an older car with none of the computerized doors and engines, opened it and let TJ in. "Slide in." He got in after TJ and after ripping the panel and hot wiring the car, they were on their way. He drove for a while, checking his mirror. "And we should thank the usual Hydra incompetence," he finally said. "We'll need to check and see how the rest of your security team is doing." They had kept Hydra busy long enough for Steve to take TJ out. "Are you all right?"

"Shaky and regretting ever giving up coke," TJ replied, holding his hand up for evidence. "But, not injured. Although, YOU have a disconcerting habit of throwing yourself at things that explode. You know that?"

Steve smiled. "Yes, I know. I'm pretty sure that's how I was picked. They threw a grenade. Everyone looked for cover and I threw myself on it. That was pre serum. The grenade was a test. I passed apparently." He reached over and traced TJ's jaw with his thumb. "I'm going to guess here, but I'm thinking you wouldn't be so lucid if you were using. That would also diminish your chances of staying alive. I like this better."

The simple touch was grounding. "Yes and no. Coke's not like other drugs that mess with your perception. It mostly just makes you feel really fucking good, like nothing could ever be bad. I really only tend to use when it feels the most like no one cares." Catching Steve's hand with his briefly, he kissed the palm and then let go so Steve could drive. "Haven't felt like that since I met you the second time."

Steve smiled at him. "You should get used to this feeling, although I'm not the only one who cares. I know Bucky does and your grandmother, too, and as strange as your parents and Doug are, they do care, and speaking of, why don't you call Doug and let him know that we're good. Tell him to inform Bucky and get your parents and grandmother home."

* * *

At the house, no one had arrived from work, leaving Doug and Bucky to wait. Going to his room, Doug found his laptop and began working until the phone calls started. He went downstairs and found Bucky. "Mom and Dad should be here soon. TJ called. They are fine, but they were attacked, too." He waited for a moment, debating if he should just go back to work until everyone arrived, but instead went for the cognac. "I haven't thanked you for what you did. Mom and I were in Africa when she was at State and a few times things got dicey. We never told Nana or TJ. I haven't told Dad either, but he has a way of knowing things, especially when Mom is concerned. Anyway you're there, people are shooting and the Marines get you out. You move on to the next item on the agenda and don't bother with thanks, because it's their job. It's not your job, so thank you."

"You're welcome." It was on the tip of his tongue to say something about it just being what family did, but Bucky figured he'd beaten that horse enough. And, in any case, this was the most Doug had opened up about anything. Bucky didn't want to jinx that. "I'd say any time, but let's see if we can't avoid a repeat, shall we?" he added with a small grin.

For his part, Bucky had contacted various members of Steve's team to appraise them of the situation -- and to see if Stark could manage to erase the evidence of Bucky's presence in D.C. -- and then, finally got around to taking his jacket off and checking the damage. He might still have Steve or one of the others check later, as he could feel a couple places on his back that didn't feel right when he moved. But, the jacket seemed to have taken the worst of it. He'd been debating swapping out his short-sleeved shirt for the long-sleeved tee in the saddlebags of his bike when Doug found him.

"So, you and TJ, but not your father?" he confirmed, switching gears back into work mode. They might not be out of the woods, yet. For all they knew at this point, Hydra might be driving them all back to the house for a concerted strike. Unlikely, given how long they'd all been living there unscathed. But, a possibility. "This still doesn't make sense. How long ago did TJ call?"

"Not Dad, no. He's fine and so is Mom, and not too long ago." Doug was good at reports. He didn't like or understand the life of the various agents, but he understood the importance of information. "They were attacked minutes after us. TJ mentioned getting calls from us while the attack was happening. It's definitely both of us. There's no way this kind of synchronicity would happen if it were random. The question is why us, why both of us. I could see one or the other, but other than this campaign, TJ and I don't share much, if anything."

"Million dollar question. And the only answer I can come up with is still that it's something to do with your relation to me. But, if that were the case, I would think they'd go after your father, too. Maybe even any cousins you might have through my other sisters." Bucky frowned, beginning to pace unconsciously. "Hydra's frontal attacks are incompetent, like today. Their inner workings are generally smarter, though. They play the long game until they get desperate. But, this has felt desperate from the start." He wished Steve would hurry up and get back. He needed his friend's better strategic mind.

Doug put the glass down without having it touched. "You asked us to talk to you so you could figure out what's going on, but what if it's the reverse?" He moved until he was standing in front of the other man. Doug might have his attention, but all the pacing was getting annoying. "We didn't have problems until recently, right? Dad was president. Mom ran once before. If you think a family is a threat, that's the time to strike. Now, you return from the dead, and I'm assuming that S.H.I.E.L.D.'s destruction has something to do with it. What has changed with you that puts us at risk? Because it's not us. It's too…. it makes no sense. I could see TJ, because he looks like you, or me because of my political career, but both of us makes no sense unless-"

He stopped and for the first time he focused on him. "No one knows you're around. No one fucking knows that you're alive. You're Captain America's best friend, the only one to give up his life. If anyone knew that you were alive, there'd be parades and photo ops, there's been none, so people don't know, right? What if we aren't the target at all? What if we're bait and you're the target? You get Captain America to meet the guy that looks exactly like his best friend, something is going to happen."

"I thought it might be Steve," Bucky said slowly, running a hand through his hair. "Using my family to draw him into a trap. But, when it took so long to do anything...It's possible. I thought I'd covered my tracks well enough, but those first few weeks..."

He didn't like the thought. But, Doug was right. It was _possible_ , however unlikely. Sighing, he leaned against the nearest wall and folded his arms. "I guess you get the long story whether you wanted it or not, if we're going to go test this angle. No, most people aren't aware I'm alive. Most people in Hydra didn't even know they had me. Only a few: Arnim Zola, Alexander Pierce, the scientists responsible for my treatments. Keeping me young wasn't the only reason they had me in cryo." Bucky couldn't help the hesitation. This wasn't exactly the impression he wanted to give the only family he had left. "Just holding me prisoner served no real purpose. I told you they gave me the arm after I fell. It was the Russians who found me and I don't have much memory of that or anything else before I woke up on Zola's examination table as they were taking what was left of my arm and giving me this one. I was pretty out of it, but I remember him saying I was to be the new fist of Hydra. My memory after that is...spotty. Actually, my memory before that is...incomplete."

Taking a deep breath, he looked away from Doug. "The other part of what they did was...mental reconditioning. They used a variety of methods, but the most effective was a variation of electroshock therapy Zola had come up with early on. They wiped my mind, took everything of who I was away from me. There was nothing left but an automaton with the skills of a super soldier. And they used that. They turned me into an assassin and pointed me at both sides of the Cold War. The programming broke down after a while, though, files say my behavior became...erratic. So, they'd put me in cryogenic suspension after every mission, wipe my memory when they woke me up, and send me out after a new target.

"And that's how it went for seventy years, until they sent me after Nick Fury. Then after Steve and Romanoff. Steve and I saw each other for the first time not far from where we were attacked today. And I was trying to kill my best friend. Luckily for me, unluckily for Hydra, Steve is a stubborn little punk and he wouldn't give up on trying to get through to me, which he did in the middle of the fight that sent three helicarriers into the Potomac. After that, I went off the grid. As far as anyone knew, I went down with the helicarriers. At first, I was just staying low, trying to figure out who I was. I think I even went to the museum to see proof I was James Barnes as Steve had said. Getting your memories back, it's not like in the movies where you just suddenly remember everything. I still don't. But, I remembered enough and I was able to work through the conditioning Hydra had given me. Then, I started going through them. I've been taking out their smaller installations for months, gathering intel as I went. When Peggy Carter died, I knew Steve would be hurting, so I came back. That was well after the first attack."

The long story was probably not as long as it could have been. Doug was sure that if he asked, he'd get a lot more, but they had a problem to solve and he enjoyed that. He was good at that. "So you start destroying their installations and we get attacked. Maybe not everyone knows, but somebody might. It makes more sense than Steve. Think about it. It's not like he's shy about helping. He'd help anyone. They don't need us to be bait. Anyone on that list could have been bait. I looked at the names, all people dealing with space travel, materials for space, something space related or the President. They could have made it big enough for him to get involved, but us? Not even us, TJ at first. He gets his attention and that gets yours."

He stopped and frowned. "And this is so weird. Discussing tactics and motivations with you. You look like TJ, but he'd have clocked out within the first ten minutes, but back to the important point. If you look at it logically, it makes more sense if we were added as bait to draw you in. Either way, though, whether for you or Steve, we're still bait. Figuring out the motivation only helps you being more careful."

"Yeah, it makes sense," Bucky agreed, chuckling despite himself at the comparison to TJ. "Hydra would want their asset recovered if possible, taken out if not. I've been careful, but I'm not perfect. Especially at the beginning, when I was still trying to put myself back together. And it would make sense for one of the factions here in the States to want to lure me out of Europe. Not many knew I existed, but I'm sure there were a few others in the upper ranks besides Pierce who knew about me. Hell, they might even have someone working in that museum."

He huffed softly. "Guess I can cut my hair and shave after all. Steve will be thrilled. Only kept it because it was easier to sneak into places if I looked how they expected me to look. Alright, so, if you're bait...what's the trap? Actually, if you're bait for a trap, it almost has to be for both of us, now that I think about it. Steve first met TJ ages ago. He's been around for weeks; he and TJ go off alone. They wouldn't need to go after you separately if they wanted just Steve. But, they do if they haven't realized I'm here, yet...which of course I've now confirmed for them." Not that he would have done anything different. Protecting Doug was still the priority. "So, now they've got both of us potentially where they want us. We just need to figure out how to use that to draw _them_ out."

"I don't know. I'm better at fixing problems when it's political, not when it's about stopping an organization with a very high number of agents," Doug admitted with a smile, "but maybe there is a way to narrow down that list of names you got from Stark."

"And what way?" Steve asked as he and TJ entered. "Is everyone all right? Your parents."

"We're fine. Some of the men in our details weren't so lucky. My parents and Nana are on the way. Susan is coming over to write a story on what happen, see if we can use it to minimize the damage," Doug answered.

"For the campaign?" Steve asked, because every discussion seemed to go there.

"Well, yes, but also if I'm right. We might be able to use it in our favor," he said, before looking at his brother. "Are _you_ all right?"

"Yeah." TJ wasn't satisfied with a report, however, and reached out to drag Doug into a tight hug. "Told you on the phone."

"Still in one piece, punk?" Bucky came over to knock shoulders with Steve. "Doug was just positing a theory I think has merit. Today makes it clear they're just targeting these two, which makes no sense any way you slice it: politics, family relations, the club. Unless, we go back to the idea they're being used as bait for you...or me. Or both. We were just getting to the why and how can we use this part."

"Not enough grenades to keep me down," Steve answered, putting an arm around Bucky and squeezing for a moment. "And you two have been… talking." That was more surprising than the fact that Doug had theories or that Bucky was looking at strategies.

Doug held TJ slightly longer. "Glad you're okay," he said softly, before pulling back. "We have, and I'm still convinced that it's him more than you. It makes more sense. You're too public for them to need a specific bait. Attack Union Station, the airport, any monument or museum in DC. They don't need much to get you out and fighting. Him on the other hand? No one even knows he's alive. He's harder to get out in the open."

"And you came to this conclusion while being shot at?" Steve asked amused, sharing a look with Bucky.

"I do well under pressure. Bullets are great motivators," Doug answered.

"Bullets are scary as fuck," TJ retorted. "I'm officially declaring that I'm done with the idea of them flying at anyone in this room. Got it?"

"If only it worked that way." Bucky laughed, then turned to Doug. "Now, what is this you're thinking about using what Susan's writing?"

Doug rolled his eyes at TJ. "I'm not sure. It depends on how much you want to expose yourself, how much you remain a secret, and- Is that Dad? I think he might just help us with something else."

Elaine was the first to enter the room. She looked at the four men, but it was TJ that she went to hug first. "I'm glad that you're all right, sweetheart."

Surprised, TJ put an arm around her waist and squeezed -- his other hand still clasped Steve's tightly as if afraid to let go. "You, too, Mama."

"Gentlemen, good to see you in one piece," Bud said as he arrived with his trademark cigar in his mouth.

"Dad, you mentioned Frank Robbins once, something about owing you," Doug answered.

Elaine got close and slapped his arm. "You can stop for a moment. You could have been killed. I saw the footage." She hugged him too. "Better or worse than Mauritania?"

Doug shrugged. "Worse, but I'm alive, and I think I know how we go about to find out who's behind this."

"I can get to Frankie. He does owe me," Bud answered.

"He's the Deputy Director at the NSA," Elaine explained, before looking at Bud. "What type of favors?"

Bud grinned. "The type he doesn't want his wife to know about."

Elaine sighed. "I hate that kind of politics."

"But people are shooting missiles at us," Doug answered. "Okay, so they have names, but too many. Steve said that Stark knows someone at MIT who can create another algorithm to narrow it down, but they need data. Get the names to Frank and get- It's the NSA, they have everything. Once they can cut down the list to a few names, they can go and do whatever they do."

Elaine patted his cheek. "And this is why you'll make a great president, but that requires you to stay alive and if I see you sneaking out to smoke again, I will not make you chief of staff. You go out with one of them from now on. No more excuses, no more whining."

"Considering they are probably the reason we're being targeted, I'm not sure why you like the idea so much," he said with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh would you stop it? I'm telling you to go out with a body guard. You'd think I'm asking you to sleep with him," Elaine answered.

"Ewww." Doug didn't care that he sounded like a teenager. "He looks like TJ, Mom. Blergh."

TJ laughed. "And both of you are straight. So, unless you're looking for a threesome..."

"Now would be a good time to remind everyone about blood kinship," Bucky said with a chuckle. "And then to segue back into what we're going to do about the very real possibility Doug's right and they're bait to lure Steve and I out...or just me." He winked at Doug. "Narrowing down those names will take time. I don't want them taking more potshots at you two while we wait."

"Well, if they're really after you and we're just bait, you're no more safe than we are, are you?" Frowning, TJ looked between the two super soldiers.

"The fact that he looks like you is worse than the fact that he's a man," Doug said, shivering. "And if I want a threesome, I still have a wife and a girlfriend, but that's beside the point right now. What did you think I meant when I said this depends on how much they want to expose themselves?" It took TJ long enough to catch on.

For his part, TJ worried his tongue at the inside of his cheek and looked away, but said nothing.

"The NSA won't take long to get us information, but it's still be a week or so before you have enough data to put into any algorithm, no matter how good it is," Bud said.

"You should leave," Elaine finally said. "All four of you. We keep Susan here, where she's safe, and Doug, here is safer than with you."

Steve shook his head. "We can't just hide. The moment we do that, you are in danger. We can move, though. All four of us." He thought for a moment. "What if we say that after this, they decided to take a vacation, give enough hints that Hydra has a few locations to search for, but something with a deadline so that they know they will be coming back. They'll be willing to wait a week or two if they know we're not in hiding. Hydra is patient."

"We could go to the grandpa's farm?" Doug suggested.

"Hydra would know the properties you own. That would be the first place they'd look." He smiled after he thought it over. "How'd you feel about a vacation in Malibu?" Tony's house would be the perfect place to hide.

* * *

Doug walked into the kitchen of Stark's Malibu house. They had been here for four days and he was restless. This was the life TJ was made for. A pool, an A.I. who could do just about anything for you, the sun, no stress. It was the opposite of the chaotic life of DC and Doug hated it. To compound the problem, he was stuck in a house with people that had nothing in common with him. TJ and Steve were sickeningly sweet around each other with made Doug miss Susan and led him to avoid them. Even more so than he was avoiding Bucky, but the man simply wouldn't go away.

He was surprised to see that the man in question was not in the kitchen. Instead, Steve stood with an arm around TJ at least until he walked in. Doug had noticed that Steve hardly touched TJ when people were around. He still couldn't figure out why. "Morning."

"Morning." Steve gave TJ a peck on the lips. "Why don't you have breakfast with Doug while I go find Bucky?"

It wasn't a question since Steve was already leaving. Doug snorted when he was out of the room. "Subtle he is not."

"Not his style," TJ agreed with a fond smile in the direction Steve had wandered off. It was probably a good thing, too. TJ needed blunt sometimes in order to get his head on straight. Too much subtlety would have killed the relationship.

Turning back to the stove they had decided Stark probably never used himself and the counter already laid out with ingredients, TJ looked over his shoulder Doug. "Since he's left, you want his omelet? Or, a smaller one," he added with a chuckle. "I don't think either you or I need that many eggs in one sitting."

"I don't think an entire platoon needs that many eggs. God, they eat like they've been starved for years," Doug answered, shaking his head. "But yeah that's fine." And incredibly strange since Doug never had time for breakfast. Lunch and dinner were iffy too depending on the day. He went for the coffee maker. "Coffee, the breakfast of champion. Do you want some?"

"God, yes. Caffeine!" TJ moaned, turning on the stove and letting a pat of butter melt slowly in the pan. "How did I end up falling for such a morning person? I'm never going to get enough sleep again." It was an empty complaint, however, as he would rather wake up early with Steve then sleep in with anyone else. "I'm thinking mozzarella, tomatoes, and spinach. You okay with that?"

"That's… more food than I have in a day, but sure, that's fine." He poured the coffee into two mugs and fixed it for both of them before handing TJ his. Doug wanted to say more, but everything he could think of would piss off TJ, from doubting how long the problem would last to the fact that sleeping habits were the least of his problems. "Dad called. They are already getting data and passing it over to Stark as we speak. Hopefully they will have enough to input into the algorithm. Mom is in Illinois for interviews. Dad says she'll try to call when she has some free time."

"Thanks." Taking the coffee, TJ drank deeply, then went back to chopping the ingredients for the omelet. "That's good. Sounds like they're okay, then. Sorry you're stuck here. I know you'd rather be in Illinois with Mama." Given how much Doug seemed happier avoiding him, TJ didn't think he needed to frame that as a question. "Could you do me a favor and send me a list of whatever other appearances you've got scheduled for me with the campaign? Not just the next month or so, but all of them?"

Doug knew TJ well enough that this wasn't some sudden interest in the campaign. He looked at his brother for a moment, while he sipped his coffee. "I can't. I don't have anything planned that far out. It all depends on the type of demographic we need to hit at any given time, whether it's best to put you or dad out there and when. Once we hit the Southern states, you can consider yourself free for a while. Homosexual party animal doesn't go well with Christian crowd. Still love Dad, though, because we all know that there's nothing more Christian than cheating on your wife. I'll give you what I have though. Question is why? I know it's not because you care."

TJ bit his lip and focused on throwing the ingredients into the pan with another egg before responding. "I'm considering making some changes when this is all over and I don't want to mess up any plans you already have made. I'm going to need to go between D.C. and New York for a while. Just want to make sure I schedule around what you have planned."

"Some changes. They wouldn't include tall, blond and spandex, would they?" Of course they would and did, and Doug was going to watch this train wreck happen just like he had in the past. "We'll manage. Most papers have their offices in New York anyway, and the campaign isn't going to get into full gear for another few months, more like a year anyway. We'll worry about the schedule for the primary after New Hampshire."

"Include, yes," he admitted. "But not entirely. I've been thinking about it for a while, just didn't have the guts to do it until I met Steve." Setting the eggs aside to cook for a few minutes, TJ then picked up his coffee and turned to face his brother. "I've been considering moving to New York and opening a new club there ever since The Dome took off. But, now there's Steve and the Avengers are based out of New York. It makes sense to do it now. I've talked to my partners at the club and they're willing to buy me out of my portion of The Dome. It'd be enough I could pay you back the rest of what I owe you. And, maybe we could get a fresh start? You and me."

"I don't care about the money, TJ. I never did," Doug said with a shrug. "But yeah, sure, we'll have a great start in two different cities. At least there won't be any more arguing." He should argue about this. Mom would be furious that he hadn't tried to talk TJ out of it, but Doug knew better than to try. TJ did what he wanted to do and they would be there to pick up the pieces when he crashed and burned. "You need to make provision about the Secret Service. You'll be back on their protection list the moment Mom gets that nomination and she will."

"I care. What chance do I have of ever turning my life around if I can't even pay my brother back the money he loaned me?" Biting back a sigh, TJ shook his head. "We don't seem to be doing so well in the same city or the same house. At least this way, you'll know that when I contact you it's not because I want something. And if you don't want to talk to me, I'll be easier to ignore, I guess. I'll talk to Steve and Stark about the Secret Service. Not sure how that will work with the security already in place at the tower."

The omelet was ready, so he flipped it in half and slid it from the pan to a waiting plate, which he handed to Doug before starting on the second one. "What do you want?" he asked, borrowing a page from Steve's book. "What do you want me to do?"

Doug sighed. "Nothing, TJ. I don't want you to do anything. I've never asked you for anything, have I?" He took out forks, although he wasn't even hungry anymore, but it gave him something to do. "You do whatever you need to do, but don't make it sound like you're doing it for me, or any of us."

"I'm not. I'm doing it for me. But, that doesn't mean I can't also hope that something good can come of it for us." It wasn't as if the politics were for him, after all, either. "But, I'm not saying you're asking me for anything. I just want to know what you want. Not what you think I should do, or what Mama thinks I should do. But, what you want? I'd like to find a way for us to be close again like we used to be when we were kids. You deserve a better brother and I'm a better person when I have some distance from the politics. There isn't as much of a chance for my insecurities to make me do something stupid. But, I don't know. I get the feeling you'd rather I not talk to you at all. So, yeah, I'm asking because I'm tired of trying to guess what will make you happy and getting it wrong."

"Every time you'd done something stupid, it had nothing to do with politics and everything to do with your dick," Doug answered. "Stop blaming our jobs for the fact that you can't keep it in your pants, and that isn't the worse part, because you could be like Dad and no one would care, but you have to give your dick and your heart and then you do something stupid. Both times it was because of some fucking conservative asshole who can't admit he likes dick and now you're dating Mr. Apple Pie, but I know that nothing I say will change that, so I'm going to keep quiet and wait for whatever happens, and when you need me, I'll be there. Like always. So do you want to know what I want? I want you not to die this time around. And this is exactly why I don't talk to you, because you will do what you want regardless of what I say."

TJ stopped chopping and turned back to face his brother again. "And what would happen if I did walk away? Because I know that's what you're not saying. You said as much before. So, let's say I walk away. I end this with Steve and I stay in D.C. and I ... do what exactly? Pretend the life where I fuck around and get high and smile for the cameras actually makes me happy? What would I be giving up something that _actually_ makes me happy for? You talk about how this can't work because we're too different. But, you don't seem to have any idea what would make me happy, either. You think the sex and drugs did that, when all they did was make me forget how unhappy I was. You want to make your mark on the world. I just want to _be_ the world for one person, to matter to my family. That's all I've ever wanted. The faerietale that was never good enough for a _Hammond_."

Doug put the fork down. "I don't even know where to start with that stupidity. How about you find someone normal if that's what you want? No, instead you're looking for married closeted Republicans from a hick state and Captain Fucking America. How about John Doe? But that would be too boring. Or how about the fact that you want to matter to your family? You're the only one they care about, TJ. Do you get that? They come to me when they need something, just like you do, but they care about _you_. Nana thinks your shit doesn't stink, while I'm pretty sure she doesn't even remember that there are two of us most times. She remembers now because she hates Susan, just like she remembered before that she liked Annie. God forbid she actually notices that I'm alive. I spend night and day with Mom, she calls me in the middle of the night. Hell she calls me in the middle of sex, and it's always because she needs something or because of you, but she had no idea what's going on with me. She doesn't ask, doesn't care and doesn't see it even when it happens right in front of her face. Dad? Dad might talk and criticize, but that's because Dad only speaks that way, but you're the one with the golden hands, the artistic talent, the one who could do something great. Never mind that I want to become president. So stop with the fucking self-pity, because the Hammond world revolves around you, the poor baby who doesn't like politics and needs to be protected, the gentle one who can't take it, the addict who needs to be protected."

He stopped and clapped. "And when you couldn't outdo yourself, you end up with Captain Star and Stripes. Now you can even take over their PR. Between the boyfriend and the homosexuality, you can be the media darling they want. I'll be in a corner doing all the shit none of you want to do and no one will notice. As usual. So if you think you don't matter, it's just because you're too blind." He pushed the plate toward TJ. "Here, you can have it. I'm not hungry anymore."

"I've always hated the way they treat me, like I'm too stupid to survive because I'm not like them. Like I can't amount to anything if I don't do something 'great'. They already have one son who's going to be great. I'm sorry I've made his life such a hell, when he's the last person I ever wanted to hurt. Maybe my leaving is a good thing after all. They won't be able to do any of that and maybe they'll see you, the way you want them to. You can have all their attention you want and not have to worry about my next fuck up." At a loss for what else to say, when nothing he said would ever change anything, TJ turned back to the stove, trying to salvage the now burning omelet.

"You're both blind to see what's staring you in the face." Bucky's sudden appearance had TJ jumping out of his skin. "You love each other. But, you're so caught up in your parents' perceptions and expectations, you've lost sight of each other. And you don't have to say it, Doug. I know. I'm not family. Blood means nothing. I have no right to butt in. But, if someone doesn't butt in you're both going to lose the most important person in your lives: your brother."

Bucky crossed his arms and stared at each in turn. "TJ, I get that you never asked for this life and your parents' have the emotional range of an M1 Garand. The things they want for you are never going to be what you want for yourself. But, you can't change them. You can only change how you respond to them and stop painting your brother with the same brush. Just because he enjoys the politics, it doesn't make him like them. And Doug, you do a hell of a lot of work that goes uncommented upon and is under appreciated. But, your parents' neglect isn't your brother's fault. The attention they give him, treating him like a child, isn't any healthier than the things he does to escape it. Don't build a wall between you and him just because they're too blind to appreciate what they have. Instead of pushing each other away, you should supporting each other because you're never going to get it from your parents. But, you just might get it from each other if you both shut up and actually listen to what the other one is saying.

"And, by the way? Steve is too nice to say anything about the fact we can hear every word you say. But, I'm not. If it wasn't for 'Captain Stars and Stripes', you'd both be dead. So, if you can't show a little respect to your own brother, show it to mine because he's a better man than anyone alive and he's done nothing to deserve your condescension other than love your brother."

With that, Bucky turned on his heel then and walked out.

TJ stared after him in shock a moment before he turned to Doug. "Is he right? Have I been painting you with the same brush as them? Am I neglecting you as much as they are?"

"What? Are you really going to listen to the guy who barely knows us?" Doug shook his head and then started to laugh, sad and resigned. "Even his bullshit is telling. You're wrong because you treat me like them. I'm wrong because they treat you like a kid. I can't even be wrong on my own merits."

Bucky had one right idea: leaving, and Doug was going to follow him and find a nice spot where no one would find him. "It doesn't really matter, TJ. Have breakfast with Captain Nice Guy," he said, raising his voice just to annoy Bucky. "Go to New York and have your little dream with the happy family. Call me when you need me."

"Don't you get it, yet?" TJ moved in front of his brother to force him to look at him. "I _do_ need you, Doug. I've always needed you. Not to loan me money or cover up my mistakes or fix whatever problem. Just to be you, to be here. You're my goddamn twin brother, the guy I shared a womb with, grew up with, plan on having stand up for me when I get married. If Bucky's wrong, then tell me what's right, Doug. Tell me where I've fucked up. What am I not doing right as your brother? I can't change or fix it if you don't _talk_ to me."

Doug shook his head. "No, you don't. You needed a fixer and I was that for you. Now you have someone else. For once, there's nothing to fix, TJ. Let it go, live your life and just be."

"Don't tell me how I feel, dammit! I do need you, for all those messy emotional reasons you like to pretend you don't feel." TJ grabbed his brother by the shoulders. "I love Steve, no matter how foolishly fast it happened, I'm in love with him and I want to spend my life with him. But, he's not a replacement for my twin brother. No one could ever be that, Doug. No one. Talk. To. Me. Don't just shut down and run away from me. Or yell at me about the problems with Mama and Dad that neither of us can fix. Talk to me. Please."

Doug snorted. "Of course you do, because you love and then you hate, then you love again, then you get high. It's a constant roller coaster with you, and then you say this is really it, you're clean and your life is good, and suddenly we're supposed to believe you and trust you, and you get upset when we can't really trust you, because history says otherwise. So you get the attitude and how dare do we not support you. And I finally give in and say you're right; I believe you. Couple of weeks or months later you show up at my house high or drunk or needing something. Does that ring a bell? How many times have we done that? So maybe you think you need me, but that's because I'm your safety net, because no matter how stupid it is to trust you again and again, I still try, but it's getting tiring, so I'm skipping all the steps. You have my blessing, I'll convince Mom that it's fine. You skip the fight and I wait for the call. There's nothing to fix, because that's what we do."

"I do need you. Not because you're a safety net. Because I love you." TJ swallowed, determined not to give in to the emotions and prove his brother right about how weak he truly was. "But, alright. There's obviously nothing I can say to make any of that better. So, I'm sorry. I've been a shitty brother and you deserved better. I won't bother you with this further." Picking up Doug's discarded plate, he took it to the counter and set about cleaning up the casualty that was breakfast. He wouldn't push himself any further into his brother's life where he was no longer wanted.

* * *

Steve went to find Bucky's first. He couldn't allow this to go on. If Hydra didn't kill them, Doug and TJ were going to kill each other, if not literally, emotionally. As much as he wanted to do something, he knew that Doug wasn't listening to him. "I never heard anything this bad and I've listened to a drunk Morita sing," he said as he found Bucky.

"In pigeon French, even," Bucky added, vague memories hovering just out of his reach, but enough to count as something.

"They have both retreated to different parts of the house and I'm sure they are cursing how small this house is." He stood next to Bucky who was looking at the magnificent view from the pool deck. "I need you to stop focusing on me and help me with them. Can you do that?"

"Old habits die hard, I guess." Seemed like, if he'd had a mission as such before the war, protecting Steve Rogers had been it. Bucky closed his eyes. Southern California's 'June Gloom' had given way to startlingly clear, bright mornings after a couple of days and he reveled in the heat that soaked into his bones and reminded him of better days. "I keep wondering how," he said as he opened his eyes. "How Katie, who was nothing but sunshine, could have raised a son like Bud, how two brothers could be so out of step. But, then I see parts of me in all of them, too. Bud's charm and lecherous nature, Doug's silent jealousy, TJ's self-doubts."

Shrugging, he turned his head with a smirk. "Alright, enough self-pity. What's your plan, Captain mine?"

Steve moved closer and squeezed Bucky's shoulder. "You are the best friend anyone could have, but a few words from a very hurt man aren't going to phase me." It was also a sign of how much in step they were even after everything that had happened. "I've been thinking about Katie too. I don't know Bucky. We can't know what they went through, but we can help."

He sighed. "I'll talk to TJ. He needs a reality check as much as Doug. I'm not sure how he could have listened to his brother and come to the conclusion that Doug wants him to leave him alone, but I want to talk to Doug as well, maybe I can convince him that I'm not trying to steal his brother, but he doesn't seem to like me much. He reacts a lot better to you. Think you can calm down enough to really talk to him? He... They both need people to support them so much, people who can love them no matter what, and you know that I'll do anything for both of them just because they are your family. It's not a great plan, but we're stubborn, a lot more than they are. We keep talking, spending time with them, showing them that we care, until they have no choice but to believe us."

"If they're my family, that makes them yours, too. You heard what Bud said that first time. Katie spoke of losing _two_ brothers." Bucky went to put his arm around Steve's neck, then laughed and knocked his hip into Steve's instead. "That was a lot easier to do when you weren't three inches taller than I am. But, yeah, I was going to talk to them both in a little bit myself, anyway. I figured Doug especially would need the reassurance I'll still be around to annoy him despite getting upset."

Steve still leaned into Bucky like he used to do before the serum and grinned. "You could stop doing it," he said, chuckling. "All right, so we both agree to annoy them until they believe us. It's a great plan and it's speaks to our strengths since neither of us does subtle really well." He looked at Bucky for a moment. "We were lucky. Even when we didn’t have anything, we had each other, and they should have the same. They love each other. You can tell every time they talk about each other or to each other, and yet they can't see it."

"Not a chance." Bucky reached out and ruffled Steve's hair, but he grew serious a moment later. "Told ya years ago, as you reminded me, 'til the end of the line, pal. Wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. Should probably say thanks for not giving up on me, but then you might wonder if Hydra was still in control," he teased. He took another look at the view, luxuriating in the warm sun. Then nodded back toward the house. "Shall we go Hammond hunting?"

"Sure, but I might have the easier job this time around." He smiled. "I'll go find TJ and then we tag later." They'd just have to do it in a way that wouldn't be too obvious, but then he didn't think TJ and Doug would see the obvious. "Doug is in the guest room." He clapped Bucky's arm, before going to find TJ who'd retreated to Tony's room that they'd taken over.

Bucky shook his head fondly as he watched Steve walk away and then made his way back inside himself, the cooler air inside sobering him as much as the sunshine outside mellowed him. The house was impressive, something the young Bucky couldn't have even dreamed of before the war. Still, he wouldn't want to live in a place like it without his family and Steve to warm it up. Making his way to the guest room Doug was using, he thought about how much richer and luckier he'd been than his grandnephews, despite their wealth.

Knocking on the door was simply polite. But, Bucky didn't wait for Doug to give him permission to enter before he walked in. If he waited, he was unlikely to get to have a chance to speak. "Hey," he said softly, standing just inside the door where he could lean harmlessly against the wall. "I'm sorry for coming down on you so hard in there. Always been too overprotective when it comes Steve. Never really got used to the fact he doesn't need the same kind of protection anymore since the serum. I shouldn't have over-reacted like that."

Doug was on the bed where he seemed to be spending way too much time. A new iPad had already replaced the one he'd lost in the attack and he was working. Work was the one thing that made sense. He knew what he was doing. He knew the results he would get. It was relaxing unlike his family, but he barely reacted to Bucky coming in. The man was annoying and Doug was getting used to having him around without having to stop what he was doing.

"It's fine. It doesn't matter anyway." He'd have to care about Bucky's opinion to be upset about it, but he knew that it wouldn't be that easy. "But if it ends this conversation about useless things, apologies accepted. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to get some work done."

"Wasn't going to start a conversation about useless things." Bucky came further into the room and sat on the bed, facing Doug. "Steve, you, your brother, nothing useless there that I can see. I wasn't saying you were wrong, by the way. And definitely not because of anything your parents have done. Your father...I want to like him because he's Katie's son. But, I'll be honest, I can't like a man who treats his children the way Bud treats you. And your mother, well, I can see why she has a reputation for doing the right thing. But, I don't think she sees what she's done to you. All I was trying to say was that, while TJ has a lot of faults -- just like any man -- the way they treat either of you isn't one of them."

Leaning back on his hands, he watched Doug in silence a moment before going on. "I think I'm missing a piece of this puzzle, though. You told TJ you wanted him not to die this time. What were you talking about?"

Doug sighed and put the iPad down. "Look, I get that you think Steve is great, but TJ loves love. He's either fucking random people or he's in love with… well the person doesn't matter, because if it mattered, then he wouldn't pick the people he picks. So he picked the wrong person, a married closeted Republican. People found out, blackmailed him into voting a certain way, and he left TJ. TJ tried to kill himself. Mom found him. I covered it up. When he opened his nightclub, he invited this man. Let's just say that Mom wasn't really happy about it. Huge fight, we didn't go to the opening. His ex didn't show up. Dad decided to show up late and this time he finds TJ ODing on the floor. Guess what? Mom and I covered it up; Susan helped this time. Sooner or later, they'll split up and Steve is perfect, as perfect as it gets in TJ's world, which means that the fall will be even harder. It'll be harder to make sure that he stays alive and that the press doesn't know about it when he's not even in the same city. I wouldn't be sharing but the first attempt became public, even if people don't know why. As you can see, I know exactly what TJ's faults are without adding my parents' to his."

"Yet, you're still angry at him for their mistakes," Bucky pointed out. He was keeping his tone conversational, almost like when they'd discussed the strategy that had led to them taking this 'vacation'. Doug seemed to respond to that more easily than emotional outbursts and, more than anything else, Bucky wanted to get him talking. He thought Doug needed to talk, to get the poison out, as much as he needed to see that he had people who cared for him. "Maybe even a little angry at yourself for being jealous of the attention he gets?"

Doug actually took his time before shaking his head. "No, I'm not angry. I'm not even upset for their mistakes or his. It's not even jealousy, because I know who or what they love the most. It's like…. You know those questions, who would you save? Simplistic, I know, but if each one of them was on a boat and could save one person, Dad would save Mom, maybe TJ after if he could. Mom would save Dad and then TJ. Nana would save Mom and then TJ. TJ would save the boy toy of the moment, or maybe his dealer, then Nana. Me? I'm so sick and tired of everyone's shit that I'd jump into the water and let them fight for the damn boat. I get the situation. I understand it and I accept it. Do you know when I get pissed? When they decide that they care, usually after some major event, and they expect me to ignore decades of history and their own personalities and believe that they truly care. I also understand that in that particular moment, they truly believe what they are saying, but it's never going to last. Mom, Nana, TJ, they are all the same. In a way, I appreciate Dad more, because for all of his faults, you always know where things stand with him. He values himself, his dick, politics, Mom and us in that order. He doesn't look for excuses or apologies. You know sooner or later, he'll cheat on Mom again, just like we all knew that divorce or not, he wasn't going to stay away once Mom decided to run. He doesn't pretend to be anything other than who he is. TJ has decided that he cares about me. I'm sure he believes it and I'm sure it goes with the image he needs to fit with Steve, except he really doesn't, not until he needs something. Right now, he needs to look good with Steve. When they break up, he'll need me to pick him up, keep him sane, maybe keep him alive, but it's always about what TJ needs."

" _Все на солнце ровно глядим -- неровно пьём и едим,_ " Bucky said softly. We all see the same sun, we don't all have the same fun. "I don't actually know which questions you mean, but I can guess the meaning and the things you're supposed to think about. If S.H.I.E.L.D. still existed and had brought me in, I'd probably be stuck in a million therapy sessions trying to 'work out my feelings' about being brainwashed and turned against my country and my family. Psychology wasn't the...thing, I guess, it is now. Ask any of the Commandos that question and you'd get half a dozen insane ideas on how to fit everyone else on the boat while Steve pushed it. Of course, they'd forget I'd be right there in the water with him...."

Shaking away the melancholy that came with thoughts of the Commandos these days, Bucky sighed and refocused on Doug. "I think Steve has less to do with how TJ feels than he does with giving TJ the courage to try to really break his own conditioning. Obviously, I don't know the whole story. He shares a lot more with Steve than he does me. As he should. But, in his own way, TJ strikes me as being brainwashed every bit as much as I was. Your parents speak to him like he's still five. They baby him and coddle him and then, whenever he tries to stand on his own, they tell him why he can't instead of teaching him how to do it. I truly believe he does love you, but he doesn't know how to show it properly, how to handle it. I think that, more than anything, is what's happening now. Steve is an example of how love should be and TJ's taking his first halting steps in trying to learn to be like that. He's not doing so well at some of them, admittedly, but he's trying.

"You're the same, in a way. Conditioned, I mean. Instead of treating you like a child, it's the opposite, though. You enjoy the life they do. So, they treat you as one of them, someone who doesn't need the same coddling because you should be above it. Because they consider themselves to be above needing any validation outside the opinion polls. But- Well, let me ask you a question. It's the general assumption I've picked up on that you want to follow in their footsteps and be President yourself. If that's true, do you want to also be _like_ them, the same kind of person?"

Doug snorted. "For someone who hasn't dealt with shrinks, you certainly have a lot of opinions on the matter, but we'll just have to agree to disagree on just about everything you said. I'll answer your question though. I really want to be like them, except that I can't. I wish I could be as single minded as Mom. She has a goal and she won't let anyone stop her. Meanwhile when she announced that she was going to run against Garcetti, I leaked it, because I didn't think that our family, i.e. TJ, could take it. She won't let anyone stop her and that's really great. Dad? He's the best type of leader there is. He makes a decision, and even when it's wrong, he doesn't apologize for it. He accepts it and moves on. Even with the cheating, he might have been sorry that he got caught or that Mom got hurt, but never that he did it. Hell, even Nana doesn't give a crap about people. She does what she likes, says what she wants and screw everyone else. So yes, I wish I could be like them, but I'm not."

Bucky chuckled. "Opinions are not the sole purview of the psychiatric profession. But, alright, we can agree to disagree until time proves me right," he added with a smirk before returning to the seriousness of the conversation. "What I'm hearing is that you care too much and feel incapable of prioritizing the job ahead of your family, no matter how much you try to do just that. Ironically, that's the same thing TJ says about why he isn't good enough for the rest of the family – his words, not mine. The biggest problem between the two of you is that you react to that feeling in similar ways, but just differently enough you don't see it in the other: you both push away from the other in your attempts to give them what you think they want and not get hurt in the process. He thinks it's better to leave you alone rather than inflict his issues upon you and risk disappointing you again. You seem to be pushing him toward whatever mistake he wants to make rather than admit you're afraid of losing him. And neither of you can see that's what the other is doing, so you keep pushing away and risk _actually_ losing each other as a result, when neither of you wants that."

"You know that I am a politician and used to the bullshit. I mean, we even have catch phrases that you put together to answer questions without answer the questions, and yet, I have to say that I've never heard so much crap as what you just said. You are… God, you're like Dad," Doug said, shaking his head. "You listen, take what you like and then actually convince yourself that you're right. Don't let him hear you or you'll be front and center for the campaign, because you are actually pretty good. You're completely wrong, but you have the makings of a very good politician." 

He got up and tossed the iPad on the bed. "These attempts at making us one big happy family are cute, but useless. I have no problem admitting that I'm afraid that he'll die one day. I dread that call that says he's dead. That doesn't mean that I want to be near him. I can't trust TJ with anything he says. He's proven over and over again that he means something until he doesn't anymore. He is right. He will disappoint me again. It's what he does," he said with a shrug. "It doesn't make me love him any less, but it doesn't make me like him either. I'm really tired of dealing with his selfishness. I also have no problem admitting that you're not a bad guy, but that doesn't make me like you either. You're judgmental, have your own agenda and generally dislike what I do." He stopped and smiled. "You know, I think I'm really okay with this, with him moving. He becomes your responsibility and Captain Spangles'. I get to be Chief of Staff. He gets to be away from us. We never have to deal with each other again. So let's just stop these people and we can all go on their merry way."

"If by agenda, you mean trying to understand how two people who claim to love each other can be so stupidly blind, then yes, I have one," Bucky retorted, trying very hard not to snort at the idea of his being in politics. Politics was too many words and, no matter that Steve had asked him to talk to Doug, Bucky didn't see where words were going to get them anywhere.

"I didn't say he'd be dead," Bucky continued. "I said you'd lose him. You'll push him away, let him be someone else's 'problem', until you might as well not have a brother. And, yeah, maybe I empathize with TJ a bit, knowing that the only reason I'm not still Hydra's lapdog is because _my_ brother refused to give up on me. But, maybe that's the difference in generations. Steve and I would both be willing to die before giving up on family, no matter how much they may not like us. You're ready to let your brother die so that you don't have to worry about him anymore. I think you're more like your parents than you realize. Your priorities are just right. I'll leave you to get back to them."

"And you're a know-it-all prick who can't seem to understand basic English." Doug shook his head. "You don't get that I always worry, but it's useless. TJ does what TJ wants and I have a front row seat to the train wreck that is his life. I know all of this, because I've known my brother for longer than a week. I don't have to look like him or have the hots for the same guy to know what's going on, but feel free to keep making assumptions without knowing us. Let me know how that works out for you."

He shouldn't. It was the very opposite of helpful and productive. But, hearing Doug of all people accuse him of wanting Steve was just too much and Bucky found himself laughing at the insanity of it. "And here I thought you didn't have much of a sense of humor." Getting himself under control after a minute, he shook his head and stood up, preparing to leave. "I just call it like I hear and see it, Doug. But, really, time is the only thing that's going to prove either of us right or wrong. I just wonder which you're really more afraid of: that I'm wrong and everything will go to hell. Or that I'm right and those two last."

"Definitely the first one. It'll be impossible to hide this when Mom is President and I don't want it blowing up in my face. The problem is that I don't need time. I know I'm right." Doug knew TJ too well, while Bucky didn't, but at least he'd get a few months to recharge. "Let's just find these people behind the attacks and we can go back to our lives, and yes, that means politics for me. You want to help any of us, find the person." He turned back and went to the bed. Despite all of their talks, they'd never be the happy family and TJ would never fit. At best, they could get the White House again and deal with everything that came with it.

* * *

When Steve found TJ, he was in the living room on the ground floor. It was inevitable, really. That was where the piano was. And the piano was the only way he had to pour out all the mixed up shit arguing with his brother always stirred up. TJ had never been good at managing his emotions. It was why he'd started using in the first place. Drinking, pills, weed, coke, they managed the pain for him, made him stop feeling, just for a little while as they blurred the edges of everything.

The only other thing that came close was music. Only it didn't seem to be helping much this time.

Sitting at the keyboard, he'd started playing _Moonlight Sonata_ , but after a minute or two, it had devolved into just a random, never-ending series of minor chords. They just rambled along the scales in whatever direction his fingers took with no real pattern or melody. It was just a way to get it out, to make the feeling of being an absolute failure as a brother abate.

And, yet, it did nothing to stop the silent tears from carving a path down his cheeks. When he became aware of Steve's presence, he stopped playing and just sat there, watery eyes turned away to hide his humiliation. "I can't stop fucking up. Even when I think I'm doing the right thing, somehow, I still just fuck it all up in the end. He's right. I've sucked as a brother all our lives and now it's too little, too late. He hates me and there's no way for me to fix this because he doesn't care anymore."

"He doesn't hate you," Steve answered as he walked to the piano. He put a hand on TJ's shoulder and leaned down to kiss his cheek before sitting next to him. The arm tightened around TJ. "He's afraid, TJ. You have screwed up and he's picked up the pieces and he's afraid of doing it again, which makes him hide behind logic, which is why no one can win an argument with him. You can't logically explain emotions, but you can fix it. Not today, not tomorrow, but with time, when he sees that you aren't screwing up anymore, the fear will go away and then you can move forward, deal with whatever resentment is still there. Give him time; give yourself time.

"I'm tired of arguing," TJ murmured, leaning into Steve and taking comfort in his presence. "Everything's an argument and nothing's ever right. I keep fooling myself into thinking any of them will be supportive of the things that make me happy. But, it never happens. And, I know it's my fault because I've fucked up so much and never learned how to deal with shit, with never being good enough. I just wish I could find a way to make it stop hurting. To just accept that's the way it will always be and move on."

"But it won't be," Steve said. "You say how much you fucked up. Then stop fucking up and give them- give Doug the time to see it. Fifteen years of bad habits won't be erased by three months of good behavior. You approach each discussion like it's a blank slate, but it's not. Regardless of what mistakes your parents might have made, you've been an adult for a while and you've hurt Doug without meaning to. Now, you get your life together, own up to your mistakes through your actions and not words. I can't imagine that words mean much to a politician anyway. But, if you're looking for the magic words that will erase the past, then you can't find them. No one can." He sighed. "And a word of advice, stop saying 'they' and 'them'. Bucky told you once. You can't paint your brother with the same brush. If what you've said is true, Doug has been supportive, even when he had no reason to. He needs to see that if he supports you this time, he won't get burned again. Time will do that."

Steve dipped his head and captured TJ's lips with his, while his hand stayed at the back of TJ's head, fingers pressing hot and possessive as if that touch could wipe everything else away. He pulled back slowly and smiled at TJ. "You will fix this. You will fix yourself first, not because of Doug or me, but because of yourself, and then you will fix your relationship with your brother. I know you can be strong enough for that. Start believing in yourself."

TJ sighed softly, one hand grabbing onto Steve's arm so he wouldn't go further away. "I'm trying. But then, I do something and someone -- Doug, Dad, Mama -- tells me why it's a mistake and I start doubting all over again." He smiled. It was a soft, tiny thing. But, no less sincere for it. "And then you say something like this and I start to think it's possible again."

The tiny smile turned into a bit of a smirk. "Maybe you should just keep kissing me like that until I believe on my own. Shouldn't take long. Only another sixty or seventy years?"

Steve laughed. "Or you can find that courage that you have on your own and I'll kiss you just because I like it." He wiped TJ's cheek with a thumb. "You'll be all right, and you have me in your corner when you need to recharge, but it is your job to change things. Let me worry about the attacks and you worry about yourself and your brother. Just because you need time, it doesn't mean that you can't sit with him and talk about the next interview, or the next campaign stop. It doesn't matter that you don't care. Show him that you can pay attention and stay sober at the same time. Show him a little bit each day until he will have to believe in you, but first, let's make breakfast and we'll get everyone sitting at a table. Come on, the piano can wait."

TJ liked hearing Steve laugh. He wasn't used to being the one who could make someone else sound happy. It was something he found he rather liked feeling. Smiling a bit more, if still subdued, he kissed Steve softly. "I love you. Thank you."

As he pulled back, he chuckled. "The piano should wait. It's horribly out of tune. I think my thank you to Stark for letting us use his place will be to get that tuned before we leave." Reaching for Steve's hand, he squeezed gently and didn't let go. "Let's get breakfast."

* * *

Things didn't get better. If anything, Steve was afraid that the little truce would soon explode into a full blown war if they had to stay in the same house, but fortunately they got a call that Bud had come through with the data, which had been forwarded to Tony and they had run the algorithm until the list had been reduced to two.

"Both CIA," Steve said as he hung up and phone and turned to the other men in the living room. Doug and TJ were sitting as far away from each other as possible while Bucky was walking around as usual. He really hated all of this glass. "Let's pack up. It's time to go home."

"Do you want to narrow it down to one?" Doug asked. He tended to stay out of discussions, but this was about their future and about planning a strategy. This was his field.

"One is the Director of the CIA. We're not going to eliminate him from here," Steve pointed out. "It'd make sense, considering how unaware of everything the CIA was when the Vice President worked with Killian to kill the President. Ellis was already on their list. Can someone grab my stuff, too?"

Steve was already on the phone. This wasn't as easy and he was working on a hunch and past relationships, but they didn't have many options at the moment. "Hey, neighbor," he said when Sharon picked up. "Need your help."

"Sure," she answered. No names, of course, not that someone like the CIA couldn't figure out who was calling, but it would take some time.

"You'll get two names, people at the agency. Check them out for me. I'm out of town, but I should be back soon," he told her.

"You'll get me in trouble," she said, but her tone indicated that she didn't care.

Steve snorted. "You don't know the half of it. I'll see you soon." A bye and a click later, he put away his phone again. 

"Someone inside the CIA?" Doug asked, a little too interested. He couldn't help himself, but he was fascinated by the way government worked at all levels.

"A friend," he said, nodding. "TJ met her once. She's the niece of a good friend of ours, and you're still here and not packed. It's time to go, gentlemen."

* * *

"You're going to kill my career," Sharon said as she entered the Barrish/Hammond living room. Their hosts were nowhere to be seen, but the Avengers were all there. "Can you target one agency I don't work for?"

"Hey, neighbor," Steve said, with a slight smile.

"You should work for us," Tony answered at the same time. "We're the only ones not working with Hydra."

"Now that we're all here. Let's go over the plan," Steve continued, ignoring Tony. "Sharon has found enough evidence to show that both Director Morrison and Agent Torres are Hydra."

"I knew it. Numbers never lie," Tony said. "That algorithm should be used across the board, for all agents regardless of which acronym they work for. It'd be great. We just have to hack the NSA and that will give us enough-"

"How much sugar did you have?" Bruce asked.

"Not much. Three coolattas, one latte, some candies," Tony answered with a grin. 

"Are you going to be all right?" Steve asked.

"I'm fine, Capsicle. Back to the plan," Tony said, "or you'll be late for that trap with Morrison."

Steve snorted. "He won't kill me until after he finds out what I know. Anyway, to bring everyone up to speed, I've sent a message to Morrison saying that I have proof that his agency has been infiltrated and that I've sent word to the President. I'm meeting him at the Lincoln Memorial. I expect plenty of Hydra agents coming with him, but as I said, he'll want to know what I have and what I've told Ellis. Buck, I need you to get on the roof of the memorial. Sam and Thor, you'll be there too. While Morrison is out of the office, Sharon and Tony will go to the CIA offices. Tony is going to pretend to be Morrison using a nanotech mask." He really hated those things. "Clint and Natasha will be there as back up. All of our targets are laying low, except for the President, but Rhodey is with him and coordinating with the Secret Service. Bruce is staying with the Hammonds just in case."

"I'd come along, but we don't want the Other Guy destroying the Lincoln Memorial," Bruce said with a sad smile.

"That's fine, and I'll feel better if I know you're here," Steve said. "Tony, are you sure that you can't get to his file without going in there?"

Tony sighed. "How many times do I have to explain? I know I'm a genius, but even I can't hack into servers that aren’t hooked up from outside. When Jarvis hacks into their databases, we're looking at information that's shared with other agencies through the internet. If we know anything about Hydra is that they don't put things online. Remember when I hacked the helicarrier? There was nothing about Hydra. Even the files you made public didn't have everything. They have layers and layers of secrets. I need to be on site to break through."

Steve nodded. "All right, but as soon as you have the information, we're taking whoever is involved inside the CIA down and we can send the rest of the information to the appropriate agencies. Now unless there's something more-"

Tony raised a hand. "Don't cut their heads off. No, really, I'm tired of this thing, cut off a head and two more, just put a bullet in them."

Steve rolled his eyes. "And with that pearl of wisdom, let's move out."

* * *

The plan went as smoothly as possible. There had been a few civilian casualties at the Lincoln Memorial, but they were the result of people panicking and pushing. There had been a few concussions, some fractures, but nothing lethal. The Hydra agents weren't that lucky. Bucky's shooting was even more accurate now than it had been during the war.

With everyone rounded up, the Avengers spread out to give the news to all of their targets. Steve and Bucky found themselves in the Barrish/Hammond living room once more. "We've arrested Morrison and Torres, as well as twenty-seven Hydra agents working for other agencies: FBI, NSA, DHS. There were seven dead, five in the hospital, all Hydra."

"Was Morrison in charge?" Elaine asked.

"Yes and no. As we suspected, there are more than a few factions within Hydra. Morrison believed that he should continue Pierce's agenda. Most of the names of the list were names that were originally part of Project Insight. Fortunately, they don't have a new list," Steve said.

"Most of the names?" Doug asked. "Let me guess. TJ and I were not in that original list."

Steve sighed as he nodded. "As far as we can tell, your names were added at the request of Baron Von Strucker. He's a follower of Red Skull. He found out about your relationship to Bucky and used you to get to us. With TJ's resemblance, he counted on us to connect the dots. We're not certain, but it looks like Bucky and I were the real target. You were bait. I'm sorry."

"Shocking," Doug said as he got up to get a drink. "Never mind that it made sense since if they were going after our family, Mom would have been the most logical target, but it doesn't matter, does it? You caught them, it's over, and we never to deal with you again." That was the highlight of Doug's day, even more than knowing that those responsible for the attacks had been arrested. "Well, except for TJ, who's crazy enough to want to be bait. Did you tell Mom about your move?" he asked, before taking a sip of his whiskey.

"Not yet," TJ replied, eyebrow arching. "I was a bit preoccupied worrying about two of the reasons for that move since we got back from California." It would have been pointless to move if Steve had gone and gotten himself killed, after all.

Biting the bullet, he turned to look at his mother. "What Doug's referring to is that I'd told him when this was all over, I'm moving to New York to open another club. My partners are willing to buy out my share of The Dome at a price that will allow me to pay Doug back what I owe him and leave enough for seed money before I get investors for a new place. And, I can be closer to Steve, as well."

"Where people can find him more easily in case they need bait," Doug said, "In case it escaped your notice, they were trying to kill us."

"Boys!" Elaine looked between her children. "We're always been in the line of fire, Doug. Whether it was the governorship, the White House or the many trips we took. We were in the line of fire while doing something we loved doing. We're ready to be in the line of fire again, because it's the White House. Your brother has been in the line of fire, because we've dragged him there. If that's what he wants, then he should do it."

She looked up at Steve. "Having said that, if anything ever happens to my son, I will use all the powers of the presidency and every connection we have to destroy you and the Avengers. You will not be able to breathe without someone hunting you down. Do I make myself clear, Captain?"

"I understand, Ma'am, but I can't promise you that. I can promise you that I will do everything in my power to keep him safe," Steve said.

"And that's all you have to promise to anyone. Steve's not going to let anything happen to me, if he can help it, Mama. And if it does, it won't be his fault." At least Steve would be there when TJ needed him. And TJ would do the same. "But, I would want this even if he weren't a factor. I started thinking about this months ago, before we ever met. He just gave me the courage to do it, along with some extra incentive," he added with a soft smile directed at the man in question.

"Except that it is," Doug said, exasperated. "Unless you missed the entire discussion, they've been trying to kill us because of them. We might risk our lives, but we do it for our country, for something bigger, something a lot more important than any person could be. Mom, why aren't you saying anything?"

Elaine sighed. "Because as much as I agree with you, your brother is an adult and we've told him plenty of times that he needs to grow up and make his own choices. He's finally making choices that don't involve drugs or men who should be avoided." She got up and moved closer to TJ. "There will be rules if I win the elections, not mine, but the Secret Service. As long as you won't do anything stupid to avoid them, then your father and I will support your move. Isn't it right, Bud?"

Bud raised an eyebrow. "Is this where you expect me to play bad cop, sugar? Or are we letting Doug do it this time?"

"This is the time when none of us play bad cop," Elaine answered. 

"Then of course, we'll support him, complete with a statement to the press of how happy we are that our son is now involved with Captain Rogers," Bud said.

"Doug?" Elaine asked.

"Publicly I'll do whatever you want, but next time he's ODing somewhere, don't call me to take care of him," Doug swallowed the rest of his drink. "And now I'm going home to celebrate with Susan our freedom from this circus." He nodded at his father and kissed his mother's cheek. "I hope I don't have to see you any time soon," he said as he walked past Steve and Bucky.

Bucky's eyes followed after him. "I guess I should tell him I plan to be around a while longer." He smirked at Steve and TJ. "...later."

TJ just stared after his brother with a frown instead of following after and starting another fight.

Elaine followed Doug with her eyes, but didn't try to stop him. She knew her son well enough to know when he needed time alone. "In a way, he's been watching over you for longer than we have. I'm not sure he knows that you've grown up yet or what to do with you not needing him. Give him time, TJ."

"Still need him," TJ murmured, too softly to be heard. "Just not the same way." In a way, focusing on Doug's distance was easier than dealing with the shock that his mother was acknowledging he was an adult and letting him go without an argument.

On sudden impulse, he leaned over and hugged her tightly. "Thank you, Mama."

"I'm still going to worry," she said as she hugged him back. "You're my children. I'll always worry about both of you." Elaine kissed TJ's cheek and pulled back. "Now, since my campaign manager decided to take the day off, your father is going to take me to dinner, and you- go have fun, TJ, because you know that if the elections go our way, you'll be under scrutiny for the next four years."

"Eight years, Sugar," Bud said with a grin.

Elaine smiled. "If I don't kill someone before." She looked at Steve and then back at TJ. "Or you might just be under scrutiny for much longer than that if you're really serious, and no, I don't need to hear anything about how this is it. Prove it to me, TJ."

"Yes, Ma'am." Beaming brightly, TJ nodded as he stepped back as well, and then turned to look at Steve himself. It didn't matter if he was agreeing to the directive to have fun or the one to prove this thing with Steve was the real deal. The answer was the same.

Steve smiled in TJ's direction. "Ma'am, Mr. President, have a good day." He waited for Bucky to say his own goodbyes and they walked out of the out. "I guess we have packing to do now. I was thinking of keeping my apartment here." He looked at Bucky. "Seems someone wants to torture his new found family, but if you'd rather not have something too permanent, I'll move everything and you do have a place at the tower." He smiled at TJ. "I'm assuming you're giving your place up." He couldn't imagine the Secret Service being too happy with a random apartment that wouldn't have security most of the time.

"Got no reason to keep it," TJ confirmed, reaching out to take Steve's hand and lace their fingers together. Even if he and Steve _didn't_ work out, he wasn't coming back to D.C. on a permanent basis. He wouldn't survive it.

"Not torture," Bucky countered at the same time as TJ spoke, his distaste for the choice of words clear. "But, keep an eye on. If you don't mind my crashing there when I'm in town..." He shrugged.

"Good luck convincing him of that." There was no need to say who _him_ was. Doug had made his feelings very clear. "And I don't mind. I've been keeping that apartment for you," he said with a smile, "but you don't get to keep my gramophone. You don't know how hard I had to look for that." He squeezed TJ's fingers. "All right, it's time to pack."

* * *

New York City. It was a much bigger city than when Steve had grown up. It looked even bigger from the top of the Avenger tower, lights spread out as far as the eye could see. It was a beautiful sight and Steve would never get sick of it.

Standing in front of the glass walls of the bedroom, he smiled when he heard TJ's footsteps. "Sorry about dragging you to this party." Governments were in an uproar about all of these people with powers spurting everywhere, legislations were being draft and apparently they went to parties to reassure the politicians that they weren't a threat. "You left your family to get away from politics and you're right in the middle of it again."

He turned slightly and extended an arm toward TJ. "C'm'ere. The view is a lot better than the party."

TJ went willingly, moving to stand in front of Steve and just to the side so he could wrap the other man's arm around his waist while he took in the view. Leaning back against Steve's chest, he shook his head. "Don't worry about it. It's nothing like it was in the midst of the Hammond-tornado." Turning to clip the edge of Steve's jaw with a kiss, he smiled. "Besides, if I'd stayed home, I'd miss out on the chance to see you all dressed up and sexy."

"You like me in a tux. You and every publication," he said with a snort. Steve put his arms around TJ and kissed his neck. "I'd stay home and enjoy the sight here, but Maria would drag me out there and you don't want to piss her off. So happy with the choice?" He had to ask. It had been only a few weeks and TJ was looking for spots to open his club. Things were still in a flux, but Steve was used to things changing. They had been since the serum. "Happy to have moved in with me?" 

"No," TJ laughed. "Let's not get on her bad side." He'd met Maria Hill a few days after moving into the tower and decided immediately she not only knew where the bodies were buried, but had helped put a few of them there. "If Doug ever follows our parents' footsteps, I'm suggesting she be his Chief of Staff. He'd be the most successful President in history when it came to getting shit done."

Resting his arms over Steve's he nodded. "I can't remember ever being happier in my life. To quote you, this feels right. New city, new life, new freedom." He still had obligations because of his family and, now, because of Steve and the Avengers. But, he had the freedom to be himself in ways he'd never had before. Grinning, he looked up at the man who'd given him the courage to do this. "There _might_ this guy I'm head over heels for, too. Maybe you know him? Tall, blond, gorgeous, was born to wear a tuxedo, makes every faerietale seem possible when he smiles."

"Maria is too smart to want to be Chief of Staff," he answered and then smiled again. "Quoting me will usually get you in trouble. Just ask Bucky if you don't believe me." Still looking out over TJ's shoulder, he began unbuttoning his shirt. "Well, if there's someone else, then I should probably go now. I'm not one to interfere with love." 

He spun TJ, around pushing him against the glass. Steve was still gentle with TJ in a way that he never was with other people, but he was learning just how much TJ liked being manhandled. He pushed the shirt off of TJ's shoulders, the sleeves stopping him from moving too much. Steve ran his hands over TJ's chest, a thumb flickering over a nipple, and then a hand slid down TJ's body, pressing against his crotch. "Do you know how good you look?

TJ sucked in a surprised gasp as his back made contact with the cool glass that ended on a moan the moment Steve touched him. This was such a change from the man who'd treated him like glass just a few months ago. He probably could have wriggled free of the shirt and done his own touching. But, Steve had TJ exactly where _TJ_ wanted to be.

"Tell me." Pushing his hips to meet Steve's hand, he smirked softly. "How good do I look?"

"You're incorrigible," Steve said, chuckling. He squeezed TJ's crotch, an intensity replacing the levity of only moments before. "I can't take my eyes off of you. You think people look at me, but it's Captain America. With you, it's who you are inside. It's the way you smile, the way you laugh. God, you are gorgeous, but it comes from inside you." He pressed his entire body against TJ's and his mouth fastened on TJ's neck. "Want you so much."

"It's all because of you, because you're teaching me how to let myself be seen." TJ tilted his head automatically, giving Steve all the room he wanted. He had enough range of motion to get his hands on his boyfriend's hips and hold on tightly. "Steve, fuck." It was like there was a conduit directly from his neck to his growing erection pressed against Steve's hand. "You've got me, anything you want. Everything."

Steve was learning to mix their needs and personalities, his need to be careful and never hurt TJ, TJ's need to see an edgier side, almost as proof that he was truly wanted. A finger moved down TJ's body, too gentle to do more than teasing while he took his time just taking in the sight of his lover. TJ's eyes were always so full of desire, his entire body seemed to be made for sex, and he'd be willing to go along with anything. Steve's job was to make sure that the anything was something they could both live with.

Opening up TJ's pants, he leaned in and crashed his lips with TJ's. His brain supplied that he was wearing too much and he worked his own shirt open without stopping the kiss, but eventually he had to pull back, because TJ was still human and breathing was a necessity. "Two things I like, you and this city. I want to do it right here."

It was a toss-up which sound TJ made was louder: the groan of longing as Steve took possession of his mouth or the frustrated whimper as he stopped. Breathing heavily, he stared up at Steve with eyes blown wide. The blood rushing south meant it took him a second or two to understand what Steve was saying, then he nodded.

"Yes, please." Happy to let Steve keep his arms restrained, TJ worked a leg free instead and wrapped it around Steve's to pull him closer -- if that was even possible. "Make love to me, Steve. Right here. Right now."

 _Make love to me_ , those words would have never come out of TJ's mouth when they had met and now they were as powerful as a magical spell, guaranteed to warm Steve inside. "You just need to be a little patient," he answered with just a hint of teasing. Despite TJ's impatience, Steve always made sure that they took their times and TJ was loose and wouldn't get hurt.

"Patience is still not my best quality," TJ tossed back with a playful pout.

Steve kissed TJ on the cheek. "Get rid of your clothes." He went to the nightstand for lube and shed his own clothes as he returned to TJ. "Turn around, hands on the glass."

It took almost no time to shed the remainder of his clothes, since Steve had been so helpful in getting everything unbuttoned. TJ just had to toe of his shoes and pull off the clothing just hanging from his body. Then he had to look his fill as Steve also undressed, baring a physical perfection that, while gorgeous, barely scratched the surface of what made Steve Rogers so wonderful.

When Steve came back to the window, TJ could finally run both hands over his muscular chest and capture a kiss of his own. Tugging at Steve's lower lip with his teeth as he pulled back, he did as he was told and turned to face the wall with a shiver of anticipation. Though a bit of a hedonist, he wasn't normally an exhibitionist, but the possibility -- however slim -- of someone seeing them together made him harder than he would have thought.

Hands on the glass as instructed, he couldn't help looking back over his shoulder and giving Steve a deceptively innocent look as he arched his back slightly. "How do I look, now?"

"Like you're fishing for compliments." Steve kissed him on the nose, grinning. "And terribly gorgeous." He easily uncapped the lube with a hand and then poured it on his fingers. He dropped the plastic bottle more interested in the man in front of him. "Still, looks are never going to be the thing that attracts me." 

He put an arm around TJ, while he teased the tight channel with two fingers. Even this was a compromise achieved through trial and error. Lube instead of spit, quicker prep instead of the slower pace Steve would have preferred. In a relatively short time, they had managed to find the right compromise. Steve pressed two fingers in while he peppered the skin with soft kisses. 

"Baiting my hook for a different catch." TJ hummed appreciatively as the warmth of Steve's body enveloped him. He still wasn't always sure what he'd done to deserve what they had together. But, whatever it was, he wanted to do it for a very long time.

Groaning softly, he pushed back against Steve's fingers, relishing the initial stretch and burn as his lover worked him open. "God, I love the way you touch me." The mix of tender aggression that had come out of Steve as they negotiated their way in the bedroom kept TJ grounded in ways he'd never experienced, even with all his previous experience. It was like he'd finally found where he belonged and it was there in Steve's arms. "Love you."

Steve's teeth grazed against the soft skin of TJ's neck, before a bite at the nape, sharp and sudden like the sudden spread of his fingers inside the tight channel. Roughness would never come naturally, but those moans, _oh those moans_. He could hear the want in frequencies the human ear wouldn't. The heartbeat sped loudly. The air filled with the smell of their desire. It was impossible to resist when every sense was telling him just how much TJ loved this.

"Love you more," Steve whispered.

"Doubt that."

Words were replaced by kisses, hands busied themselves with touches. Their bodies melted against each other, moving in a silent dance searching for that perfect step, until all patience was gone. Steve pulled his fingers out and grabbed the bottle from the floor. He spread the lube on his cock, before pressing the head against TJ's opening.

This he enjoyed. This moment when anticipation cursed through their veins. He stopped, like he always did, putting just enough pressure to make TJ want more. It was the one hint of control that Steve wanted for himself, proving to TJ each time that they made love that this wasn't about sex, that Steve could stop right now and love TJ just as much. 

"Steve..." TJ whined low in his throat, pushing back against Steve's cock just enough to get his point across without forcing the issue.

This was torture of the most delicious kind. His skin felt tight, stretched thin over pure burning _want_. He'd once told Steve how he'd gotten under his skin, but that description paled in comparison to the reality of how deeply entwined Steve had become in TJ's life and heart. Sex was sometimes the only way he knew how to express that intense emotional connection. Right now, it felt like those emotions were ready to spill over, bathing his skin in an almost electric current that only intensified with each touch from his lover, however light or teasing.

He needed that sense of completeness that only came with feeling Steve inside him. But, he trusted Steve, knew even as he was momentarily denied what he wanted that Steve would never leave him hanging, would always be there to catch TJ if he fell. In every way.

"Steve, please," he said softly, unable to hold back a whimper as he rolled his hips, trying to encourage the impaling he desired. "Need you so much."

Steve grabbed TJ's hips stilling their movement, but instead of pulling back, he leaned even closer, lips brushing against TJ's ear, words whispered conspiratorially. "Always so impatient. One day I'll show you how rewarding it can be to go slow, resting together, moving so slow that it takes ages to come, minutes adding up without mattering, because it will last forever, just like what I feel for you. You have me every day, every hour, every minute. I'm always yours and you're always mine."

Suddenly, he rocked his hips, head pushing past the tight ring, but again he stopped. TJ was burning hot and it would be so easy to take, but he resisted the temptation. Steve laced the fingers of their left hands together while his right arm wrapped around his lover as he slowly started his journey again, feeling TJ open inch by inch with painful slowness. "This is when you are the most gorgeous. So needy, so ready to jump in. I can feel how much you want this, how eager you are. Every enhanced sense tells me how much you're ready. I can smell your desire in the air. I can hear every little gasp. I can taste it on your skin when I kiss you. I can feel it under my fingers. You want me to move, to go quicker, but every muscle is tensed with the effort to stay still, to give me what I want, and it makes me love you even more. This is how good you look."

TJ groaned loudly, hips pressing back against Steve as his body opened to the welcome intrusion. His head fell forward, the smooth glass of the wall against his forehead a cool contrast to the heat of Steve's body wrapped around him. Every word puffed warmly against his skin sent shivers down his spine, little tremors he was sure Steve could feel, proving his point.

"Fuck," he breathed, feeling the warmth of his own words reflected back onto his skin by the window. "Always going to give you what you want. Worth it. Every time." His fingers squeezed Steve's, his grip tightening as he savored the feeling of being stretched and filled so slowly, of being held so close. "Feels so good. You're always so good to me. Want to be good to you."

"You are." Truth was that TJ was good _for_ Steve. It wasn't about the sex, but because he had the ability to make Steve relax and enjoy life. Even if for a few minutes, he could just be himself and not the leader of the Avengers.

"You're the best thing that could have happened to me. You make me love life." Stretching up, he laced their right hands as well and brought them down TJ's body, fingers closing around his erection. His strokes mimicked the rhythm of his hips, loving and frustratingly gentle. 

TJ's answering moan was long and drawn out, just like the way their bodies moved together as he sort of fell into the slow pace. He was learning that it didn't matter how fast or hard they fucked, anyway Steve took him was perfect. Letting his head fall back against Steve's shoulder, he turned so he could press tiny nips and kisses of his own along what he could reach of Steve's neck.

He could just make out their ghostly reflections in the window, the lights of the city wrapping a web of light across their bodies, shadows shifting as they moved together. His eyes slid down, drawn to the reflection of their joined hands on his own cock as he nearly melted back against his lover, almost boneless from the simmering heat building inside him.

"We look good together. Always yo- Oh fuck," he gasped as the head of Steve's cock brushed _right_ across that spot inside him that generated stars in his field of vision. "God, right there. Always yours." Another moan escaped him. "You'll always be mine."

"Right ?" Steve asked as he thrust in, using the same angle. Long slow strokes turned into quick snaps of his hips, hitting the same spot over and over, enjoying the way his very smooth and collected boyfriend shed the Hammond mask leaving behind nothing but need. "This is what you wanted, isn't? So damn sexy like this."

Gulping down a gasping breath, TJ nodded. "There...fuck...You...fuck, so good...want you...oh, fuck. Steve..." Coherency faded into babbling encouragements as everything blurred to his mind except Steve and the city lights, little pin pricks mirroring the electricity that seem to scatter across his skin as pleasure pounded through him.

There was no slowing down again. Each thrust drove punishingly deeper. Their joined hands moved faster. Steve kissed TJ's shoulder and neck, sucking and nipping the skin until he knew that there would be marks in the morning, marks that wouldn't fade easily. There was no teasing now, no demands for taking their time, just a fast rhythm until every sense told him just how close TJ was. He twisted their hands, putting just a little more friction. "Come for me, TJ."

Too much and not enough, the pleasure crescendoed until it crashed over TJ in a powerful orgasm that painted the glass with long ropes of white. He cried out Steve's name as he shuddered in his lover's arms for what seemed like forever until he was left panting and spent, clinging to Steve as his knees threatened to give out on him and he lifted his chin for a kiss.

Stained hands pressed against the glass while Steve kept pushing faster. He rarely kept his arms around TJ when he was this close, too afraid to hurt him, even if involuntarily. Not that it mattered, not tonight, after spending the evening watching and imaging this very moment. He moved faster, once, twice more and then he was coming

Steve rested his forehead on TJ's shoulder. Their right hands glided down and Steve wrapped his arm around his lover again. "Why do we never manage to reach the bed?" he asked, huffing. "Even super soldiers like to lie down afterward," he teased.

"Because we have trouble keeping our hands off each other that long?" TJ's laugh was still breathless and rough. Nuzzling at Steve's jaw, he sighed in contentment and smiled softly. "How long have you wanted to ravish me against this wall?" he asked quietly, amusement laced through the words.

"Not that long," Steve admitted. "I'm usually too occupied thinking about ravishing you wherever we are standing at any given moment to focus on this." He turned his head and kissed TJ gently. "Come on, let's get cleaned up and get some sleep. If we're lucky, there won't be any emergencies before dawn."

TJ hummed happily before reluctantly pulling away enough to turn around so he could kiss Steve properly. "If we're really lucky, there'll be a second round before dawn instead," he teased. "I hear slow morning sex is supposed to be really good."

* * *

It wasn't the first time that he'd been at the White House. President Ellis had invited the Avengers more than once during the recent threat from Hydra. Steve had even spent the night, working on coordinated defenses for all of the people involved. He'd never expected to actually sleep at the White House the night before the inauguration, but he had.

Elaine had won the elections, just like every poll had predicted. Bud was technically not the First Husband or First Anything since they weren't married, but he was never more than two steps away from her. Doug was on cloud nine waiting for the Chief of Staff appointment everyone knew was coming. Margaret tried to drink a little less around reporters. Bucky oscillated between wondering how they could be related to him and arguing that the Secret Service was not good enough protection for his family.

Steve was just happy that things were relatively quiet. Just a little over two years had passed since he'd first met TJ. Now they were sharing an apartment in the Avengers Tower. Bucky still went from DC to New York. The campaign trail had been tiring, but thankfully uneventful unless one counted the occasional outbursts between TJ and Doug. One day, he and Bucky would manage to get those two to really listen to each other. Stopping that train of thought, Steve looked at his reflection in the mirror. He hated wearing suits, no matter who the designer was. He didn't think they fit right. His uniform felt and looked a lot better as far as he was concerned, but he didn't have a choice today.

Stepping away from the mirror, he moved closer to TJ. Steve fixed his tie, although it was already perfect, but he would take any excuse to touch his lover. "Before we go out there, there's something I want to ask you." He unbuttoned his jacket, reached into his pocket and as he brought out a box, he went down on one knee. He hadn't picked today randomly. He could have chosen some special night, some fancy restaurant, but it would suddenly turn into a family decision, when to come out, when wouldn't the announcement overshadow Elaine, when could it be used to distract the public. Instead, today no one would care about another gay couple getting engaged, not when the first woman was becoming president.

Looking up, Steve smiled brightly. "TJ Hammond, would you do me the honor of becoming my husband?" he finally asked, showing the simple silver band.

TJ stared for a moment, overwhelmed. He'd gotten better about the doubts and fears that Steve would leave. But, there were still those occasional moments when he knew he didn't deserve to be so happy. Looking at Steve now, those thoughts were so far away he could barely remember having them at all.

"Yes," he whispered, nodding vigorously. "God, yes." With typical impatience, he reached down to tug on Steve's lapels with both hands. Of course, the chances of his ever being able to haul the other man up were nil. So, instead, he joined Steve on his knees so he could get his lips on Steve's faster.

Steve began laughing against TJ's lips. "I was going to get up." Another kiss and another, then one more, and he pulled away smiling. "As much as I'd love to celebrate properly, Doug will have a heart attack if you're late." He picked up the ring and took TJ's hand in his. "Today, when you and your brother hold the bible for your mother, the world will see a glimpse of this, but this ring is for you and me, not for the world. I love you, TJ," he said, before slipping the silver band on TJ's finger. 

"You took too long," TJ teased in return before pouting slightly. -- So, he was not above a little good-natured pouting to convey his preference for doing something other than what he had to do, especially if he was doing it anyway. -- "Doug will have a heart attack anyway when _he_ sees it," he pointed out.

Holding up his hand once the ring was on, he couldn't stop grinning. His whole family was going to know something had happened and, for once, he couldn't have cared less. "I love you, too." He leaned in to kiss Steve once more before reluctantly pulling away so they could stand up. "Right. Inauguration. Mama's big day. Then we can celebrate properly in private."

There would be blurry photos and speculation once the media started running out of things to say about the new president in days to come. But, as Steve had said, this was for them.

The world would have to wait just this once.


End file.
